Stockings on the Mantel

 

Is your head full of Christmas songs? See if you can name these:

 

1    “Bells on bobtails ring”

2    “Noel, Noel, o night, o night divine”

3    “Glory to the new-born King”

4    “Come and behold Him”

5    “I don’t want a lot for Christmas”

6    “Where the tree tops glisten”

7    “Just slip a sable under the tree for me”

8    “In heaven the bells are ringing”

9    “Born is the King of Israel”

10    “Round yon virgin, mother and Child”

11    “You girls and boys won’t get any toys”

12    “The very next day you gave it away”

13    “When the snowman brings the snow”

14    “Bring us some figgy pudding”

15    “Mary was that mother mild”

16    “Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?”

17    “How still we see thee lie”

18    “Now the jingle hop has begun”

19    “Tis the season to be jolly”

20    “A corn cob pipe and a button nose”

21    “Underneath the mistletoe last night”

22    “Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie”

23    “Ring out those bells tonight”

24    “The stars in the bright sky”

25    “Then one foggy Christmas Eve”

Nine Diversions

 

“All around us are opportunities to laugh, delight, see with grateful eyes. Ours is a gospel of joy and holiness in everyday life. Holiness sets things apart for sacred purpose. But holiness also invites us to infuse daily living with the sacred—to rejoice in daily bread amidst this world’s thistles and thorns. To walk with the Lord, we must become holy, for He is holy, and to help us become holy, the Lord invites us to walk with Him. Growing evidence highlights this striking fact: religious believers are on average happier, healthier, and more fulfilled than those without spiritual commitment or connection. Happiness and life satisfaction, mental and physical health, meaning and purpose, character and virtue, close social relationships, even financial and material stability—on each measure, religious practitioners flourish. What researchers call ‘religious structural stability’ offers clarity, purpose, and inspiration amidst life’s twists and turns.” – Elder Gerrit W. Gong

Four Kisses

 

Funeral potatoes are a big deal around here. The name comes from the way they show up whenever someone passes. But they’re popular anytime family gets together.

 

Slow-Cooker Funeral Potatoes

 

1 1/2 pounds frozen cubed hashbrowns

1 cup sour cream

1 10-ounce can condensed cream of chicken soup

1 cup melted butter, divided

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/4 teaspoon ground pepper

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

2 cups Corn Flakes cereal, crushed

 

Coat slow-cooker pot with non-stick spray. In a large bowl, combine sour cream, soup, and 1/2 cup of melted butter. Fold them together with a spatula. Add onion powder, cheese and pepper; fold again. Add potatoes and stir until combined. Spread mixture in slow cooker. Cover and cook on low 5 to 6 hours. Turn off slow cooker. Stir together remaining melted butter and crushed Corn Flakes in a skillet. Carefully toast over medium heat until golden brown. Spread evenly over potato mixture. Serves eight.

One Dozen Delectable Mountains

 

I discovered a few days ago that Utah has two state songs. I knew about our state hymn, “Utah, We Love Thee.” It was in the LDS hymnbook when I was a girl, under the name of “Land of the Mountains High.” Written by Evan Stephens in 1895, it was performed the following January when Utah became a state. “Utah…This is the Place” was written for the state’s centennial in 1995. It replaced the original song in 2003, after fourth grade students at Cook Elementary School complained that “Utah, We Love Thee” wasn’t fun to sing. Technically, Utah still only has one official state song, as “Utah, We Love Thee” is our state hymn. It could be worse. Tennessee has fourteen official state songs, including eight that were added in the past two years. (The only one you’ve ever heard of or ever will hear of is “The Tennessee Waltz.”) They even have their own official bicentennial rap.

Economy Block

 

Oz was created in 1900 by L. Frank Baum, who went on to write fourteen full-length books about the fictional land. (I had a tough time finding them in libraries in the 70’s, but you can get them all from Amazon today.) In an interview, Baum once said he got the name from a filing cabinet that was labeled “O-Z.” There were seven film adaptations BEFORE the 1939 MGM musical, including a silent movie featuring a very young Oliver Hardy. Three more appeared – one starring Judy Garland’s daughter, Liza Minelli – before The Wiz (1978) with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. Several animated versions were made, including a few with Tom and Jerry. Return to Oz (1985), is probably still giving my kids nightmares. Disney’s Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) is probably worth seeing, once. Part one of Wicked came out this month. The movie is PG, but the book it’s based on is definitely not kid-friendly.

