Tennessee Waltz

 

This week I learned mice don’t like cheese. Dr. David Holmes of the Manchester Metropolitan University, says they tend to avoid cheese. They’ll eat it, of course, if nothing else is available, but we should probably rethink using cheese to lure them into a trap. This is earth-shattering news. Everything I know about mousetraps I learned from Saturday morning cartoons. And every one of them was exclusively baited with cheese. While we’re on the subject of misleading classic cartoons, if you could dig a hole straight down through the earth, you wouldn’t end up in China, unless, of course, you started in Argentina. The antipode (opposite side) of the earth from me is way, way off the coast of South Africa. And you can’t dig that far, anyway. The deepest hole we’ve ever made is only 7 1/2 miles. The diameter of the earth is 7,917 1/2 miles, give or take. Six-year-old me would be so disappointed.

Nine Black and Red Log Cabins

 

“According to gospel doctrine, the difference between woman and man does not override the eternal promises God has for His sons and daughters. One has no greater possibilities for celestial glory than the other in the eternities. The Savior Himself invites all of us to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him. In this context, we are all considered equal before Him. When spouses understand and incorporate this principle, they do not position themselves as president or vice president of their family. There is no superiority or inferiority in the marriage relationship, and neither walks ahead of or behind the other. They walk side by side, as equals, the divine offspring of God. They become one in thought, desire, and purpose with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, leading and guiding the family unit together.” – Elder Ulisses Soares

Summer Winds

 

Last weekend we had lunch at the Red Iguana downtown. The special of the day was Chicken Posole Verde – a Mexican take on chicken soup. It was the perfect foil for a wet, raw afternoon. I only wish it came in a deeper bowl; one that didn’t allow the soup to cool faster than we could eat it.

 

Slow Cooker Posole Verde

 

1 cup onion, diced.

1 poblano pepper, seeded and diced

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

12 ounces green canned chiles, diced

6 cups chicken stock

28 ounces white hominy, drained and rinsed

3 boneless chicken breasts, or thighs

2 teaspoons cumin (Here’s where most of the heat is. If you’re timid, use 1/2 teaspoon.)

 

Add all ingredients to slow cooker; cover and cook on low 6 to 8 hours. Shred chicken before serving. Garnish with:

Chopped avocado

Lime wedges

Crumbled cotija or feta

Shredded cabbage

Thinly sliced radishes

Tortilla chips

Aunt Malvernia's Chain

 

During an interview on the Bobby Jones Show in 2018, Dolly Parton revealed she’d written two of her most famous songs: “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day. “I Will Always Love You” was a farewell to her business partner when Dolly chose to purse a solo career, but it’s considered Whitney Houston’s signature song. The Rolling Stone listed “Jolene” as #217 on the magazine’s “500 Greatest Songs of All Time.” Freddie Mercury claimed he composed “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” in “five or ten minutes,” WHILE HE WAS TAKING A BATH. Freddie wrote the song as a tribute to Elvis Presley. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” became the first US hit for Queen, topping the Billboard Hot 100 for four weeks, before it was displaced by Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall.” These 150 words are (so far) all I’ve managed to write today.

Arizona

 

It’s always taken me a while to get good at writing the proper date when a new year comes. I only write a handful of checks per year - to my cleaners and the guy who aerates my lawn. When I do, I tend not to THINK about what year it is. My hand just goes on autopilot. It could always be worse, of course. I could be living in Ethiopia. In the year 500 A.D., the Catholic Church recalculated Christ’s birth year. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church didn’t. So, nearly everyone on the planet calls this year 2023. In Ethiopia, it’s seven years ago. Or possibly eight, because their year begins on our September eleventh (September twelfth on leap years). Even though Ethiopia lies slightly above the equator, somehow September is the beginning of their spring. Is your head spinning yet? The current year in Lebanon is 2077. And in Thailand, it’s 2565.

