Indian Matt

Elder Ronnie Kyammbadde served in the England Manchester Mission. After returning home to Uganda, he kept in touch with Paul Simcock in the Chorley Stake. Ronnie told Paul several people in his home ward didn’t attend church because they didn’t feel they had any “respectable clothing.” With the approval of their stake president, the Simcocks launched a stake-wide appeal for new or gently used Sunday best clothing for all ages. The response was enthusiastic. Some sisters sewed brightly colored dresses for young girls, complete with hand-crocheted teddy bears tucked in their pockets. Over a thousand items were shipped to the Ugandan ward. Additional funds were raised to cover the import duty. When the extra money proved unnecessary, Paul told Ronnie to use it to buy food that his bishop could give to those in need. Brother Simcock said, “Unknown to us there were people who’d been praying hard because they had nothing to eat.” But, of course, their Heavenly Father knew.

Good Cookin'

This is the thirteenth year I’ve competed in the Utah State Fair Quilt Challenge. The other twelve quilts are all on display in my house, along with the ribbons they’ve won. When I hung them, I hoped they’d remind me of how far I’ve come since my first challenge quilt. To compete, each quilt must be 30x30” or smaller, and use at least 198 square inches of that year’s challenge fabric. Each quilt must be the work of one person – the design, the piecing or applique, the quilting and the finish work. Every year I try to add something new to my quilting repertoire, just so I can keep up with my competition. This year I’d hoped to incorporate machine embroidery and curved binding into the design, but things didn’t work out quite the way I’d planned. I do hope the judges see something good in my finished product. At the moment, I can only see what it isn’t.

Twenty Nine-Patch Islands

I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven’s door,

Not by the beauty of it all, nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp;

The garden club gossips, the thieves, the liars and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice.

Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice.

Bob, who I always thought was rotting away in hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, “What’s the deal? I'd love to hear Your take.

How’d all these sinners get up here? God must have made a mistake.

And why is everyone so quiet, so somber - give me a clue.”

“Hush, child,” He said, “they are in shock. No one thought they’d be seeing you.”

-          David J. Nixon

Kodiak Star

Annah Anderson and her three young daughters were enjoying a backyard pool party at their home in Wasilla, Alaska. Suddenly an unexpected intruder crashed the party and sent them all running for shelter. Apparently unaware (or perhaps unconcerned) that he hadn’t been invited, a large moose sauntered casually through the yard and helped himself to the girls’ taco lunches. At one point the moose even pushed aside an inflatable killer whale to drink from the kiddie pool while Annah recorded his antics on video. Then, as quickly and quietly as he’d come, the moose disappeared back into the surrounding woods. Obviously, he’s the sort of moose that lives by that age-old code of the forest: leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but tacos.

Sixteen Nine-Patch Islands

Jamie Bisceglia was competing in a salmon fishing derby in the Tacoma Narrows earlier this month, when she saw a fellow fisherman had hooked a small octopus. The derby included a photo competition, and Jamie suddenly had an idea. She put the live octopus on her face for the camera. “Crazy me,” she says, “Looking back, I probably made a big mistake.” The unhappy sea creature grabbed her cheeks with its suckers and sank its beak into her chin – hard. Pacific red octopi have a powerful bite and use venom to immobilize their prey and to discourage predators. The venom caused Jamie a lot of pain, but she fished for two more days before heading to the emergency room. She’s on three different antibiotics now. What became of the biting octopus? Jamie took it home, of course, where she cooked it and ate it. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Diamond Star

“If all you or I know about Jesus Christ and His restored gospel is what other people teach or tell us, then the foundation of our testimony of Him and His glorious latter-day work is built upon sand. We cannot rely exclusively upon or borrow gospel light and knowledge from other people—even those whom we love and trust. Significantly, the Prophet Joseph Smith taught that each Latter-day Saint needs to understand for himself or herself the designs and purposes of God in our coming into the world. Could we read and comprehend all that has been written from the days of Adam, on the relation of man to God and angels in a future state, we should know very little about it. Reading the experience of others can never give us a comprehensive view of our condition and true relation to God. Knowledge of these things can only be obtained by experience through the ordinances of God set forth for that purpose.” - Elder David A. Bednar

