Split Four-Patch

 

If you ever find yourself supremely bored with an Internet connection, Google the infamous Roman Emperor Caligula. If only a small fraction of the things that have been written about him are true, he’d still be one of the weirdest humans who ever walked the earth. He only ruled four years – from 37 to 41 A.D. – but his short reign was marked by extravagance and cruelty. His real name was Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Caligula (which means “Little Boot”) was a childhood nickname given him by his father’s soldiers. According to one story, Caligula was on his way to invade Britain when he came to the northern coast. He called off the invasion and decided to make war on the sea. He ordered his soldiers to repeatedly stab the waves so the god Neptune would be offended. Then, he had them fill their helmets with seashells as spoils of war.

Ten Kitty Cats

 

“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” – Woody Allen

“A cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.” – Morey Amsterdam

“New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move.” – David Letterman

“I was such an ugly kid, when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Big families are like waterbed stores. They used to be everywhere, and now they’re just weird.” – Jim Gaffigan

“I stayed up one night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” – Steven Wright

“Congress is the finest group . . . money can buy.” – Morey Amsterdam

"I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Kaleidoscope Star

 

“Ministering by the Spirit invites the Savior’s healing into our lives and the lives of those we minister to. I often find peace, clarity, healing, and purpose when I minister. I find the Savior when I minister. This is by divine design. Ministering is truly loving and caring for others as the Savior would. It is a way of being; it is the way of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It is not a program or a checklist; ministering is the essence of who God is and who we can become as we follow Him. We are not called to or released from ministering. It is part of fulfilling the covenants we made at baptism and in the temple. We covenanted to take upon us the Savior’s name—becoming as He is as we sacrifice and consecrate our lives to Him. When we minister as He would, we begin to think, feel, and love as He would.” – Kristin M. Yee

Father's Choice

 

"My father always provided me a safe place to land and a hard place from which to launch." – Chelsea Clinton

"Most parents hope their children are happy, funny, well-adjusted and have a passion for something in their lives." – Tom Hanks

"No man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much." – Hedy Lamarr

"I've said it before, but it's absolutely true: My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future." – Liza Minnelli

"I am my father's daughter and not afraid of anything." – Queen Elizabeth II

"A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad." – Steven Spielberg

"Any fool can have a child. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father." – Barack Obama

Four Strawberries

 

In 1969, Carroll Spinney performed at a Puppeteers of America festival in Salt Lake City. He’d put together an ambitious show, combining live actors, puppets and animated backgrounds. The show was ruined by an errant spotlight that washed out the backgrounds. It was a miserable failure and the show just fell apart. Afterwards, Jim Henson came up to Carroll and said, “I liked what you were trying to do.” Jim wanted Carroll to come to New York with him, to play a large yellow bird that was part puppet, part costume. Carroll played both Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch in Sesame Street for over 50 years: 4,400 episodes. Carroll Spinney always said it was his own good fortune to play the two very best Muppets. And he got the chance because somehow, Jim Henson saw something he liked in a show that failed miserably. 

Spooky Moon

 

I learned a new word last week: paronychia. It’s an inflammation of the skin surrounding a fingernail or toenail due to a bacterial or fungal infection. It can occur after excessive or aggressive manicuring. (Not me. My last real manicure was nearly 12 years ago.) It’s often caused by thumb-sucking, nail-biting, or pulling hangnails. (Also, not me.) It can also be caused by trauma, like when you sew through your own finger. (Okay, that might be me.) My finger started hurting about two weeks ago, but I ignored it. I assumed it was because I’d been practicing the piano more than I usually do. But then the fingertip began to swell. My finger started running its own personal fever. A thin, red line appeared near my wrist, indicating the infection was traveling. I visited the doctor, who drained the site and prescribed antibiotics. And just like that, I felt so much better. What did people do before antibiotics?

Sixteen Hit or Miss Blocks

 

In a New Orleans classroom in 1945, sixteen-year-old Gwendolyn was taught Black people were inferior. She knew it was a lie, and spent her whole life dismantling it. At seventeen, Gwendolyn joined the New Orleans Youth Council. She marched, organized, and was arrested. She kept going. In the 1980s, Hall was conducting research when she opened a ledger from the 18^th century. Inside, she found names of hundreds of enslaved Africans, along with important details: origins, skills, and family relationships. Gwendolyn spent years between archives in Louisiana, France, and Spain, pulling fragments together. She built the Louisiana Slave Database: a searchable record of over 107,000 enslaved individuals, documented by name, ethnicity, occupation, family connection, and place of origin. Gwendolyn Midlo Hall died in 2022 at age 93. She began by refusing to accept a lie told in a classroom. She ended having returned names, histories, and dignity to over a hundred thousand people.