Four Split Four-Patches

 

One Dozen Kitty Cats

 

Today’s the 181st day of the year, with 184 days left. It’s not EXACTLY the midpoint of the year, but as it’s the last day of the sixth month, with six months left, it’ll do. The United Nations declared June 30 International Asteroid Day, as the infamous Tunguska event occurred on this day in 1908. They said the day was to “raise awareness of asteroid impact hazards,” but it isn’t clear what we’re meant to DO about it. This is also the anniversary of the day the Republic of Congo gained independence after decades of brutal colonial rule by Belgium (1960), and of the Night of the Long Knives (1934), when Hitler purged members of his own Nazi party. Today is swimmer Michael Phelps’ 41st birthday, and its boxer Mike Tyson’s 60th. Actor Vincent D'Onofrio is 67 today. So, I’m exactly a month older than the guy who plays Kingpin. But I still have my hair. 

Community

 

“After His Resurrection, Jesus walked with two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Luke records that when they reached their destination, the Savior ‘made as though he would have gone further. But the two disciples constrained him, saying, Abide with us.’ Those disciples invited the resurrected Savior to abide with them. Without first the desire and then the invitation, their hearts would not have been transformed, their eyes would not have been opened to recognize Him, and they would not have returned to Jerusalem to bear witness of the living Christ—the True Vine. My beloved brothers and sisters, in a world of many voices, remaining connected to the True Vine is not merely desirable; it is essential to our spiritual survival. Those who abide in Jesus Christ come to recognize and trust His voice, especially as it is spoken through those He has called to represent Him.” – Elder Ulisses Soares

Louisiana Without Borders

 

I couldn’t be happier that Utah’s governor has banned the use of consumer fireworks for the next week or so. We already live in a desert, and this year it’s hotter, dryer and windier than it’s ever been. Large chunks of the state are already burning, and our firefighters are already stretched thin. It’s a stupid time to play with explosives. I know at least a few of my neighbors will disregard the ban. They already treat most laws as helpful suggestions really meant for other people. But I suspect most of the people in my neighborhood will take this seriously, which should give my home a fighting chance of still being here by the end of July. Just in case I’m wrong, it’s a good time to prepare for possible evacuation. No one's asking me, but I believe the only appropriate firework holidays are New Year’s Eve, Lunar New Year, and Utah’s Statehood Day: January 4. Or any Disney vacation.

Berry Cool

 

The day before yesterday I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a Kleenex to blow my nose. (I don’t have a cold, and it isn’t allergies. There are wildfires burning upwind from my neighborhood, and the air quality has everyone dealing with headaches, sore throats, sinus issues and worse.) I raised the tissue to my face and – just in the nick of time – realized there was a large earwig clinging to the middle of it. I really dislike earwigs. I panicked. I may even have screamed. I dropped the tissue, earwig and all, and stomped on it several times, then flushed what remained down the toilet. That particular earwig is no longer a threat. But now I’m imagining hidden earwigs EVERYWHERE. The bathroom has no windows and is nowhere near any exterior door. How did the little beast get so far into my house completely unseen? And where can I move that’s completely earwig free?

Rock Garden

 

In 1807, Napoleon signed the Treaties of Tilsit, ending the war between France and Russia. To celebrate, Napoleon organized a rabbit hunt at the estate of his chief of staff, Alexandre Berthier. Berthier arranged for hundreds, perhaps thousands of rabbits (some accounts say up to 3,000) to be released on the grounds, expecting them to scatter and be hunted as part of the festivities. But these weren’t wild-caught rabbits. They were purchased from local farmers. Instead of fleeing from humans, they ran straight at them, expecting to be fed. The hungry bunnies swarmed Napoleon and his men, causing them to make a hasty retreat. This story reminds me of an incident in April, 1979, when President Jimmy Carter was fishing. A rabbit swam towards his boat, "hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared." The President panicked and splashed at the scary beast with his paddle. There were no reported casualties.

Split Four-Patch

 

If you ever find yourself supremely bored with an Internet connection, Google the infamous Roman Emperor Caligula. If only a small fraction of the things that have been written about him are true, he’d still be one of the weirdest humans who ever walked the earth. He only ruled four years – from 37 to 41 A.D. – but his short reign was marked by extravagance and cruelty. His real name was Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Caligula (which means “Little Boot”) was a childhood nickname given him by his father’s soldiers. According to one story, Caligula was on his way to invade Britain when he came to the northern coast. He called off the invasion and decided to make war on the sea. He ordered his soldiers to repeatedly stab the waves so the god Neptune would be offended. Then, he had them fill their helmets with seashells as spoils of war.