Thirteen Nine-patch Islands

James Murray Spangler was an asthmatic janitor in Ohio in 1908. He suspected his carpet sweeper exacerbated his condition, and set out to fix the problem. With an electric fan, a soap box and a broom handle he invented the vacuum cleaner. Spangler gave one to his cousin, Susan Troxel Hoover. Her husband William Henry bought Spangler out; or we might all be “Spanglering” our carpets today. My British friends call it “Hoovering,” though nearly everyone uses Dysons. Here’s why: in 1992, to sell surplus vacuums, the British Hoover company offered free European airfare to anyone spending £100 or more. The promotion worked so well they upped the ante with tickets to the U.S. Suddenly vacuums were flying off the shelves. Hoover had to shell out for pricey overseas trips and for overtime for factory workers. When they balked, the whole thing became a public relations nightmare and the market was flooded with unused second-hand Hoovers. Talk about being taken to the cleaners!

Four-Leaf Clover

When we visited Saint Petersburg nine years ago, we were surprised to find a Domino’s Pizza. We shouldn’t have been. Russians love pizza, and there are actually three busy Domino’s pizzerias in that city alone. Last summer the Russian branch of Domino’s promised a certificate worth 100 free pizzas a year for 100 years to anyone willing to tattoo their logo “in a prominent place.” The promotion was supposed to last two months, until last Halloween. Domino’s assumed very few people would be crazy enough to suffer the pain and indignity of permanently becoming a walking advertisement. They were wrong. Within a few days hundreds of freshly inked volunteers began queuing for their free pizzas. Domino’s had to bring an early end to the promotion before it drove them out of business. I have to assume that for a short while last summer, Russia’s tattoo parlors were doing very, very well.

Nine Nine-patch Islands

Francis and Rosemary Klontz will celebrate their sixty-eighth wedding anniversary this month. When people ask them how they’ve stayed together for so long, they say the answer is simple: coordinated outfits. Rosemary’s mom bought them matching T-shirts when they were high school sweethearts, and they’ve been wearing clothes that match ever since. Every. Single. Day. Francis says he just lets Rosemary decide what they’ll wear: “She just lays it out for me, and I don’t have to worry about a thing!” Before they retired, Francis and Rosemary both served as pastors at the First Presbyterian church in Laidlaw, Oregon. They explain that sharing their faith has helped them stay together all these years.  “You put Jesus first, others second, and you last. That’s the way you spell JOY,” Rosemary says.

Tiny Teal Heart

It has recently come to my attention that I own seventy-three coffee mugs. That’s probably more than I need, especially when you consider that I never, ever drink coffee. Most of my mugs were Christmas gifts, Mother’s Day gifts and birthday gifts bought at the Disney Store by friends and family who know I love all things Disney. Several came with the dishes I use every day. Seven of them are scattered around the house, holding useful things like pens and pencils. It seemed a little ridiculous to be collecting so many of something I have so little use for. So, a few days ago I separated some to donate to good will. Four. I got rid of four coffee mugs. Now I only have sixty-nine and I feel so much better. It may be time to look at my teacups. Although I never use them for black tea, green tea, Earl Grey or oolong, I own fifty-three.

Four Nine-Patch Islands

A recent Red Robin/OnePoll survey of school-aged (6 through 17) children revealed most of them would appreciate more opportunities to bond with their parents. Here’s what they wish they could do more often with Mom and Dad:

1. Visit the beach

2. Exercise

3. Play sports

4. Go swimming

5. Go to the movies

6. Play at a park

7. Camp

8. Take a trip to a zoo, museum, or amusement park

9. Play video games together

10. Go shopping

11. Dine out

12. Go hiking or camping

13. Attend a sporting event or concert

14. Take a road trip together

15. Watch movies at home

16. Prepare a meal together

17. Eat meals together at home

18. Play board games or card games

19. Create arts and crafts

20. Do homework or school projects together

It’s not a bad list. As it happens, these are all things I wish I could do more often with the people I love, too.

