Two Pineapples

 

David Hahn was born October 30, 1979 in Royal Oak, Michigan. His parents divorce when he was nine. David stayed with his dad, who remarried. He developed an interest in chemistry, fireworks and model rocketry. His family encouraged him to join the Boy Scouts, and David became obsessed with achieving a merit badge in atomic energy. He read everything about it he could get his hands on. He began collecting smoke detectors (they contain americium), lantern mantles (for thorium), and old glow-in-the-dark clock hands and dials (radium). He used it to create a reactor in a potting shed in the backyard. When David was 17, a routine traffic stop put an end to his fun. Police found suspicious material in his car and traced it to his backyard. The EPA showed up in hazmat suits. The shed was dismantled and buried as nuclear waste. David never did earn that merit badge.

Five Bird Houses

 

When he was thirteen, Gabriel García Márquez walked up to the prettiest girl on the dance floor and said, “I just realized all my poems are about you. Marry me.” Most girls would have laughed and walked away, but Mercedes said, “Alright. But I have to finish school first.” They married thirteen years later. Gabriel’s dream was to write an epic novel. He shut himself in a room and wrote while Mercedes dealt with the real world. After 18 months, Gabriel’s enormous manuscript was ready to ship to a publisher. The only problem: there was no money for postage. Mercedes pawned the last two things she owned – a hairdryer and a blender – and the rest is history. That manuscript became One Hundred Years of Solitude; one of the most influential novels of the 20th century. After it came Love in the Time of Cholera, and Chronicle of a Death Foretold. And a Nobel Prize for Literature.

Four Dozen Butterflies

 

Insulting people is a dying art:

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard

Pineapple

 

We had these Sunday, with cheese burgers. Honestly, they’d be a great accompaniment with any grilled meat.

 

Marinated White Beans

 

2 (15-ounce cans) white beans, drained and rinsed

1/2 cup chopped fresh herbs (I chose fresh basil.)

2 roasted red peppers, finely diced

1/3 cup finely diced shallot (Out of shallots; substituted red onion.)

2 garlic cloves, chopped

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 lemon, zested and juiced

1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

 

In a large bowl, combine all ingredients. Cover and refrigerate at least two hours; preferably overnight. Will stay fresh in the fridge 3 or 4 days.

Four Dozen Pine Trees

 

More thoughts about a 13-month year: If each month had only 28 days, some holidays wouldn’t fall on the same days they do now. New Year’s Eve, for instance would happen on the 28th of the month – either December or March, depending on which came at the end of the year. Thanksgiving would always be Thursday, November 25. Valentines Day would always be a Sunday, like Mother’s and Father’s Days. I’ve read the Kodak company used a 13-month calendar from 1924 to 1989. Their extra month was called Sol, and it came between June and July. Leap day, when it happened, was December 29, and it was an extra weekend day. For years, George Eastman (Kodak’s founder) tried to promote worldwide acceptance but was unsuccessful. I’m not awfully surprised. We’ve been trying for ages to do away with Daylight Saving Time; something absolutely EVERYONE hates. Yet here we are, still adjusting all our clocks twice a year.

Four X Blocks

 

“Each Sabbath we invite all to come worship Jesus Christ in the community of His restored Church. In the sacramental ordinance, we covenant that we are willing to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ, always remember Him, and keep His commandments. He promises we can always have His Spirit to be with us. As we witness and remember Jesus each week, we abide and walk with Him. Just as the disciples on the road to Emmaus ask Jesus to abide with them, Jesus Christ promises to abide with us. In the Gospel of John, chapters 14 and 15, Jesus teaches His disciples and us how He can remain, belong, walk with us. His faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death. When we have a question, problem, or joy, Jesus Christ says, ‘I am your answer—your way, your truth, your life.’” – Elder Gerrit W. Gong

Four Bird Houses

 

Antoine-Joseph “Adolphe” Sax was an inventor and musician from Belgium. Adolphe was the eldest of eleven children, only three of whom survived to age 13. He studied flute, clarinet, harmony and solfège at the Royal School of Music in Brussels, but he abandoned a career in performance to create musical instruments in his father’s workshop. Adolphe made changes in the design of the bass clarinet that are still in use. His most famous invention is the saxophone, which combines elements of both woodwind and brass instruments. Adolphe designed a massive family of saxophones in 14 distinct sizes, from the tiny sopranino to the massive contrabass. Only four sizes are commonly used today: soprano, alto, tenor and baritone. The saxophone may be made of brass, but it’s classified as a woodwind instrument because it generates sound with a reed. Adolphe also invented the saxotromba, saxhorn and saxtuba, but somehow, none of them caught on. 

