Tah-Dah!

It’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. A year ago my plan to piece a different quilt block every day and to post it in my blog seemed more than a little mad, even to me. It’s been quite an adventure. I’ve produced and posted more than 300 blocks in the past 365 days. Dozens have already been sewn into quilt tops and are waiting to be quilted. Dozens more have been given to friends on two continents. I still have several dozens left; enough to keep me busy for at least another year. I’ve been asked if I intend to continue my daily blocks. While there are still hundreds of block designs I haven’t done, I have other places to spend my time and my energy this coming year. I’ll still post pictures here from time to time. Instead of individual blocks, I think I’ll show you whole quilt tops and finished quilts. I hope you have a happy new year!

Courthouse Steps

Here are a few of my favorite imponderables: If you forget to pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get the Teflon to stick to the pan? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase? If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? What happens when you get scared half to death...twice? All airplanes come equipped with an indestructible black box. Why don’t they make the whole plane that way? How come the numbers on a calculator keypad and a telephone keypad are arranged differently? Why is it that when you send something by truck it’s called a shipment, but when you send it by ship you call it cargo? And if ignorance is really bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

Hope of Hartford

Sausage and Onion Pepper Pot

2 pounds Italian sweet sausages
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons fennel seed
1 mild chile pepper, thinly sliced
3 bell peppers, cored and thinly sliced
2 large onions, thinly sliced
4 cloves minced garlic
2 cups chicken or beef broth
1 (15-ounce) can Paul Newman Sockarooni Sauce
Fresh parsley, finely chopped

Place the sausages in a Dutch oven and add 1" water and 1 tablespoon olive oil. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and allow water to simmer away. Remove the sausages to a plate. Add remaining oil to pan. Over medium-high heat stir in fennel seed, then add in the peppers, onions, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper and cook 15 minutes to soften. Add broth, tomato sauce and parsley. Slice sausages and add to the pot. Serve with hot French bread. Serves 4 hungry people.

Union Square

John and I were married in Washington D.C. LDS temple thirty-three years ago today. We chose the time and place so family and friends in the east could share the day, and so we could squeeze our wedding into the break between semesters at BYU. If I could do it again, I’d have chosen the Salt Lake temple. The trip ended up costing much more than we’d imagined, especially when John’s Mustang blew a piston coming home. I’ve often wished I’d picked any day other than the midpoint between Christmas and New Year’s. It’s a romantic time for a wedding but a stupid time for an anniversary. We never seem to have any money or energy left to celebrate by this time of year. Occasionally we try to dine out but it’s usually a mistake. We spend more time waiting for a table than sharing it. The one thing I wouldn’t change is my groom. Happy Anniversary, John!

Indian Mats

When Mormons first settled Panguitch, Utah in 1864, they found it rough going. The snows came early that year, before their crops were ripe. By midwinter things became desperate. Seven men set out for nearby Parowan to bring back food to help them survive until spring. They didn’t get far before their wagon became hopelessly mired in deep snow. They had no better luck on foot. The men decided prayer was their only recourse. They unrolled their bedding - quilts their wives had made - and knelt down. When they finished praying they realized the quilts had kept them from sinking into the snow. They made it to Parowan and back with the much-needed food by placing quilts over the snow as they went. Every summer Panguitch celebrates the “Miracle of the Quilts” with a quilt walk festival. Visiting this festival is one of many things I’m looking forward to in 2012.

Jewel Box

If you think yesterday was the twelfth day of Christmas, think again. The twelve days of Christmas begin Christmas Day and end on the Epiphany. So today is the second day, the day of the two turtle doves. It’s also Boxing Day and Saint Stephen’s Day, a day to tip tradesmen and to give to the poor. As the story goes, Good King Wenceslas was watching as night began to fall at the close of St. Stephen’s Day, and saw a poor man gathering sticks for fuel at the edge of the forest. Overtaken by compassion, Wenceslas and a page set forth with food and firewood to give to the poor man. The cold and the snow are almost enough to make the page turn back, but he found if he walked in his master’s footsteps his feet stayed warm and dry. As the last verse of the carol claims, “Ye who now will bless the poor shall yourselves find blessing.”

December

On December 24th 1818, the curate of a parish in Obendorf, Salzburg, Austria, Father Joseph Mohr, gave a poem to a friend of his, Franz Xaver Gruber. Gruber was the choir master and also the organist in Joseph Mohr’s church, the Church of St. Nikolaus . He asked Mr. Gruber if he would write music for his poem, that he might write it for two male voices and guitar accompaniment. The church’s organ was broken and the curate desperately wanted music to be a part of their Christmas service. (On a side note, Mohr had written the poem two years earlier, but didn’t ask for Gruber’s help until the day before he wanted it to be performed. So typical.) Mr. Gruber wrote the melody to a song which has become the most beloved of all Christmas carols, Stille Nacht; in English, Silent Night. Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh! Sleep in Heavenly Peace.