Another Montpelier

“As you exercise a little faith and begin your walk as a peaceable follower of our Lord Jesus Christ, your heart will change. Your whole being will be filled with light. God will help you become something greater than you ever thought possible. And you will discover that the gospel of Jesus Christ is indeed working in your life. It works. It Works! Brothers and sisters, dear friends, I pray that we will focus on the simplicity that is in Christ and allow His grace to lift and carry us during our journey from where we are now to our glorious destiny in our Father’s presence. As we do so and someone asks us, ‘How is being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints working for you?’ We will be able to say with pride, in all humility, and with great joy, ‘It works wonderfully! Thank you for asking! Would you like to know more?’” – President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Nine-Patch Island

Show me a cat owner who claims his feline companion comes when he calls, and I’ll show you a liar. Or perhaps someone who’s in the habit of carrying bits of tuna around in his pockets. I’ve long suspected the reason Felis Catus won’t come on demand has nothing to do with whether or not she knows her own name. I’m not alone. A group of researchers in Japan recently tested the theory by playing audio recordings of cats’ owners and total strangers saying the pets’ names and words that sound similar. Most of the cats reacted when their names were spoken by turning their heads or perking up their ears. Of course, none of them reacted by moving toward the speaker. So now you know. If you call your cat and she doesn’t come, it’s not because she doesn’t know that you're calling her. She’s just ignoring you.

Four Blueberry Patches

Five benefits of sewing:

Stress relief

Sewing encourages mindfulness and reduces stress and anxiety. The meditative action of sewing encourages positivity and feelings of relaxation. Being forced to concentrate on one particular task enables you to become immersed in a situation and truly unwind.

Improved hand-eye coordination

If you’re keen to enhance your motor skills, sewing does just that; especially hand-eye-coordination. The attention to detail that sewing requires encourages coordination and relieves physical issues such as back pain.

Brain growth

Sewing requires creativity, which improves the brain’s ability to grow new brain cells. As mental deterioration is a result of lost connection between neurons, sewing promotes mental growth.

Happiness

Like other craft activities, sewing increases dopamine in the brain, which makes us feel more positive.

It fights dementia

Sewing makes you remember specific steps. It works the brain and keeps the mind clear, focused and active. This can help prevent dementia as you grow older. – from MiNDFOOD

Four Rocky Mountain Chains

“Hiking – I don't like either the word or the thing. People ought to saunter in the mountains - not 'hike!' Do you know the origin of that word saunter? It's a beautiful word. Away back in the middle ages people used to go on pilgrimages to the Holy Land, and when people in the villages through which they passed asked where they were going they would reply, 'A la sainte terre', 'To the Holy Land.' And so they became known as sainte-terre-ers or saunterers. Now these mountains are our Holy Land, and we ought to saunter through them reverently, not 'hike' through them.” – John Muir (1838-1914) naturalist, author, environmental philosopher, glaciologist, and early advocate for the preservation of wilderness in the United States of America

Blueberry Christmas

The daytime highs hovered around 100 degrees for weeks – too hot for tomato plants to produce much at all. But the temperatures are finally dropping, and it looks like there will be plenty of fat heirloom tomatoes soon. I’ll eat a few straight off the vine. I might can some, but right now I’m craving this:

Homemade Tomato Juice

3 pounds very ripe garden tomatoes, cored and chopped

1 1/4 cups chopped celery with leaves

1/3 cup chopped onion

A tablespoon or two sugar (to taste)

1 teaspoon salt

Pinch black pepper

A few drops of Cholula or Tabasco (to taste)

Put all ingredients into a large stainless steel (not aluminum) pot. Bring to a simmer and cook, uncovered, until mixture is soupy, about 25 minutes. Run mixture through a food mill. Cool completely. Store covered and chilled. Store in refrigerator and use within a week.