Twenty-Five Leap Frogs

 

Every year should have thirteen months. With thirteen months instead of twelve, every month would have exactly four weeks instead of 4.257. We could stop memorizing “Thirty days has September, April, June, and November, All the rest have thirty-one, Save February at twenty-eight, But leap year, coming once in four, February then has one day more.” Months would start on Monday and end on Sunday. Friday the 13th would disappear. I propose our 13-month year should start April first, the way it did until 1582. We’d still need an occasional leap day. It could happen at the end of March, and be an extra weekend day. The thirteenth month could fall between August and September, so September, October, November and December would go back to being the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months, as their names imply. The new month could have the Latin name for 6th month: Sextilis. Or, we could name it for some Roman god.

Five Gold Stars

 

Samuel Augustus Maverick was born in South Carolina in 1803. Because he was christened with his father’s name, his family called him “Gus.” At Yale University, he was known as “Sam.” Sam dabbled in law and in politics. He owned a gold mine and a plantation, then he bought a lot of land in and around San Antonio, Texas. Sam was involved in the siege of the Alamo, and he was one of the signers of the Texas Declaration of Independence. Sam served in the legislature, as Bexar County Chief Justice, and Mayor of San Antonio. He refused to brand his cattle. He said he didn’t want to inflict pain on the animals, but his neighbors believed he just wanted to collect and claim any unbranded cattle as his own. Because of Sam, the word Maverick – meaning a person with a stubborn streak of independence, and also any wild, unbranded range animal – became a part of the English language. 

Three Bird Houses

 

In 1971, the Robertson family spent their entire life savings on a 50-year-old schooner – the Lucette – to sail the world. There were six of them: mom and dad (Lynn and Dougal), their 18-year-old daughter (Anne), 16-year-old son (Douglas) and a pair of nine-year-old twins (Neil and Sandy). Anne ended her trip in the Bahamas. In Panama, they picked up a 22-year-old student on his way to the Pacific. June 15, 1972, three orcas rammed the Lucette and it sank, leaving six people adrift in a small dinghy and an inflatable life raft. Anne’s sewing kit kept the crumbling life raft together 16 days until it couldn’t anymore. Then all six were crammed into the 10’ dinghy. The castaways survived on rain water, sea turtles, dorado and flying fish. The 38th day after the Lucette sank, the Robertsons were rescued by a Japanese fishing trawler. Their dinghy is on permanent display at the National Maritime Museum in Cornwall.

Twenty-Five Kitty Cats

 

Marion Clifton Davis was raised in a trailer on a dirt road. Starting at sixteen, he hustled pool and poker to pay for degrees in political science and law. He invested in land and mineral rights, and earned millions. One day on a whim, “M.C.” attended a presentation on Florida’s black bear. “I hate to confess this,” he said. “I didn't know Florida even had black bears.” M.C. started buying land in Florida’s pan handle: 50,000+ acres he named “Nocuse,” Muscogee for black bear. He planted eight million long-leaf pine seedlings on what he called a 300-year project. When lung cancer took his life, he was fifteen years into it. M.C.’s trees are centuries from maturity, but Nocuse Preserve is already home to several black bears. When gopher tortoises are found on nearby construction sites, they’re relocated here. Every year thousands of students learn about Florida’s wildlife at the E.O. Wilson Biophilia Center M.C. Davis built.

X Marks the Spot

 

“When Mary and other faithful women approached the Garden Tomb to care for the body of their Lord, they found two angels, who announced, ‘He is not here, but is risen.’ Those glorious words, ‘He is risen,’ have sparked religious ceremony, gratitude, faith in Jesus Christ and His promises for centuries. President Dallin H. Oaks has testified: ‘The resurrection is a pillar of our faith. It adds meaning to our doctrine, motivation to our behavior, and hope for our future.’ Jesus Christ is more than a mortal first laid in a manger, more than a friend, teacher, rabbi, minister, or prophet. He is the Only Begotten Son of the Father. And by divine design, His Resurrection by His own godly power reunited His body and His spirit. What a majestic and monumental event in Father in Heaven’s eternal plan.” - Elder Ronald A. Rasband

Two Bird Houses

 

In June 2021, boat captain/scuba diver Jennifer Dowker, owner of Nautical North Family Adventures, was cleaning the windows of her glass-bottom boat in Michigan's Cheboygan River. As she worked, she spotted a small, green bottle on the riverbed. “I collect little bottles when I’m diving,” she says. “I have a double-bladed axe head I found last time I washed the windows.” Upon surfacing, Jennifer and her first mate, Rob Hemmer, carefully extracted a waterlogged note dated November 1926. It read: "Will the person who finds this bottle return this paper to George Morrow, Cheboygan, Michigan, and tell where it was found?” Jennifer took photos of her find and posted them on Facebook. Her post quickly received 113k shares, 70k likes and 6,000 comments. Better still, the post helped her find the daughter of the man who wrote the note. George died in 1995, but his daughter, 74-year-old Michele Primeau, was thrilled to recognize her dad’s handwriting.  