Two Yellow Houses

 

Robert Augustus Chesebrough was a New York City chemist who clarified kerosene from the oil of sperm whales. The discovery of petroleum in Titusville, Pennsylvania quickly made his job obsolete. In 1859, Robert was visiting Titusville and noticed workers using the greasy buildup on the oil drilling rigs to treat their own cuts and burns. Robert patented the process for making petroleum jelly. He bottled his discovery, which he named “Vaseline.” Robert had a tough time convincing drug stores to sell it, until he staged demonstrations. He’d burn his own skin with an open flame, and daub jelly on his burn. Then he’d show off previous burns “healed” by his miracle product. By 1874, he was selling over 1,400 jars a day. Actually, Vaseline doesn’t heal at all. It forms a barrier, keeping moisture in and germs out. One of the leading causes of death in the 1800’s was infection from open wounds. 

Traffic Jam

 

1 Corinthians 13, Christmas Version

 If I adorn my house with twinkling lights but don’t show love to my family – I’m just a decorator. If I bake cookies, prepare gourmet meals, and arrange a beautiful table, but don’t show love to my family – I’m just a cook. If I volunteer at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and donate to charity, but don’t show love to my family – it profits me nothing. If I trim a tree, attend holiday parties, and sing in the choir but don’t focus on Christ, I’ve missed the point. Love stops cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, even when tired. Love doesn’t envy another home that has coordinated china and table linens. Love doesn’t yell at kids to get out of the way. Video games break; pearl necklaces get lost; golf clubs rust.  But the gift of love will endure. – Sharon Jaynes

Six Diversions

 

“Consider the combination of the Savior’s gospel and His Church as established by the Book of Mormon prophet Alma. The Church was responsible for preaching repentance and faith on the Lord. People flocked to the Waters of Mormon to hear Alma preach the gospel. Though they revered those waters and the surrounding forests, the Lord’s Church was not a location or a building, nor is it today. The Church is simply ordinary people, disciples of Jesus Christ, gathered and organized into a divinely appointed structure that helps the Lord accomplish His purposes. The Church is the instrument through which we learn the central role of Jesus Christ in Heavenly Father’s plan. The Church offers the authoritative way for individuals to participate in ordinances and make lasting covenants with God. Keeping those covenants draws us closer to God, gives us access to His power, and transforms us into who He intends us to become.” – Elder Dale G. Renlund

Two Hugs

 

Poke cakes appeared on the scene in the late 70’s, and were insanely popular for a while. They couldn’t be simpler to make, and they’re a huge hit at pot lucks.

 

Christmas Poke Cake

 

1 box white cake mix (plus eggs, oil, and water)

One 3-ounce box lime Jell-O

One 3-ounce box cherry Jell-O

2 cups boiling water, divided

One 8-ounce tub Cool Whip topping, defrosted

Holiday sprinkles

 

Prepare cake as directed, in a 9x13” pan. Let baked cake cool 20 minutes. Poke several holes in cake with handle of a wooden spoon. Stir cherry Jell-O into 1 cup boiling water. In a separate bowl, stir lime Jell-O into remaining boiling water. Allow both mixes to cool to room temperature. Pour lime mixture into half the cake holes; then pour cherry mixture into the other half. Use all the Jell-O. Refrigerate the cake for 3-4 hours or overnight, and then top with whipped topping and sprinkles.

Nine Delectable Mountains

 

Otto Frederick Rohwedder was born in Des Moines in 1880. He was apprenticed to a jeweler to learn a trade. At one point, Otto owned three jewelry stores in St. Joseph, Missouri. The experience he gained repairing watches led Otto to inventing machinery. He was convinced he could design a machine that would convert fresh loaves of bread into uniform slices. Otto sold off his jewelry stores to fund this project, but a fire in 1917 destroyed his prototype and blueprints. It took Otto years to come up with the cash to start over. In 1927, he successfully created a machine that not only sliced bread, but wrapped it. In 1930 Continental Baking Company introduced Wonder Bread, sliced and wrapped by Otto’s machines. Within five years, 80% of all bread sold in the US was pre-sliced. This, in turn, boosted sales of the newly-invented automatic toaster. It’s true what they say: a rising tide lifts all boats.