Twenty-five Butterflies

 

We tried this last Thursday, with mashed potatoes and green beans. I broke my rule about changing a new recipe by cutting it in half. It was still plenty for four adults. I suspect the full recipe would feed eight to ten.

 

Slow Cooker Apple Cider Pork

 

2 pounds pork tenderloin

2 large carrots, peeled and sliced

3 apples, peeled, cored and sliced

1 onion, chopped

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon fresh rosemary, chopped

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 teaspoon EACH ginger, allspice and nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon sage

1 1/2 cups cider

1 tablespoon Worcestershire

 

Put carrots, onions, apples and garlic in slow cooker. Place pork on top. Blend cider, Worcestershire, herbs and spices; pour over pork and vegetables. Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours, until meat falls apart and vegetables are tender. Remove and shred pork; return to slow cooker and continue cooking about 30 minutes. 

Honeymoon

 

Emerson Romero was born in Havana in 1900. He was first cousin to actor Cesar Romero, who was born when Emerson was seven. Cesar used his birth name, but Emerson used the screen name Tommy Albert. Emerson appeared in dozens of movies – most of them comedies – until 1927, when the first “talkies” came out. Emerson had lost his hearing to whooping cough at age six. He could read lips and speak after a fashion, but he couldn’t compete with the likes of Ronald Coleman or Charles Laughton. Actors without gorgeous voices weren’t the only casualties of talking pictures. Deaf audience members, who used to follow the action along with everyone else by reading intertitles, were suddenly left out. Emerson developed the first technique to pair captions with films, making them more accessible for the deaf and hard of hearing. His work inspired the invention of closed captioning used in TV shows and movies today.

Four Red and Black Cabins

 

“This world is noisy, crowded, pushy, with pretense and posturing. Yet, in our deep heart’s core, we want to believe, somewhere, somehow, happy and forever are real and possible. Happy and forever are not the imaginary stuff of fairy tales. True, enduring joy and eternity with those we love are the very essence of God’s plan of happiness. His lovingly prepared way can make our eternal journey happy and forever. We have much to celebrate and for which to be grateful. God our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son live. They offer peace, joy, and healing to each of us. The Lord’s prophet is leading the way. May we draw closer to our Savior in the holy house of the Lord, and may He draw us closer to God and each other as we knit our hearts together in Christ-given compassion, truth, and mercy in all our generations—in time and eternity, happy and forever.” – Elder Gerrit W. Gong

Sun's Rays

 

There was so much hype before the Segway came out. It would change the way we get around; even change the way cities are designed. Steve Jobs claimed it was “as big a deal as the PC.” When we finally tried one, we were less than impressed. For a while, you could test-drive Segways in what used to be Disneyland’s Carousel of Progress. There were Segway tours of Disney’s Fort Wilderness Resort in Florida. Eventually, Disney decided the “human transport” vehicles were dangerously unstable, and banned them from the parks. The US and UK came to the same conclusion. It didn’t stop the owner of the Segway company, Jimi Heselden, from using one to tool around his West Yorkshire estate. Jimi, who’d recently acquired the company via takeover, was found dead with his self-balancing scooter, at the base of a cliff. Moral: anything as expensive as a Disney trip that ISN’T a Disney trip is probably a bad idea.

Two Dozen Butterflies

 

On December 9, 2021, a school student in Muskogee, Oklahoma was trying to remove the lid from his water bottle with his teeth. The cap slipped and became lodged in the student’s throat, choking him. Eleven-year-old Davyon Johnson, who wants to become an EMT someday, performed the Heimlich maneuver, which he’d learned on YouTube. “I burped him, kind of,” said Davyon. The cap popped right out. Later in the evening ON THE SAME DAY, the sixth-grader was on his way home when he happened upon a house fire. The back of the house was burning, and a disabled woman was trying to get off her front porch. Davyon helped her down and into her truck. The Muskogee Police Department, Sheriff’s Office and school board awarded Davyon for his heroism. The sad thing is, no matter how long this kid lives, he’ll probably never top his accomplishments on a single day back in the sixth grade.