Two Dozen Leap Frogs

 

An English town replaced miles of frequently mown roadside grass with wildflowers, and the result was cheaper, more colorful and far better for wildlife. Rotherham Council (South Yorkshire) created an eight-mile “River of Flowers” along roadsides and traffic circles across the town. Instead of repeatedly cutting ordinary grass, the council planted large areas with wildflower mixes designed to provide nectar, seeds and shelter for insects and birds. The change reduced the amount of mowing and maintenance required, saving the council around £23,000 (roughly $30,700) every two years. It also transformed ordinary roadsides into long corridors of blooming color to support bees, butterflies and other pollinators. The project demonstrated helping nature doesn’t always require huge new parks or expensive technology. Sometimes it can be as simple as mowing less and allowing life to return. Eight miles of wildflowers, lower maintenance costs and healthier habitats, all created from land that was previously just cut grass.

Four Gold Stars

 

I don’t serve on a community theatre board, but I have THOUGHTS. In my opinion, if your stage is a postage stamp, you shouldn’t produce musicals with a huge cast. It limits what the choreographer, costumer, and set designer can do. Tiny stages should run You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, She Loves Me, and Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder; not Fiddler or Les Miz. If your audience wants family fare, stage Disney or Rogers & Hammerstein. Avoid Hamilton, Hair, Cabaret and Rent. If your audition pool is 99.9% white, forget West Side Story, Hairspray, The Wiz, and Carmen Jones. As much as I’d love to see (and help stage) The King and I and Flower Drum Song, I’d hate to watch a British/Scandinavian/German cast trying to look Chinese or Thai. And if your venue and budget don’t have room for a live orchestra, skip musicals altogether. Do Christmas Carol, Our Town, or anything Agatha Christie.

Birdhouse

 

Charles Cunningham Boycott was born in England in 1832. He was discharged from a military academy after failing exams. His family bought him a commission in the 39th Foot Regiment, but his military career was unremarkable. Charles became a land agent for Lord Erne. Essentially, he was to manage a 629-acre farm in Ireland and collect rent from tenant farmers. In 1880, after a particularly bad harvest, Charles evicted eleven tenants behind on their rent. The community objected. The process server, escorted by 17 policemen, was pelted with manure as he tried to deliver eviction notices. The locals treated Charles as if he had leprosy. His household staff, farm laborers, and stable hands refused to work for him. The shopkeepers in town stopped doing business with him. He even stopped receiving mail. Charles and his family fled to America and changed their name to Cunningham, because “Boycott” had come to mean shun, spurn, and snub.

Twenty-Four Kitty Cats

 

Ignacio Anaya was born in Chihuahua, Mexico in 1895. He worked as a maître d'hotel during the 40’s at the Victory Club, a restaurant near the Mexican/U.S. border. The Club was a popular spot with servicemen, because of its proximity to a U.S. Army base. One day in 1943, a hungry group of Army wives walked in, and the chef was A.W.O.L. Ignacio seated the women and said, “Let me fix something up for you.” He went into the kitchen, picked up tostadas, grated some Wisconsin cheese on top, and put them under the broiler. Once the cheese was golden-brown, he topped his creation with sliced jalapeño. The wives loved the crispy, cheesy dish. They returned often to request “Ignacio’s Special.” In no time at all, the simple recipe showed up in cookbooks and other restaurants, often with additions like meat or beans. Ignacio never patented his creation, but to this day it bears his nickname, “Nachos.”

Striped Heart

 

“Jesus Christ has infinite capacity to forgive, promising that ‘as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.’ Because of Jesus Christ, sins for which we have sincerely repented leave no spiritual scar, track, or trace. There is no scarlet letter to wear, now or in the eternities. When we repent with real intent, the entirety of our sin, not just a part, is figuratively nailed to the cross and we no longer bear its spiritual consequences. After we have repented, we owe no more to justice because Jesus has paid the debt; He pardons us from deserved punishment. We are forgiven, our hearts and hands are made clean, and the Lord remembers our sins no more. The Lord our God is mighty; he will save, and he will rejoice over us.” – Elder Dale G. Renlund

Eighteen Leap Frogs

 

Wikipedia calls Centralia, Pennsylvania a “near ghost town,” because it has four residents. In the 1950’s, there were nearly 2,000 people living there. In May, 1962, the borough council hired volunteer firemen to “clear” the town landfill, meaning they were to burn the trash, then put the fire out. The area had been an old strip mine, above a warren of coal mine shafts dating from the 1860’s. There should have been a layer of fireproof clay between the trash and the mines, but someone dropped that ball. In 1979, a service station owner noticed his gas was very hot. A thermometer lowered in the underground tank read 172 degrees. A 12-year-old boy nearly died when a 150-foot sinkhole opened in his grandma’s back yard. Carbon monoxide spewed from the ground. In 1983, Congress allocated $42 million to relocate residents and demolish homes and businesses. It’s estimated the underground fire will continue burning another 200 years.