Four Whirlwinds

 

In 2013, JCPenney sold a kettle as part of a collection of Michael Graves housewares. The retailer called it the “Bells and Whistles Stainless Steel Tea Kettle,” but it soon became known by a different name. The kettle’s asymmetrical black handle was thought to resemble Adolf Hitler’s parted comb-over hairstyle. The little black knob on the lid gave the impression of the dictator’s nose and toothbrush mustache. Even the spout looked as if the kettle had its arm extended in a Nazi salute. In May of that year, a photo of a billboard advertising the product on Interstate 405 in Culver City, California, was posted online, where it quickly went viral. Amid all the negative attention, JCPenney removed the billboard, tweeting, "If we'd designed the kettle to look like something, we would've gone with a snowman" The $40 “Hitler kettle” disappeared from store shelves anyway, and several showed up on eBay for as much as $199.

Two Turquoise Houses

Brenda Mae Tarpley was born December 11, 1944, in the charity ward of Atlanta’s Grady Hospital. She only weighed four pounds, eleven ounces. Brenda’s early years were spent in three-room rentals without running water, moving every time her dad needed to find work. When Brenda was a toddler, her mom or sister would bring her to candy stores and lift her onto the counter, where she would sing for pennies or sweets. Her dad died in a construction accident when Brenda was eight. Before she turned ten, she was the family’s primary bread winner, singing on radio and TV shows. Under the professional name Brenda Lee, her recording career spans five decades. But her biggest-selling track was one she laid at age thirteen: Johnny Marks’ “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” a song that’s even more popular today than when it was new. Today is Brenda Lee’s eightieth birthday. I’ll be celebrating by listening to her music.  

Three Jade Plants

This time of year, my calendar always gets way too crowded. I keep agreeing to add events that will have me out driving in the snow well after dark when what I really want to do is stay at home, make a bowl of buttered popcorn, and watch a nice Christmas movie. Like, How the Grinch Stole Christmas: “The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there, on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it.” (The Grinch opens his schedule.) “Four o’clock, wallow in self-pity. Four-thirty, stare into the abyss. Five o’clock, solve world hunger. Tell no one. Five-thirty, Jazzercise. Six-thirty, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again! Seven o’clock, wrestle with my self-loathing. I’m booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I can still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?”

Four Diversions

“I urge you to become engaged in family history, spend time in the temple, and carefully prepare yourself to be the kind of man or woman ready to marry an equally worthy companion in the temple. Develop a pattern in your life now to make the temple a regular part of your lives. There will likely be difficulties for each of us in the days ahead. However, as we enter this coming decade, may we share glad tidings through the simple activities of living, caring, inviting, and uniting. As we do so, the Lord will bless us. I testify those who approach the Lord with a sincere heart and real intent, those who have the name of the Savior upon their lips and the Holy Spirit in their souls, those who embark upon this grand and glorious pilgrimage will discover and experience bounteous celestial blessings and receive a witness that God hears you, knows you, and loves you.” - Elder Gary E. Stevenson

 

Red Heart

 

We hung a hummingbird feeder in the maple outside my window around Mother’s Day. It was there all summer. We never saw more than two birds visit at a time, so it was difficult to know how many we were feeding. Occasionally we’d catch sight of a male black-chinned hummingbird, but generally we’d see a less colorful female (or possibly an adolescent male – I understand they look similar). The hummingbirds were timid. They’d scout the area before darting in. Between sips, they’d constantly check for predators. Now the hummingbirds are in Guatemala, and we have a millet-filled feeder hanging in the same spot. Finches of all sorts are cleaning us out. We refilled at dusk Tuesday, and by Wednesday lunch it was half empty. Four are eating there now, with more in the maple tree and dozens in the yard, waiting their turn and chattering happily. Given the choice, I think I’d rather be a finch.