Checkerboard

I’m still gluten free - mostly. I find I can tolerate whole wheat better than refined white flour, and semolina isn’t a problem. I don’t bake much in the summer, but this treat may be worth firing up the oven:

Peanut Butter Blondies

2/3 cup peanut butter (Just roasted peanuts and sea salt)

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1/2 cup REAL maple syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/3 cup + 1 tbsp coconut flour

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350F. Line 8x8 pan with parchment and cooking spray. In a large bowl, mix peanut butter, eggs, maple syrup and vanilla. In a small bowl combine coconut flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Pour dry ingredients into wet and mix until well combined. Add chocolate chips. Spoon into prepared pan and bake 18-20 minutes or until the edges start to brown. Cool before cutting.

Blueberry Patch

“With the blessings of modern technology, we can express gratitude and joy about God’s great plan for His children in a way that can be heard not only around our workplace but around the world. Sometimes a single phrase of testimony can set events in motion that affect someone’s life for eternity. The most effective way to preach the gospel is through example. If we live according to our beliefs, people will notice. If the countenance of Jesus Christ shines in our lives, if we are joyful and at peace with the world, people will want to know why. One of the greatest sermons ever pronounced on missionary work is this simple thought attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi: ‘Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.’ Opportunities to do so are all around us. Do not miss them by waiting too long on the road to Damascus.” – President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Montpelier Christmas

In 1988 Brian Sibley accepted – with serious misgivings – the job of interviewing Roald Dahl. He’d heard the children’s book author could be difficult. “If he doesn’t like you or your line of questioning, you can find yourself being shown the door quicker than you can say “Oompah-Loompas!” But the interview turned out much better than he’d imagined. They chatted for over an hour and a half over whisky, chocolates and lunch. Here’s one of my favorite excerpts:

Roald Dahl: “I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I'll put it before any of the things like courage or bravery or generosity or anything else.”

Brian Sibley: “Or brains even?”

Roald Dahl: “Oh gosh, yes, brains is one of the least. You can be a lovely person without brains, absolutely lovely. Kindness - that simple word. To be kind - it covers everything, to my mind. If you're kind that's it.”

Barbara Fritchie

According the 1863 John Greenleaf Whittier poem that carries her name, 90-year-old Barbara Fritchie was a union supporter who shouted “Shoot if you must this old gray head, but spare your country's flag” at occupying confederate general “Stonewall” Jackson during the American civil war. The poem also relates the general’s response: “Who touches a hair of yon gray head Dies like a dog! March on!” It’s lovely poetry; easy to memorize and fun to recite. But it’s also (like so many poems we’ve used to teach American history) probably a work of fiction. There was an elderly widow named Barbara Fritchie living in Frederick, Maryland during the time in question. She was known to wave the union flag. But there are no firsthand accounts of the event. When the poem was published, both Fritchie and Jackson were deceased, so neither of them could confirm or deny its authenticity. I suppose that’s why they call it “poetic license.”

Montpelier Block

Dear Ann Landers: I recall you printed a humorous column some time ago explaining communism, socialism and fascism. Will you please print it again? – A Teacher in Mississippi

Dear Mississippi Teacher: Thank you for asking. It's an "oldie," but a "goldie." Here it is:

Socialism: You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they may give you some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government, and the government sells it.

Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.

Anarchism: You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.

Capitalism: You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonica lessons.

Four Autrey Squares

Down the lanes of August—and the bees upon the wing,

All the world's in color now, and all the song birds sing;

Never reds will redder be, more golden be the gold,

Down the lanes of August, and the summer getting old.

Mother Nature's brushes now with paints are dripping wet,

Gorgeous is her canvas with the tints we can't forget;

Here's a yellow wheat field—purple asters there,

Riotous the colors that she's splashing everywhere.

Red the cheeks of apples and pink the peaches' bloom,

Redolent the breezes with the sweetness of perfume;

Everything is beauty crowned by skies of clearest blue,

Mother Earth is at her best once more for me and you.

Down the lanes of August with her blossoms at our feet,

Rich with gold and scarlet, dripping wet with honey sweet.

Rich or poor, no matter, here are splendors spread

Down the lanes of August, for all who wish to tread.

