Three Jade Plants

This time of year, my calendar always gets way too crowded. I keep agreeing to add events that will have me out driving in the snow well after dark when what I really want to do is stay at home, make a bowl of buttered popcorn, and watch a nice Christmas movie. Like, How the Grinch Stole Christmas: “The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there, on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it.” (The Grinch opens his schedule.) “Four o’clock, wallow in self-pity. Four-thirty, stare into the abyss. Five o’clock, solve world hunger. Tell no one. Five-thirty, Jazzercise. Six-thirty, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again! Seven o’clock, wrestle with my self-loathing. I’m booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I can still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?”