Starlight

 

I don’t know how Roc lost his family. Maybe someone left a door open for a moment. Maybe he wriggled under a gate or jumped the fence. Maybe he slipped his collar and went on walkabout. I know it happened on a hot summer day in 2019, in North Charleston, South Carolina. His family did everything they could think of to find their dog and bring him home, but Roc was simply gone. Until this week, that is. Roc was found living as a stray in St. Stephen, more than thirty miles away. He was brought to the Berkeley Animal Center, where his microchip was read and he was reunited with the family who’d been missing him three and a half years. Had Roc walked all that way on his own? Was he a stray, living by his wits the whole time? His loved ones may never know. But at least they have their sweet boy back again. 

Forty-nine Wonky Log Cabins

 

I’ve written here a few times about people who’ve lost wedding rings and later found them in gardens with carrots growing in them. Maybe it’s time some other vegetables get in on the act. Kevin Butler of Windham, N.H. had just taken his trash to a transfer station when his wife said her wedding rings were missing. She’d cleaned the rings and placed them in a paper napkin to dry, but the rings and the napkin weren’t where she’d left them. Kevin rushed back to the transfer station, where he and the staff combed through twenty tons of rubbish. It was like looking for a needle in a really big, smelly haystack. Kevin saw stalks of celery poking through one of the bags and remembered there’d been celery among his garbage. Sure enough, the bag with the celery also contained a napkin and Mrs. Butler’s wedding rings. Kevin rewarded the staff for their help by treating them to pizza. 

Red and Black Log Cabin

 

I had more than a few people ask about the recipe for sauerkraut cookies I mentioned last Wednesday. Yes, the recipe really does call for pickled cabbage. No, the finished cookies taste nothing like pickled cabbage. My grandkids won’t touch these with a ten-foot pole. Not because of allergies or because they don’t like sauerkraut. It’s because they’re all afraid to try nuts.

 

Sauerkraut Cookies

 

2/3 cup butter

2 eggs

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 1/2 cups flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup water

1/2 cup Dutch-processed cocoa

1 1/2 cups cashews or pecans, chopped

12 ounces chocolate chips

1 cup sauerkraut, rinsed and well drained

 

Cream together butter and sugar; beat in eggs and vanilla. Add all dry ingredients and water. Mix well. Add nuts, chocolate chips and kraut. Mix and drop by heaping teaspoonfuls onto parchment or silicone-covered cookie sheets. Bake about 12 minutes at 350F.

Cottage Garden

 

“Pilots fly within the capacity of their aircraft. Simply stated, pilots operate within a framework. No matter how brilliant or talented they are, only by flying within this framework can pilots safely unleash the potential of an airplane. The promise of personal revelation through the Holy Ghost is awe-inspiring, much like an airplane in flight. Like airplane pilots, we need to understand the framework within which the Holy Ghost functions to provide personal revelation. When we operate within the framework, the Holy Ghost can unleash astonishing insight, direction, and comfort. Outside that framework, no matter our brilliance or talent, we can be deceived and crash and burn. The scriptures form the first element of this framework for personal revelation. Feasting on the words of Christ stimulates personal revelation. When we want to speak to God, we pray. When we want Him to speak to us, we search the scriptures.” – Elder Dale G. Renlund

One Dozen Rolling Stones

 

We’re having this for dinner next week, along with homemade gyros:

 

Greek Salad

 

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon oregano

1/2 teaspoon Dijon

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1/2 cup good oil

1 English cucumber, seeded and sliced 1/4-inch thick

1 red and 1 yellow bell pepper, coarsely chopped

1 pint cherry or grape tomatoes, halved

1/2 red onion, sliced in half-rounds

8 ounces feta, cubed

1/2 cup pitted calamatas

 

Whisk together first six ingredients. Still whisking, gradually add oil; set aside. Place remaining ingredients in large bowl. Pour dressing over and toss to coat. Serve immediately.

