Birdhouse

 

Charles Cunningham Boycott was born in England in 1832. He was discharged from a military academy after failing exams. His family bought him a commission in the 39th Foot Regiment, but his military career was unremarkable. Charles became a land agent for Lord Erne. Essentially, he was to manage a 629-acre farm in Ireland and collect rent from tenant farmers. In 1880, after a particularly bad harvest, Charles evicted eleven tenants behind on their rent. The community objected. The process server, escorted by 17 policemen, was pelted with manure as he tried to deliver eviction notices. The locals treated Charles as if he had leprosy. His household staff, farm laborers, and stable hands refused to work for him. The shopkeepers in town stopped doing business with him. He even stopped receiving mail. Charles and his family fled to America and changed their name to Cunningham, because “Boycott” had come to mean shun, spurn, and snub.

Twenty-Four Kitty Cats

 

Ignacio Anaya was born in Chihuahua, Mexico in 1895. He worked as a maître d'hotel during the 40’s at the Victory Club, a restaurant near the Mexican/U.S. border. The Club was a popular spot with servicemen, because of its proximity to a U.S. Army base. One day in 1943, a hungry group of Army wives walked in, and the chef was A.W.O.L. Ignacio seated the women and said, “Let me fix something up for you.” He went into the kitchen, picked up tostadas, grated some Wisconsin cheese on top, and put them under the broiler. Once the cheese was golden-brown, he topped his creation with sliced jalapeño. The wives loved the crispy, cheesy dish. They returned often to request “Ignacio’s Special.” In no time at all, the simple recipe showed up in cookbooks and other restaurants, often with additions like meat or beans. Ignacio never patented his creation, but to this day it bears his nickname, “Nachos.”

Striped Heart

 

“Jesus Christ has infinite capacity to forgive, promising that ‘as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.’ Because of Jesus Christ, sins for which we have sincerely repented leave no spiritual scar, track, or trace. There is no scarlet letter to wear, now or in the eternities. When we repent with real intent, the entirety of our sin, not just a part, is figuratively nailed to the cross and we no longer bear its spiritual consequences. After we have repented, we owe no more to justice because Jesus has paid the debt; He pardons us from deserved punishment. We are forgiven, our hearts and hands are made clean, and the Lord remembers our sins no more. The Lord our God is mighty; he will save, and he will rejoice over us.” – Elder Dale G. Renlund

Eighteen Leap Frogs

 

Wikipedia calls Centralia, Pennsylvania a “near ghost town,” because it has four residents. In the 1950’s, there were nearly 2,000 people living there. In May, 1962, the borough council hired volunteer firemen to “clear” the town landfill, meaning they were to burn the trash, then put the fire out. The area had been an old strip mine, above a warren of coal mine shafts dating from the 1860’s. There should have been a layer of fireproof clay between the trash and the mines, but someone dropped that ball. In 1979, a service station owner noticed his gas was very hot. A thermometer lowered in the underground tank read 172 degrees. A 12-year-old boy nearly died when a 150-foot sinkhole opened in his grandma’s back yard. Carbon monoxide spewed from the ground. In 1983, Congress allocated $42 million to relocate residents and demolish homes and businesses. It’s estimated the underground fire will continue burning another 200 years.

Green Bat

 

They started showing up the day after July 4th, and now there are displays of Halloween-themed merchandise absolutely everywhere. Halloween is exactly two months away. While there are plenty of minor holidays between now and then, none of them seem to drive consumers to whip out their pocketbooks like the spooky end of October. So, store windows that held red-white-and-blue everything just a few weeks ago are now full of orange, black, purple, and slime green. There’s even a name for this odd phenomenon. It’s called “Summerween.” I think the Disney program “Gravity Falls” coined the term back in 2012. In the show, Summerween fell on June 22nd, and I’m sure die-hard fans still observe that date. But it might be more rewarding to celebrate sometime in August. It’s a great excuse for dragging out your 20-foot skeleton several weeks early. Pumpkins aren’t available just yet, but you could try your hand at carving Jack-o-melons. 

Gold Star

 

You know Murphy’s Law. Do you know these?

Parkinson’s Law: “A task always expands to fill the allotted time.”

Hofstadter’s Law: “Everything takes longer than expected, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law."

Hanlon’s Razor: “Don’t attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.”

The Pareto Principle: “Roughly 80% of outcomes result from 20% of causes.”

The Peter Principle: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence.”

Hick’s Law: “The time it takes to make a decision increases logarithmically with the number of choices available.”

Goodhart’s Law: “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.”

The Dunning-Krueger Effect: “People with low ability overestimate their competence, while highly skilled individuals underestimate theirs.”

Occam’s Razor: “Of two competing theories, the simpler explanation is to be preferred.”

Chesterton’s Fence: “Look before you leap; understand before you take action.”

Brook’s Law: “Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.”

Corn and Tomatoes

 

Jeffrey “Roofman” Manchester was born in Sacramento in 1971. After high school, he served in the Army, where he learned weapons handling, rappelling, and several other skills he would use later as a career criminal. Before embarking on his crime spree, Jeffrey was a McDonald’s worker. In November, 1998, he began robbing businesses – most of them McDonald’s locations. He’d start by meticulously casing the joint. Then, late at night or early in the morning, he’d climb to the roof, drill or saw a hole, and enter the building. He’d wait until employees showed up, then hold them at gunpoint and lock them in the freezer while he emptied the cash registers. Jeffrey used this method for up to 60 robberies across the country. He was caught and incarcerated, but escaped prison by hiding in a truck undercarriage. For several months he evaded capture by living in a Toys “R” Us, eating candy and baby food off the shelves.