Turkey in the Straw

First, let me explain that I was never a Seinfeld fan. It bothered me that the show seemed to promote selfishness and unbelief. More than just a show about nothing, it was a show that taught life was nothing. It frightened me to think that it was so insanely popular with teenagers, the very people at risk for suicide and other self-destructive acts. Having said that, I will admit that Seinfeld has provided some very funny moments. Seinfeld gave us regifting, the soup Nazi, and Festivus, the holiday for “the rest of us.” I guess atheists, agnostics, and anarchists might feel a little lonely around this time of year. So it’s only natural they should want their own holiday. Hey, I made room for Leave Zucchini on Your Neighbor’s Porch Day and International Talk Like a Pirate Day. How could I leave out Festivus?

Crown of Thorns

Date Nut Bread

1 cup chopped dates
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons butter-flavored Crisco
3/4 cup boiling water
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup white flour

Preheat the oven to 350. Butter and flour an 8 1/2 x 4 1/2" loaf pan. Put the dates, walnuts, baking soda, salt and shortening in a bowl. Pour the boiling water over and stir. Let the mixture stand for 15 minutes. Using a fork, beat the eggs and sugar together in a bowl. Add the flours and stir; the batter will be stiff. Add the date mixture and mix until well blended. Spoon into the loaf pan and bake 40 to 50 minutes. Do not over bake. After a few minutes slide a knife around the edges of the pan and turn onto a rack to cool completely.

Snowballs

Everyone told Walt Disney it was a mistake. Until December 21 1937, cartoons were short clips that ran before the real film, while everyone was grabbing popcorn and getting seated. Even his wife Lillian said, “No one’s ever gonna pay a dime to see a dwarf picture.” But Walt knew better. He put everything he had into Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs; the first American animated feature film. Snow White was re-released in 1944 to help raise money for a studio hurt by WWII. It was released again every seven to ten years afterwards. I believe I saw it first at age eight. In one scene the Wicked Queen descended to her dungeon and laughed at the corpse of a man she’d tortured to death; he’d obviously died slowly of thirst with a pitcher of water just barely out of reach. She scared me half out of my wits. She still does.

Girl Next Door

Today is Go Caroling Day. It’s a terrific day to grab a few friends and sing on doorsteps. Caroling is a simple tradition, but a little planning can go a long way toward ensuring a happy outcome. 1) Dress warmly. There’s no such thing as bad weather; only inappropriate clothing. Don’t forget sturdy boots for icy/snowy walks. Wear something bright, so motorists can see you. 2) Keep the music simple. Choose songs that are easy to sing and that everyone knows. Jingle Bells, Silent Night and We Wish You a Merry Christmas are good choices. Don’t attempt We Three Kings or The Coventry Carol unless you’re a professional. 3) If you’re not keen on slogging through the snow, check to see if a local nursing home would like to be serenaded. 4) The most important detail: have plenty of hot chocolate, marshmallows and gingerbread men to warm up with when you’re done!

Cross and Chains

Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is 168 years old this month. Heather owns every version of the movie she could get her hands on. She plays them all year and can repeat every line. My favorite quote from the original text is this: “The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste and moaning as they went. Every one of them wore chains like Marley’s Ghost. Many had been personally known to Scrooge in their lives. He had been quite familiar with one old ghost in a white waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant whom it saw below upon a door-step. The misery with them all was clearly that they sought to interfere for good in human matters, and had lost the power for ever.”

Teddy Bear

Many years ago I bought an advent puzzle at a Hallmark store. It had twenty-four numbered pieces of painted wood, each in a small numbered cardboard box. Beginning on the first of December, we would open one box a day, slowly assembling the puzzle as we went. The first piece was the red base of a Christmas tree and the last was the yellow star at the very top. The seventeenth piece was brown and shaped like a teddy bear. Not long after I bought the puzzle I decided that this day, a week before Christmas eve, was a great day to declare independence from the madness of Christmas. As of this day, any cards not sent will simply not be sent. Any decorations not hung will not be hung. Any gifts not wrapped will stay that way. This last week before Christmas is for relaxing and enjoying the season with my family. End of story.

Garden of Eden

The first time we visited the Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World, we weren’t expecting much. We usually go to theme parks for rides, especially roller coasters. At the time they were still building Expedition Everest, and the rides that were running weren’t that impressive. But it IS a Disney theme park. That means there’s a lot of attention to detail. The more you look, the more you’ll see. The Tree of Life is cool seen from a distance, but absolutely mind-blowing at close range. We saw more wild animals on the Kilimanjaro Safari than I would have thought possible. But the one thing I’ll never forget is the floor of a small handicapped bathroom near the Flame Tree Barbecue. It was a mosaic that depicted frogs catching butterflies. Someone went to a lot of work to decorate a spot that only disabled people and their caregivers will ever see. I’m touched.

