Halloween Bats

 

Ben Cooper was born in New York’s lower east side in 1906. He founded a theatrical costume business in 1927. When the Great Depression hit, the theater was one of the first casualties. Ben switched his focus from the stage to Halloween. He obtained a license to produce costumes based on Disney characters like Mickey Mouse and Snow White. By the late 1940s, Ben Cooper, Inc. was the one of the largest children’s Halloween costume manufacturers in the U.S. Their costumes were plastic masks with eye holes paired with thin fabric sacks with neck and arm holes. The sacks were silk-screen printed with Halloween figures like skeletons, or television characters like Superman and Davy Crockett. They were inexpensive, one-size-fits-all, and sold literally everywhere. The company took a hit in 1982, when the Tylenol tampering murders all but cancelled Halloween. In 1989 Ben Cooper’s Georgia facility burned to the ground, and their insurance companies refused payment. Ben Cooper, Inc. was dissolved in 1992.

Two Double Four-Patch Blocks

 

The Civil War had raged for over a year; the Union navy blockaded much of the Atlantic and Gulf coasts. The Confederacy had dug in deep, defending coastal waters. After two weeks of supplying island forts, the C.S.S. Planter had just returned to Charleston. She was due to head out again next morning, so the steamer was armed to the teeth. The ship’s three officers spent the night ashore, leaving eight remaining crewmen – all slaves – on board. In the dead of night, Robert Smalls, the wheelman, slipped the Planter off the dock. He and his skeleton crew picked up family members at a prearranged spot. Disguised as the captain, Robert gave the proper signal codes to pass confederate checkpoints. Once they reached open waters, he hoisted a white flag and surrendered to the Union fleet. The heavily armed Confederate ship was handed over to the North. All aboard were freed, and the crew were (eventually) rewarded.

Six Bats

 

These things seem to come in waves. I actually know a few people dealing with it right now. If you suspect you're a victim of food poisoning, there are some things to keep in mind. First, you shouldn’t head to the medicine cabinet. Your body’s response to a harmful foodborne pathogen is to flush it out. Medicines for diarrhea or upset stomach will only interfere with this effort. Until the worst is over, you’ll want to give your stomach a break from food. Instead, sip clear liquids like water, ginger or mint tea, non-caffeinated soft drinks or chicken broth to keep hydrated while you wait for the storm to pass. Sports drinks with electrolytes are a good idea, too. When you’re ready for more, you can add bland, easily digested foods to your diet, like bananas, egg whites, oatmeal, dry toast, saltines, applesauce, mashed potatoes, gelatin, and rice. Once you’re starting to feel more like yourself again, you’ll want to spend a week or so restoring your intestinal flora with probiotics or natural yogurt.  

Dragon's Head

 

Thoughts on marriage, from Red Skelton:

Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays; I go Fridays.

We sleep in separate beds.  Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.  I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!”

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

Five Pumpkins

 

Scotties are terriers, bred to keep the area clear of vermin like rats and mice. But ours thinks she’s a herd dog. She frequently tries to keep the grandkids in line, with mixed results. But she’s at her most entertaining when she tries to show the cat who’s boss. That’s right. I have a dog who herds cats. It started on a morning when we were expecting the cleaners to come. I always put all the pets in their kennels while the house is being cleaned, but the cat had anticipated this and was hiding. Lassie found her under the bed and set to barking. When she realized I couldn’t crawl under and grab her, she forced the cat out and into the kennel. She does the same thing when the cat creeps under the deck in the back garden. And every night at bedtime, she trees the cat on the railing atop the staircase. Because she can.

Teddy Bear

 

“Our eternal purpose is to come unto Christ and actively join Him in His great work. And when we do His work together with Him, we come to know and love Him more. We continually seek to draw closer to the Savior through faith, cherished repentance, and keeping the commandments. As we bind ourselves to Him through covenants and ordinances, our lives are filled with confidence, protection, and deep and lasting joy. As we come to Him, we see others through His eyes. Come unto Christ. Come now, but don’t come alone! The gospel of Jesus Christ is not just nice; it is essential for all. There is no other way or means whereby we can be saved, only in and through Christ. We need Jesus Christ! The world needs Jesus Christ. Remember, the best way for you to improve the world is to prepare the world for Christ by inviting all to follow Him.” – Bonnie H. Cordon

Four Pumpkins

 

Twenty-one years ago tomorrow, an unidentified man approached security guards at the Salt Lake City-County Building. He said he was an architecture student, there to take photos from the highest tower. Instead of photography equipment, his duffle bag was full of climbing gear and one large pumpkin. Unseen by the guards, he left his gourd skewered atop Columbia, the topmost statue on the building. The pumpkin stayed there through the fall and most of the winter, until it gradually thawed, rotted and fell. Whoever the prankster was, he may have been inspired by a similar feat at Cornell University in 1997. Cornell made plans to remove the spoiled pumpkin March 13, 1998. But as preparations were underway, a gust of wind knocked the unmanned cherry picker bucket into the tower. The rotten pumpkin dropped twenty feet and splattered on a scaffold. Neither of the culprits were caught. They may even have been the same guy.