Fanfare

 

Cheddar is a village in Somerset, England. It’s known for limestone quarries, strawberry fields, and of course, cheese. People have been living here for thousands of years. Britain’s oldest complete skeleton, the Cheddar man, was found here in 1903. Scientists recently extracted DNA from one of Cheddar man’s teeth, and compared its mitochondrial DNA – inherited unchanged on the maternal line -- with samples of mitochondrial DNA from students at a local school. They also compared it with samples donated by members of Cheddar’s oldest families. They came up with a match; not with the students or neighbors, but with one of the school teachers, Adrian Targett. The results don’t prove or disprove much: not that folks in Cheddar were hunter-gatherers or farmers 9,000 years ago, nor that Mr. Targett descended from the stone-age fossil. It only proves he and Cheddar man have a common female ancestor. Still, how cool is that?

Four Dozen Wonky Log Cabins

 

We love to have sauerkraut as a side dish with bratwurst or hot dogs. The best sauerkraut (if you’re not making it yourself) comes in large glass jars, not small tin cans. The trouble is, we don’t have brats or dogs often enough to use a large jar of kraut before it goes bad. I have a few recipes to use up the remainder (one is actually a cookie recipe). This is probably the most family-friendly.

 

Sauerkraut Casserole

 

1 quart sauerkraut (Don’t drain!)

1 cup onion, diced

1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes, drained

1/2 pound bacon, cooked crisp and crumbled (Reserve 3 tablespoons drippings.)

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

 

Sauté onions in reserved bacon fat until tender and transparent. Combine with remaining ingredients in shallow baking dish. Bake at 350F for one hour. Serve hot with buttered crusty bread.

Flying Geese Squared

 

In November, 2017 I wrote about a homeless veteran, Johnny Bobbitt Jr. who gave his last $20 to help a young woman whose car had run out of gas. The woman, Kate McClure, and Mark D'Amico, her boyfriend, McClure and D’Amico then set up a GoFundMe account, ostensibly to help Bobbitt. As I always do, I fact-checked the story before sharing it. But the whole thing was a scam. McClure and D’Amico invented the tale to collect more than $400,000, which they spent on an RV, a BMW, and casino trips. It was – at the time – the largest fraud involving a crowd-funding platform. By the following spring, the money was gone. Bobbitt sued the couple; federal and state criminal investigations were launched. Bobbitt was sentenced to probation, and McClure and D’Amico are both serving time in prison. What started as a feel-good story ended up as a sad commentary on deceit and greed.

Yellow Cottage

 

Last week, Heather and I made two apple pies: one to serve at game night, and the other to give to very dear friends. When we were done, there were five small apples left over, so we made this recipe. We had it for breakfast the next morning, with whipped cream over a Dutch baby – a puffed oven pancake.

 

Apple Pie Filling

 

4 medium apples

1/3 cup sugar (We usually just use 1/4 cup.)

3 tablespoons water

2 tablespoons butter

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon cornstarch

2 tablespoons water

 

Peel, core and slice apples (about 16 slices per apple), or cut into chunks. Melt butter with cinnamon over medium heat. Stir in apples, sugar, and 2 tablespoons water. Cover and cook on low about 6 minutes, until apples are tender but not mushy. Combine cornstarch and remaining water; pour into apples while stirring. Continue cooking and stirring until sauce begins to thicken. Delicious over pancakes, French toast and waffles.