Four Delectable Mountains

 

When I’m not serving this salad to extremely picky people, I like to add a handful of walnut halves, garbanzo beans, pickled pepperoncini, mozzarella pearls, pepperoni or other fun things.

 

Italian Pasta Salad

 

8 ounces penne pasta, cooked al dente and chilled

2 ribs celery, cut into 1/4” slices

1 green onion, thinly sliced

1 cup black olives, sliced

1 cup grape tomatoes, sliced in half lengthwise

1/2 cup olive oil

1/4 cup mayo

3 tablespoons white vinegar

1/2 tablespoon granulated sugar

1 teaspoon Italian seasoning

1/4 teaspoon onion salt

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

2 tablespoons freshly grated parmesan cheese

Fresh ground pepper to taste

 

Combine pasta, onion, celery, olives, and tomatoes in large bowl. Combine remaining ingredients in smaller bowl; beat with a wire whisk until uniform. Pour dressing into pasta/veg bowl and toss. Cover and refrigerate at least an hour before serving.

Whirlwind Block

 

We saw Moana 2 the day before it opened. The animation was amazing, but the songs were underwhelming. And the villain didn’t show up until the end credits. The last Disney movie I can remember with a villain was Hans in Frozen (2013). And Hans was barely IN Frozen. Mary Shelley once said, “The story of villains is much more entertaining than the story of heroes, because monsters are not born, they’re made. They don’t emerge from the void or darkness by themselves, but they are shaped by circumstances, by the wounds of the world around them. They reflect the deepest of human pain, rejection, loneliness, misunderstanding. A hero is defined by his acts of bravery, but a villain is the result of a heart that was once pure and ended up corrupted. The monsters, in their tragedy, show us what could happen to us all, if the world turned its back on us.”

Two Red Houses

 

American physicist and electrical engineer John Bardeen was cooking breakfast for his family when the news came over the radio: John, Walter Brattain and William Schockley had just won the Nobel Prize in Physics! John was so surprised he dropped the eggs on the floor. At the ceremony in Stockholm, John introduced his youngest son to the King of Sweden. Gustav VI was distressed John’s older two boys – who were busy with exams at Harvard – hadn’t come. The physicist reassured his majesty, “I’ll bring them the next time I win a Nobel prize.” He may have meant it as a joke, but that’s not how it turned out. John Bardeen won in 1956 for the invention of the transistor. He won again in 1972, for the theory of superconductivity, making him the only person to win two Nobel prizes in physics. Don’t worry. The second time he won, John brought all three sons to the ceremony.

Three Cactus Flowers

 

According to the Chronica Gallica, Saxons invaded Brittain in 409 or 410. They landed on the east coast and worked their way west. At some point, the Saxons pointed to a hill in Wales and asked the locals for its name. The Welsh told them they called it “pen,” which means “hill” in Welsh. So, the Saxons used their name for hill, “Tor,” and called the place “Torpen” (hill hill). The Vikings began raiding Wales around 850. Using much the same process, they added the Norse name for hill, “haugr” to the place. That’s how the spot became known as “Torpen Haugr” (hill hill hill). The English invasion of Wales began in January, 1277. There was a Norman conquest before that, in the year 1067. But apparently the Normans didn’t bother to rename this particular hill. Anyway, when the English showed up, they began calling it “Torpenhow Hill” (hill hill hill hill). Language is awesome.

Diversion Block

 

“We sustain our living prophet at general conference, and the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, General Authorities, and Officers of the Church. To sustain means to hold up another person, to give them our attention, to be faithful to their trust, to act upon their words. In holding up our hands, we are committing our support, not just for that moment but in our daily lives. Sustaining includes holding up our stake presidents and bishops, quorum and organization leaders, teachers, and even camp directors in our wards and stakes. Closer to home, we hold up our wives and our husbands, children, parents, extended family, and neighbors. When we hold up one another we are saying, ‘I’m here for you, not just to hold up your arms and hands when they hang down but to be a comfort and strength at your side.’” – Elder Ronald A. Rasband