Wishing Ring

I know the layout of Disneyland like the back of my hand. I can get around most of the other Disney parks I’ve visited, with one exception. For some reason Hollywood Studios stumps me. On our first visit there, we wandered about during the daylight hours, periodically checking our map to see where we were and where we wanted to go next. Around sunset we bought some souvenir beach towels. I told the rest of my party I’d take the towels to the front desk. (If you stay at a Disney resort, they’ll deliver purchases straight to your room.) Then I’d meet them near the Tower of Terror and the Rock ‘n Roller Coaster. I had no trouble dropping off the towels, but when I headed back I got hopelessly lost. No matter which way I turned I kept ending up at the big sorcerer’s hat in the middle of the park. I suspected that like the stairs in Hogwart’s, the footpaths were moving about.

Aunt Dinah

In the early 90's I honestly thought reading was a dying art. Each year my students were less and less interested in books. The only things that got their attention were movies and video games. But in 1997 they started telling me about this amazing story; an orphan with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. An ordinary boy discovers he can make magic. And he DID make magic. Almost overnight he transformed kids who hated to read into kids who couldn’t wait for their next book. I searched the library, but every copy was checked out. I bought Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and read it the same day. Then I read it aloud to my kids. When we moved to England and were only allowed to bring one small box of books, every single volume of Harry Potter made the cut.

King's Crown

My daughter Heather has to have her blood tested at least once a year to monitor a thyroid condition. When she was very small, we imagined that eventually she’d learn to relax and tolerate the procedure. It hasn’t happened that way. Instead, we’ve learned to distract her by talking about our next Disney trip. Heather’s veins like to play hide-and-seek, so what should be a simple thing can become a long and painful ordeal. The only thing that gets her through it is the thought of her favorite rides. Most of these are in Fantasyland in Disneyland, and in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World: the Mad Tea Party (which she always calls “the teacups), It’s a Small World, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, Snow White’s Scary Adventure, King Arthur’s Carousel (in Florida the carousel belongs to Cinderella’s Prince), and her dad’s favorite: Peter Pan’s Flight.

Sky Rockets

We have three reasons for wanting to revisit the Epcot Center. The first that comes to mind is the food. There are nearly thirty amazing restaurants in the park, offering German, French, Mexican, Moroccan, Japanese, Chinese and Italian food. There’s even a traditional English pub where you can order fish and chips (the mushy peas are extra). Epcot doesn’t have many rides, but we’re looking forward to Mission: Space. An exciting ride that simulates a trip to Mars, it’s attractive enough to pull us away from the World Pavilion restaurants. But we’re also going because it was sponsored by Hewlett-Packard. Employees and their guests have access to a private VIP retreat called the Red Planet Room where they can chill before the ride. The third reason? At Epcot’s huge aquarium, they offer a scuba experience called DiveQuest. Our son and daughter-in-law were recently scuba-certified. Wouldn’t it be something to watch them swim with the fishes?

Trip Around the World

Shortly after we moved from California to New York, my family took a trip to Florida. It seems to me we rode a bus there so real estate agents could convince my parents to buy swamp land. I do remember there were bingo games on the bus, and my little sister kept winning. After she’d won a few prizes, Daddy got embarrassed and stopped announcing it when she’d get another bingo. I think it rained most of the time we were there; not the kind of rain they have in New York or Utah or even California. It wasn’t the least bit refreshing, like stepping into a warm shower with all your clothes on. At one point one of the agents directed our attention through the windows of the bus. “That’s where they’re building the new Disneyland park,” she said. I looked, but all I could see was wet cows and soggy citrus trees. I sure wouldn’t mind owning property there now.

Card Trick

Welcome to Christmas Card Day. I’ve been writing and sending Christmas cards since 1977. I even publish an annual Christmas brag letter. You know, the kind that says, “Joe Jr. loves his new campus,” and omits the fact that it’s the state prison and not BYU. For some people, it’s the only mail they’ll get from me all year. I start thinking about next year’s Christmas cards on the day after Christmas. I like to hit the Hallmark stores early on Boxing Day, so I can get at least 40 nice cards that match at half price. I don’t know what compels me to buy the kind with a slot to paste in a photograph. I must be an eternal optimist. I always think that somehow in the next 300 or so days, we’ll magically come up with a family photo that I don’t hate. It didn’t happen last year. What makes me think it will happen next year?