-          Edgar A. Guest

Nine Grandmother's Fans

The first time I saw them, I couldn’t stop staring. They were so WEIRD. We were grabbing movie treats at the Sheffield cinema, and the fellow queued in front of us was wearing shoes with separate cubbies for each of his toes. Vibram has been making their FiveFinger shoes since 2005, and there are several competitors with similar products for hikers, walkers and runners. I’m told they provide greater dexterity and a more natural stride. I find myself wondering if Vibram got the idea from the prop shoes Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, and Dominic Monaghan wore in 2001’s Fellowship of the Ring to look like they had big hairy Hobbit feet. August 6 is Wiggle Your Toes Day, a holiday that appeared on the scene in the early 2000’s, just like the Lord of the Rings movies and shoes with toe pockets. I plan to celebrate by going barefoot, just like I do nearly every other day.

Four This and That Blocks

“Addressing a general conference, Elder Quentin L. Cook correctly pointed out, ‘There are some who feel venting their personal anger or deeply held opinions is more important than conducting themselves as Jesus Christ lived and taught. How we disagree is a real measure of who we are and whether we follow the Savior. It is appropriate to disagree, but it is not appropriate to be disagreeable. If we show love and respect even in adverse circumstances, we become more like Christ.’ I will not attempt to speak for your church, but I will speak for and to mine: It’s never an option to claim Jesus Christ as Savior and behave in an uncivil manner with anyone, under any circumstance. Never. I pray I will be known for speech seasoned with grace, for regarding others as more important than myself, and for doing everything in love.” – Mark DeMoss

Four Grandmother's Fans

When I’ve a problem without a solution, I often set it on the “back burner.” Sometimes the answer will present itself at the least expected time and place. I’m out of spaces to stuff my “Aunt Gracie” 1930’s fabric. Should I stop buying so many vintage prints? Probably. Should I give the ones I don’t love to a thrift shop? Definitely. Should I thin out the stash by making a large, scrappy quilt? Absolutely. But so many patterns use more background solids than scraps: I’d have to buy lots more new fabric to use a little of the old. Then last week, as I was tuning the orchestra before a performance of Beauty and the Beast, someone walked to their seat in the audience carrying a lovely Grandmother’s Fan quilt. It used hundreds of retro 30’s prints for the blades of the fans. But the background fabric was from prints with a lower color value: shirting. I already own LOTS of shirting. Problem solved.

This and That

Early last summer a frustrated jogger was filmed tossing a homeless man’s possessions into Lake Merritt. The “Jogger Joe” video went viral, bringing to light two problems: one man with a quick temper and another squatting in a public park. In the end, the jogger (his name isn’t really Joe) was sentenced to five years’ probation and anger management classes. The homeless man (his name’s Drew) became the focus of a crowd funding campaign which quickly grew to $14,000. He was offered an apartment, a haircut, a prepaid phone and a job at Home Depot. Drew turned it all down. The money was eventually given to The Homeless Action Center and East Oakland Collective. Drew still lives on the edge of the lake. If this story has a moral, it’s that homelessness isn’t a problem you can solve by throwing out a sleeping bag and some clothes. It’s also too complex a problem to solve by throwing money at it.

Grandmother's Fan

When we lived in Sandy, we worked with our neighbors to build a vinyl fence between our properties. Before long their teenage boys found they could stand on our sprinkler heads to climb over this fence. We asked them to stop, but they didn’t. After replacing several heads, we took a different approach. We went to the nursery and asked for their spiniest raspberry canes. We planted them along our side of the fence, and the problem was solved. The fruit was a lovely side benefit. Occasionally there were enough ripe berries for jam. But nearly every morning all summer long I could gather enough raspberries for my bowl of Grape Nuts. August 1 is Raspberry Cream Pie Day. Beat together 2 cups raspberries, 3/4 cup sugar, 8 ounces cream cheese, 3/4 cup sour cream, 8 ounces Cool Whip (thawed) and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Fold in another cup of berries. Spoon into baked and cooled 9” pie crust. Chill.