Three Bats on Point

 

It all began about 90 years ago, with a fruitcake recipe that called for a can of tomato soup. In 1942, it became a Halloween spice cake. There were several adaptations in the 50’s to get the texture just right. In 1960, the recipe was printed on the back of the Campbell's soup can. No, you really can’t taste the “secret” ingredient. But you don’t have to take my word for it.

 

Tomato Soup Spice Cake

 

1 box (about 18 ounces) spice cake mix

1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell’s condensed tomato soup

1/2 cup water

2 eggs

 

Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease and flour 9x13” pan. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl; beat vigorously by hand for two minutes. Pour into prepared pan and bake 28 to 33 minutes, until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely and frost with homemade or store-bought cream cheese frosting. Serves 12.

Pumpkin

 

Two weeks ago, Heather’s Special Needs Activity Program class painted pumpkins and brought them home. When hers was dry, she flipped it upside down and showed me a sticker on the bottom – a recipe for pumpkin pie. We washed the paint off (It was probably nontoxic, but better safe than sorry), roasted and mashed it, and it became a lovely pie. We reserved the pumpkin seeds, boiled them a few minutes in salted water, and spread them on paper towels to dry. Then we tossed them with a bit of olive oil (Peanut, coconut, and walnut oils are good, too). We spread the seeds out on a baking sheet, sprinkled them with seasoning, and roasted them until they just started to turn brown on the edges. The seasoning we used was Tajin, the chili-lime they sprinkle on mangoes at Disneyland. But we’ve used taco seasoning in the past, and I’m told harissa powder is good, too.

Four Corners Star

 

The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. Likewise, the best time to become fully vaccinated against COVID-19 is months ago. But if you haven’t done it yet, there’s no time like the present. The vaccines are safe, effective and free. It’s really in your best interest (and everyone else’s) to get this done as soon as possible, unless you just had a flu shot. Then, you should wait two weeks. Some people feel a bit achy or feverish after an inoculation, so it’s good to have aspirin or ibuprofen on hand (just don’t take it preemptively). Wear a shirt with short or loose sleeves that are easy to roll up. Be sure to eat and drink before you get your shot, and don’t plan a marathon, a blood donation, or anything else strenuous for immediately after. Your immune system will be getting a workout. The rest of your body should be taking it easy.

Five Sunflowers

 

This year summer stretched lazily well into autumn, before ending rather abruptly. So, I guess this sort of thing was inevitable. I was shopping and happened to notice a young woman who’d dressed for several degrees more than we were getting that day. He clothes were very fashionable. She wore denim jeans that covered her from waist to ankle – in the back. But in front they were carefully shredded from her panty line to her feet. Her tiny T-shirt left a gap for her muffin top, and there was an oval cutout over each shoulder. She was freezing – blue lips, chattering teeth, stamping feet, the whole deal. I wanted so badly to say: if you want clothes to keep you warm, they should probably cover more of you than your underwear does. I think that’s why those shirts are called “cold shoulders.” It’s like a little clue. I didn’t tell her. She’ll figure it out. Eventually.

Bat on Point

 

“It has been said that the gospel of Jesus Christ is simply beautiful and beautifully simple. The world is not. It is complicated, complex, and filled with turmoil and strife. We are blessed as we exercise care not to allow complexity, so common in the world, to enter into the way we receive and practice the gospel. President Dallin H. Oaks observed: ‘We are taught many small and simple things in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We need to be reminded that in total and over a significant period of time, those seemingly small things bring to pass great things.’ Jesus Christ Himself describes that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. We should all strive to keep the gospel simple—in our lives, in our families, in our classes and quorums, and in our wards and stakes.” – Elder Gary E. Stevenson

Right Hand of Friendship

 

Maria Mitchell was born the third of ten children in Nantucket in 1818. Her mother was a librarian and her father a schoolteacher and amateur astronomer. Both her parents were Quakers who believed in educating their daughters as well as their sons. Nantucket was a tiny island whose economy relied on whaling; most of the men would be away for months at a time. Maria grew up with many strong, independent women as role models. Her father taught her to use chronometers, sextants, and telescopes. When she was 29, Maria discovered a comet using a two-inch telescope. She was awarded a gold medal by the king of Denmark, and became the first woman elected to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. One of the craters on the moon is named for Maria Mitchell. She’s quoted as saying, “When we are chafed and fretted by small cares, a look at the stars will show us the littleness of our own interests.”

