Eighteen Leap Frogs

 

Wikipedia calls Centralia, Pennsylvania a “near ghost town,” because it has four residents. In the 1950’s, there were nearly 2,000 people living there. In May, 1962, the borough council hired volunteer firemen to “clear” the town landfill, meaning they were to burn the trash, then put the fire out. The area had been an old strip mine, above a warren of coal mine shafts dating from the 1860’s. There should have been a layer of fireproof clay between the trash and the mines, but someone dropped that ball. In 1979, a service station owner noticed his gas was very hot. A thermometer lowered in the underground tank read 172 degrees. A 12-year-old boy nearly died when a 150-foot sinkhole opened in his grandma’s back yard. Carbon monoxide spewed from the ground. In 1983, Congress allocated $42 million to relocate residents and demolish homes and businesses. It’s estimated the underground fire will continue burning another 200 years.

Green Bat

 

They started showing up the day after July 4th, and now there are displays of Halloween-themed merchandise absolutely everywhere. Halloween is exactly two months away. While there are plenty of minor holidays between now and then, none of them seem to drive consumers to whip out their pocketbooks like the spooky end of October. So, store windows that held red-white-and-blue everything just a few weeks ago are now full of orange, black, purple, and slime green. There’s even a name for this odd phenomenon. It’s called “Summerween.” I think the Disney program “Gravity Falls” coined the term back in 2012. In the show, Summerween fell on June 22nd, and I’m sure die-hard fans still observe that date. But it might be more rewarding to celebrate sometime in August. It’s a great excuse for dragging out your 20-foot skeleton several weeks early. Pumpkins aren’t available just yet, but you could try your hand at carving Jack-o-melons. 

Gold Star

 

You know Murphy’s Law. Do you know these?

Parkinson’s Law: “A task always expands to fill the allotted time.”

Hofstadter’s Law: “Everything takes longer than expected, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law."

Hanlon’s Razor: “Don’t attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.”

The Pareto Principle: “Roughly 80% of outcomes result from 20% of causes.”

The Peter Principle: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence.”

Hick’s Law: “The time it takes to make a decision increases logarithmically with the number of choices available.”

Goodhart’s Law: “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.”

The Dunning-Krueger Effect: “People with low ability overestimate their competence, while highly skilled individuals underestimate theirs.”

Occam’s Razor: “Of two competing theories, the simpler explanation is to be preferred.”

Chesterton’s Fence: “Look before you leap; understand before you take action.”

Brook’s Law: “Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.”

Corn and Tomatoes

 

Jeffrey “Roofman” Manchester was born in Sacramento in 1971. After high school, he served in the Army, where he learned weapons handling, rappelling, and several other skills he would use later as a career criminal. Before embarking on his crime spree, Jeffrey was a McDonald’s worker. In November, 1998, he began robbing businesses – most of them McDonald’s locations. He’d start by meticulously casing the joint. Then, late at night or early in the morning, he’d climb to the roof, drill or saw a hole, and enter the building. He’d wait until employees showed up, then hold them at gunpoint and lock them in the freezer while he emptied the cash registers. Jeffrey used this method for up to 60 robberies across the country. He was caught and incarcerated, but escaped prison by hiding in a truck undercarriage. For several months he evaded capture by living in a Toys “R” Us, eating candy and baby food off the shelves.

Twenty Kitty Cats

 

Darius Salem Clement, my third great-grandfather, was eight years old when his father died in New York. His mother took her young children to Nauvoo, and when the Saints abandoned their “City Beautiful,” she followed. She died along with her oldest son and daughter at Winter Quarters, leaving Darius to walk the rest of the way to Zion with his younger brother and sister. I think of them whenever I hear the song, "Pioneer Children." They arrived in the Salt Lake valley in 1848, when Darius was just 14 years old. Darius worked at the Archibald Gardner Mill with his uncle Warren Foote. (Yes, this is the same mill that today houses Archibald’s Restaurant in Gardner Village.) Later, when Warren built his own mill between the Big and Little Cottonwood creeks, Darius worked with him there, too. His grandchildren spoke of him as a quiet man who loved tending his orchard, his garden and his bees.

Four Tomatoes

 

“As we extend Christlike love to each person we serve, our eyes are opened to their divine potential. We begin to see them as the Lord sees them—mortal souls with the capacity to become exalted beings through the Savior’s restoring power and grace. As we care for each soul, we help connect them to the Savior, inviting them to be healed and transformed through His atoning blood. In return, our own lives are blessed—we become more like the Savior and are filled with great joy. My dear brothers and sisters, as one of His special witnesses, I testify that our Savior, Jesus Christ, loves us more than we can ever imagine. In the words of the hymn, ‘For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.’” – Elder Gérald Caussé

Sixteen Leap Frogs

 

George Reynolds, my second great-grandfather, was a nine-year-old boy in England when he met his first Mormon; his grandmother’s maid. He attended the Paddington Branch with her and wanted to be baptized. His family was furious. They sent him to a boarding school in France, but he managed to be baptized at age 14. George was 21 when he was called to serve as George Q. Cannon’s private secretary and emigration clerk of the Liverpool Mission. He made arrangements for thousands of European converts to come to Zion before he was able to make the trip himself. He took a steamer to New York, a train through St. Louis, a river boat to Nebraska City and a stage coach to Denver. The Sioux nation was on the warpath at the time, so George and two companions had to make most of the rest of their journey by mule. They travelled at night, careful not to light any fires, to avoid being seen.