Peace and Plenty

I was born too late to be really crazy about the Beatles. When teenage girls were screaming and fainting over the Fab Four, I was learning to spell my name and tie my shoes. I remember reading about John Lennon and Yoko Ono staging a “bed-in” in Amsterdam and another one later in Montreal. It’s an interesting idea; camping in a hotel room to protest a war. It might be worth trying if the room service was good. What I remember best about Lennon is his music. He wrote many of my favorite Beatles songs: The Long and Winding Road, Let It Be, Penny Lane, Hey Jude, Yesterday, and All You Need is Love. John Lennon was shot thirty years ago today by an obsessed fan who had recently acquired his autograph. I may not have been nuts about the Beatles, but I still felt a sense of loss.

Aloha Star

The USS Utah was a Florida-class battleship launched December 23, 1909. She was the only ship of the US Navy to carry the name Utah. Through most of World War I she was an engineering and gunnery training ship in Chesapeake Bay. In 1941 the USS Utah had been recently refitted and rearmed and was again serving as a training vessel in Pearl Harbor. She was one of the first casualties of the attack on Pearl Harbor; sunk by a torpedo at 8:01 exactly seventy years ago this morning. December 7th, 1941 was a Sunday. Many people think the Japanese chose this particular time and date because the Americans would likely be sleeping in or at least a little less alert. Most of the men onboard the USS Utah escaped with their lives, but six officers and fifty-two crewmen did not. Someday I’d like to take a trip to Honolulu to pay my respects in person.

Mother's Own

Today is my mother’s birthday. I am prodigiously proud of her. She married the man who would become my father, knowing she would eventually be his caregiver and his widow. She helped Daddy earn his PhD while raising toddlers. For years she has served selflessly in many church callings. She found time to earn a college degree and a teaching certificate with teenagers underfoot. She was one of the best elementary school teachers I’ve ever met. Every week she conducts the hymns in her church, she babysits my grandson, and she serves as a hospital volunteer. She patiently encouraged me to take quilting classes with her, in spite of my claims that I’d never be good at “that sort of thing.” She was always supportive of my endeavors, no matter how crazy they were. Thank you, Mother. And happy birthday!

Temperance

The temperance movement in the United States has been around since the mid-1800's. The people promoting it were concerned primarily with the crime and violence that excessive intoxication brings. The Eighteenth Amendment to the US Constitution was ratified in 1919, prohibiting the manufacture, sale, transportation or importation of “intoxicating liquors.” It was a difficult law to enforce. The harder it was for people to get booze, the more they seemed to want it, and the more bootleggers were willing to risk to get it to them. Organized crime made a big profit, and their escalating turf wars actually increased violence in many cities. Prohibition was repealed on December 5, 1933 with the 21st Amendment. Many people today point to the “Noble Experiment” as a grand failure. But it did engender a sort of social reform. Americans do still drink. But drinking to excess is not accepted or tolerated the way it used to be. We have one of the world’s lowest drinking rates, and 37 percent of us don’t drink at all.

Hearth and Home

Sometimes I think we go on vacations so we’ll appreciate our homes more. I know it’s why people go camping. There’s nothing like a night in a tent for making you cherish your own bed. In a few weeks we’ll leave the place we’ve called home for nearly three years. It’ll be at least another two months before our furniture catches up with us and we can settle down again. Today, on Roof Over Your Head Day, I’m thinking of the things I’ll miss most about this house. Like so many English homes, it’s built of stone. That means I can’t make a cell phone call indoors, but it also means it’s quiet in here even when the neighbours set off fireworks. I love my gas stove, stainless steel sink, and marble counters. I’ll really miss the clean, quiet radiators and the on-demand water heater.

Nine-Patch Heart

The University of Utah had been trying to design a permanent artificial heart since 1967. The chief problem was getting blood where it needed to go without crushing the delicate red blood cells and causing life-threatening clots. On December 2, 1982 Dr. William DeVries implanted an artificial heart into Dr. Barney Clark, a retired dentist. Dr. Clark lived 112 days after the procedure, dying on March 23, 1983. The device that kept him alive for one more Christmas, one more New Year’s, and one more Valentine’s Day was named the Jarvik 7 after a student at the University, Dr. Robert Jarvik. What most people don’t know (but I find absolutely fascinating) is that Paul Winchell, the voice of Tigger in Disney’s Winnie-the-Pooh, also had a hand in this event. A medical student and inventor as well as an entertainer, Winchell designed a seamless ventricle which he patented and later donated to the University of Utah.

Hidden Star

On this day in 1887 Sherlock Holmes first appeared in print. His debut case was called A Study in Scarlet. The story revolves around a man and a girl who are stranded in the western American wilderness. They are rescued by Mormon pioneers who force them to adopt their religion and to marry within the faith. I think it’s sad that an educated and otherwise open-minded man like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle felt comfortable writing about the LDS religion and people when he knew so little about them. If his audience hadn’t been equally ignorant and frightened of the Mormons, he might have been less successful as a writer. And that would have been a pity, because the world might never have known the famous literary detective who taught us, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”