Three Bats

 

When we moved next to the wetlands, it was a very different place. There were three ponds: one full of cattails, red-wing blackbirds and bullfrogs; a deep one surrounded by ancient cottonwoods; and a wide one where kingfishers, pelicans, and blue herons caught their lunch. Bats and mud swallows darted about after dusk, keeping the mosquito population in check. The cattail pond is gone now; a victim of invasive species and drought. A pair of beavers wiped out the old cottonwoods. For the past few summers, yellow algae have killed off most of the fish. I guess the fisher birds found other places to grab lunch. Even the swallows seem to be dining elsewhere. But we still have bats. You spot them well after sunset, just as it begins to get too dark to see. I, for one, am really glad they’re still feasting on our mosquitos. If not, the chief item on the menu here would be me. 

Four Sunflowers

 

How to Tell You’re an Adult:

You can gain thirty pounds overnight.

You’d rather get a good night’s sleep than go out.

You buy your own toothpaste and underwear. And you pay for them.

Everything hurts, all the time.

You start cushioning all vacations with an extra day off for “recovery time.”

You prefer comfort over style.

You find yourself looking forward to trips to Ikea and Home Depot.

You have a favorite spatula.

Everything you do feels like a chore.

Binge-watching an entire series in a day no longer feels like an accomplishment.

Getting your second leg into your underwear without loosing your balance DOES feel like an accomplishment.

College students suddenly look like they’re twelve years old.

You choose what to do Saturday night based on how you’ll feel Sunday morning.

You’re always annoyed at something.

You finally understand what your parents meant when they said, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Nine Ovens

 

Hawaiian Macaroni Salad

 

2 cups half-and-half

2 cups mayonnaise

2 tablespoons grated yellow onion

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 teaspoon freshy ground black pepper

1 teaspoon coarse sea salt

1 pound elbow macaroni

1/4 cup cider vinegar

5 green onions, thinly sliced

2 large celery ribs, thinly sliced

1 cup grated carrots

1 cup peas (optional)

 

In a medium bowl, whisk together first six ingredients; cover and chill. Cook macaroni until just past al dente stage. Drain and return to warm pot. Stir in vinegar. Cover and allow to rest 20 minutes. Stir in half the dressing. Cover and rest another 20 minutes. Stir in remaining ingredients and dressing. Chill at least two hours before serving.

Sunflower

 

Helium was the first element NOT to be discovered on earth. It was found on the sun in 1868 using a spectroscope during a total eclipse. Our sun produces some 700 million tons of helium per second. Helium wasn’t found on earth until 1895. It is the second most abundant element in the galaxy, but on our planet, it’s pretty rare. Because it’s the galaxy’s second lightest element, earth’s gravity isn’t strong enough to hold it here. We find helium in pockets in the earth’s crust, alongside natural gas. Qatar currently supplies 30% of the world’s helium. We use it for party balloons, but also for MRI machines, deep-dive tanks, NASA space launches, computer chip manufacturing, and arc welding. It’s not really a renewable resource (unless we find a way to harvest it from our sun), and it’s been estimated that the earth will run out of helium in thirty years or less. 

Bat

 

“We, of course, affirm that the scriptures, ancient and modern, clearly teach the origin and need for a church directed by and with the authority of our Lord, Jesus Christ. We also testify that the restored Church of Jesus Christ has been established to teach the fulness of His doctrine and to officiate with His priesthood authority to perform the ordinances necessary to enter the kingdom of God. Members who forgo Church attendance and rely only on individual spirituality separate themselves from these gospel essentials: the power and blessings of the priesthood, the fulness of restored doctrine, and the motivations and opportunities to apply that doctrine. They forfeit their opportunity to qualify to perpetuate their family for eternity. Another great advantage of the restored Church is that it helps us grow spiritually. Growth means change. In spiritual terms this means repenting and seeking to draw nearer to the Lord.” - President Dallin H. Oaks

Six Ovens

 

Curried Squash Soup

 

1 butternut squash, about 3 pounds, seeded and quartered

2 shallots, sliced in half

3 garlic cloves

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 (14-ounce) can coconut milk

Zest of one lime

Juice from one lime

2 teaspoons fresh grated ginger

1 tablespoon red curry paste

1 cup (or more) vegetable broth

 

Preheat oven to 400F. Arrange squash, shallots and garlic on baking dish; drizzle with oil. Cover with foil and roast 40 minutes. Scoop flesh from squash and process with garlic and shallots in blender until smooth. Blend in remaining five ingredients, along with enough broth to reach desired consistency. Serve while still warm. 

