How to tell you’re OLD:
When they light all the candles on your birthday cake, the
smoke alarm goes off.
You started out with nothing in life, and you realize you
have most of it left.
When you take a bite of steak, your teeth might stay there.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
If a storm’s coming, you know before the weatherman does.
There’s Metamucil and Preparation H in your medicine
cabinet, but not Bengay.
When invited to two events the same night, you pick the one
that gets you home earlier.
Your idea of “happy hour” is a good nap.
It takes you twice as long to look half as good.
You can remember your kindergarten teacher’s name, but not
why you walked into the kitchen.
The policeman who just pulled you over looks like a
teenager.
You hear “snap, crackle and pop” at the breakfast table, but
you’re not eating cereal.













































