Montpelier Block

Dear Ann Landers: I recall you printed a humorous column some time ago explaining communism, socialism and fascism. Will you please print it again? – A Teacher in Mississippi

Dear Mississippi Teacher: Thank you for asking. It's an "oldie," but a "goldie." Here it is:

Socialism: You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they may give you some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government, and the government sells it.

Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.

Anarchism: You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.

Capitalism: You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonica lessons.