Four Baskets

 

I often find these odd sentences while reading headlines aloud. They’re called “Garden Path” sentences, because they're misleading. For a second or two, you think they’re grammatically incorrect, and then you realize the error was yours. A classic example of this is, “The old man the boat.” When you see the first three words, you assume “man” is the subject, and there is no verb. But really, “man” is the verb. The subject is “old.” Here are some more:

The horse raced past the barn fell.

The florist sent the flowers was pleased.

The cotton clothing is made of grows in Mississippi.

We painted the wall with cracks.

The man who hunts ducks out on weekends.

When Fred eats food gets thrown.

Mary gave the child the dog bit a Band-Aid.

The girl told the story cried.

Fat people eat accumulates.

That Jill is never here hurts.

The man who whistles tunes pianos.

Five Apples

 

In 2002, nineteen-year-old Michael Carroll, a part-time binman (garbage collector) from Norfolk won £9,736,131 in the National Lottery. He tried opening a bank account, but was refused because of a teenage shoplifting conviction. He set up a £3.9 million investment bond, and was meant to live off the interest it generated. But that would have taken more self-restraint than Michael possessed. He began using the principle within a year, and huge penalty fees were deducted. Michael gave lavish gifts to friends and family, bought new homes, drugs, parties, jewelry and cars. When bored, he staged amateur demolition derbies or launched steel balls from a catapult at nearby cars and businesses. In no time at all, the money was gone. In 2010, he reapplied for his old job as a binman. He has no regrets about the way he spent his winnings. These days, Michael bikes everywhere (he’s banned from driving) and works in a cookie factory. 

Basket

 

This week I learned about RAS Syndrome. It’s a phrase that uses an acronym (or another initialism) along with one or more of the words that make up an acronym (or other initialism). One example of this is ATM machine. Since ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine, we really don’t need to add the word “machine” at the end of it. When someone refers to a PIN number or VIN number, that’s redundant, too. PIN is an abbreviation for Personal Identification Number, and VIN means Vehicle Identification Number. So why do we add the word “number”? Some other RAS Syndrome victims include: LCD (Liquid Crystal Display) Display, OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries) Countries, UPC (Universal Product Code) Code, HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) Virus and DC (Detective Comics) Comics. Since RAS stands for Redundant Acronym Syndrome, the term RAS Syndrome is itself an example of RAS Syndrome.

Nine Pinwheels

 

People have been brushing their teeth with concoctions meant to keep them clean and healthy for a long, long time. Ancient Egyptians used a mixture of crushed rock salt, mint, dried iris flowers and pepper. No, really. It sounds unpleasant, but it was probably pretty effective – maybe even more effective than what you used this morning. Toothpaste is very foamy. All those little bubbles leave you with the impression you’ve cleaned your teeth well when you haven’t. The minty flavor numbs your tongue so you feel cleaner than you really are. That long, wavy blob you see covering the bristles in toothpaste commercials? It’s WAY more toothpaste than you need. You should be using a blot no bigger than a pea. Better yet, dry brush until you feel and taste clean, then brush with a dot of toothpaste, and rinse. And if you want to avoid bad breath, remember to brush your tongue.

Red/Black Lady of the Lake

 

“The gospel is simply beautiful and beautifully simple. The world is not. It is complicated, complex, and filled with turmoil and strife. We are blessed as we exercise care not to allow complexity, so common in the world, to enter into the way we receive and practice the gospel.” – Gary E. Stevenson

“Love of God is the first great commandment in the universe. But the first great truth in the universe is that God loves us exactly that way now—wholeheartedly, without reservation or compromise, with all of His heart, might, mind, strength.” – Jeffrey R. Holland

“Some people argue that Jesus ‘loves me just as I am’ and that is certainly true. But he cannot take any of us into his kingdom just as we are, ‘for no unclean thing can dwell there, or dwell in his presence.’ Our sins must first be resolved.” – D. Todd Christofferson

Four Ovens

 

“The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturizer? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind. To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.” – Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

Blue/Green Lady of the Lake

 

In 1985, Keith Byrne (age ten) and his best friend Noel Murray (thirteen) were bored with Dublin and ready for adventure. Their favorite American TV show was “The A-Team,” and they dreamed of meeting their favorite actor, Mr. T. So, they cooked up a plot as bold and implausible as anything they’d seen on the telly. As they went out to play, Keith’s mum said, “Don’t go too far, dinner’s almost ready.” Keith promised not to. Keith lied. They took the Dart to Dún Laoghaire and then sneaked onto a ferry to Holyhead. They dodged ticket checkers on the train to London. Before long they were at Heathrow Airport with nothing in their pockets but coins they’d nicked from a fountain. They got on a flight to New York by telling security their parents were behind them. They weren’t caught until they asked a New York cop for directions. Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?