Gold Star

 

You know Murphy’s Law. Do you know these?

Parkinson’s Law: “A task always expands to fill the allotted time.”

Hofstadter’s Law: “Everything takes longer than expected, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law."

Hanlon’s Razor: “Don’t attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.”

The Pareto Principle: “Roughly 80% of outcomes result from 20% of causes.”

The Peter Principle: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence.”

Hick’s Law: “The time it takes to make a decision increases logarithmically with the number of choices available.”

Goodhart’s Law: “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.”

The Dunning-Krueger Effect: “People with low ability overestimate their competence, while highly skilled individuals underestimate theirs.”

Occam’s Razor: “Of two competing theories, the simpler explanation is to be preferred.”

Chesterton’s Fence: “Look before you leap; understand before you take action.”

Brook’s Law: “Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.”

Corn and Tomatoes

 

Jeffrey “Roofman” Manchester was born in Sacramento in 1971. After high school, he served in the Army, where he learned weapons handling, rappelling, and several other skills he would use later as a career criminal. Before embarking on his crime spree, Jeffrey was a McDonald’s worker. In November, 1998, he began robbing businesses – most of them McDonald’s locations. He’d start by meticulously casing the joint. Then, late at night or early in the morning, he’d climb to the roof, drill or saw a hole, and enter the building. He’d wait until employees showed up, then hold them at gunpoint and lock them in the freezer while he emptied the cash registers. Jeffrey used this method for up to 60 robberies across the country. He was caught and incarcerated, but escaped prison by hiding in a truck undercarriage. For several months he evaded capture by living in a Toys “R” Us, eating candy and baby food off the shelves.

Twenty Kitty Cats

 

Darius Salem Clement, my third great-grandfather, was eight years old when his father died in New York. His mother took her young children to Nauvoo, and when the Saints abandoned their “City Beautiful,” she followed. She died along with her oldest son and daughter at Winter Quarters, leaving Darius to walk the rest of the way to Zion with his younger brother and sister. I think of them whenever I hear the song, "Pioneer Children." They arrived in the Salt Lake valley in 1848, when Darius was just 14 years old. Darius worked at the Archibald Gardner Mill with his uncle Warren Foote. (Yes, this is the same mill that today houses Archibald’s Restaurant in Gardner Village.) Later, when Warren built his own mill between the Big and Little Cottonwood creeks, Darius worked with him there, too. His grandchildren spoke of him as a quiet man who loved tending his orchard, his garden and his bees.

Four Tomatoes

 

“As we extend Christlike love to each person we serve, our eyes are opened to their divine potential. We begin to see them as the Lord sees them—mortal souls with the capacity to become exalted beings through the Savior’s restoring power and grace. As we care for each soul, we help connect them to the Savior, inviting them to be healed and transformed through His atoning blood. In return, our own lives are blessed—we become more like the Savior and are filled with great joy. My dear brothers and sisters, as one of His special witnesses, I testify that our Savior, Jesus Christ, loves us more than we can ever imagine. In the words of the hymn, ‘For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.’” – Elder Gérald Caussé

Sixteen Leap Frogs

 

George Reynolds, my second great-grandfather, was a nine-year-old boy in England when he met his first Mormon; his grandmother’s maid. He attended the Paddington Branch with her and wanted to be baptized. His family was furious. They sent him to a boarding school in France, but he managed to be baptized at age 14. George was 21 when he was called to serve as George Q. Cannon’s private secretary and emigration clerk of the Liverpool Mission. He made arrangements for thousands of European converts to come to Zion before he was able to make the trip himself. He took a steamer to New York, a train through St. Louis, a river boat to Nebraska City and a stage coach to Denver. The Sioux nation was on the warpath at the time, so George and two companions had to make most of the rest of their journey by mule. They travelled at night, careful not to light any fires, to avoid being seen.

Two Tomatoes

 

My third great grandfather, Henry Weeks Sanderson, was born in Massachusetts in 1829. His parents became converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and moved to Nauvoo in 1843. He wrote in his journal about hearing the news of Joseph Smith’s martyrdom less than a year later. Henry was only 17 when the Saints arrived at Council Bluffs, but he was accepted as a member of the Mormon Battalion in Company D. The battalion made a grueling 2,000-mile march from Iowa to San Diego, helping the U.S. secure much of the American Southwest, and opening a southern wagon route to California. Henry never made it all the way to the coast. He rejoined the Saints in the Salt Lake valley with a detachment of sick soldiers from Pueblo, five days after the original band of pioneers arrived. He was not yet 19. 

United

 

Tomorrow is Pioneer Day, a holiday in Utah, Idaho and Arizona honoring the explorers, homesteaders and refugees who made the intermountain west their home. One of them, John Nebeker, was my third great-grandfather. John was the second of 13 children, born in Delaware in 1813. He and his bride were in their twenties living in Illinois when they met with missionaries and were baptized. Determined to follow the Saints wherever they went, he went to Winter Quarters where he fitted three wagons with oxen and gave them to Brigham Young for the first company to cross the plains. Brother Brigham asked him to stay and help the second company prepare for the journey. John arrived in the valley with the second company September 26, 1847. He cut the first wheat crop harvested in the Intermountain region. His farm was where West High School stands today. Some of John’s children founded Laketown, on the shores of Bear Lake.