Purple Economy Block

 

"I invite you to seek opportunities to bear your testimony in word and in deed. Such an opportunity came to me recently, at the end of a meeting with the mayor of a capital city in South America, in his chambers with a number of his cabinet officials. As we concluded with very cordial feelings, I hesitantly thought I should share my testimony. Following the prompting, I offered a witness that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and the Savior of the world. Everything changed at that moment. The Spirit in the room was undeniable. It seemed everyone was touched. “The Comforter … beareth record of the Father and of the Son” (D&C 42:17). I am so grateful I summoned the courage to bear my testimony. When a moment like this comes, grab it and embrace it. You will feel the warmth of the Comforter inside you when you do." – Elder Gary E. Stevenson

Scrappy Checkerboard

 

On this day in 1572, Pope Gregory XIII was born. He’s the pope who commissioned the calendar most of the world uses. Of course, he wasn’t called Gregory when he was born. His parents named him Ugo. (I guess we’re pretty lucky we’re not using the Ugonian calendar.) On this day in 1964, Nicholas Cage was born. He’s famous for several movies like It Could Happen to You, National Treasure, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and The Family Man. He’s also famous for blowing his fortune on dinosaur bones, Lamborghinis and islands in the Bahamas. On this day in 1971, Jeremy Renner was born: the actor who portrayed Hawkeye in several Marvel movies. He’s currently in hospital, recovering from being run over by a 7-ton snow plow. But the most important person to be born on this day was Heather, in 1986. An event as significant as this can’t just be celebrated in one day. We started Friday, and we'll still be partying Monday.

Four Chain Letters

 

Nothing in the world beats the taste of fresh summer peaches in their prime. But it’s a LONG time until peaches are in season again. While you’re waiting, you can always whip up a batch of

 

Blender Peach Ice Cream

 

1 1/2 cups whole milk

2 tablespoons honey

3 cups frozen peach slices (If you didn’t freeze peaches last summer, use store-bought)

 

Place milk and honey in blender; cover and puree. Gradually add peach slices, blending between additions. Once the mixture is smooth, pour into a glass loaf pan. Cover with plastic wrap or foil and freeze until firm. This ice cream is delicious in a waffle cup with raspberry sauce and whipped cream.

Simplify Christmas

 

According to Mel Tormé, “The Christmas Song” was written during a record heat wave in 1945. What may surprise you even more is Tormé and his lyricist, Robert Wells, were both Jewish. Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne, who cowrote “Let It Snow,” were Jewish as well. Irving Berlin, who gave us “White Christmas,” was the son of a cantor. “Silver Bells,” “Winter Wonderland” and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” were all written by Jewish composers and lyricists. Joan Javits and Phil Springer, the only two on this list still living, wrote “Santa Baby.” Last week I wrote about the Jewish songwriter who gave us “Rudolph,” “Silver and Gold,” “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and “Holly Jolly Christmas,” but there are lots more. Why were so many beloved Christmas songs written by people who didn’t celebrate Christmas? Party because for most of the 20th century, antisemitism was a given in the U.S., in nearly every industry – except entertainment.

Forty-Two Wonky Log Cabins

 

1,    What country has the highest life expectancy?

2.       Who has won the most Academy Awards?

3.       Which planet has the most moons?

4.       How many bones are in your ear?

5.       Where would you be if you were standing on the Spanish Steps?

6.       How many hearts does an octopus have?

7.       Which character was portrayed by Robert Downey Jr. and Benedict Cumberbatch?

8.       Who discovered the earth revolves around the sun?

9.       In what country would you find Mount Kilimanjaro?

10.   Which company was originally named “Cadabra?”

Trivia questions are like a workout for your mind. They exercise the brain's frontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for memory function. This improves cognitive skills and problem-solving abilities. Today is National Trivia Day. It’s a great time to challenge your cognitive skills. Now for the answers:

1.       Hong Kong

2.       Walt Disney

3.       Saturn

4.       Three

5.       Rome

6.       Three

7.       Sherlock Holmes

8.       Nicolaus Copernicus

9.       Tanzania

10.   Amazon

Twenty Butterflies

 

I’ve posted several slow cooker recipes in the past year. Nearly all of them can be prepared weeks or months ahead and stored in zipper bags in the freezer until needed. Just thaw the bag in the fridge before cooking, or add a bit to the cook time.

 

Slow Cooker Honey Sesame Chicken

 

1 small onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup honey

1/2 cup soy sauce

1/4 cup ketchup

2 tablespoons oil

1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts (thighs work, too)

 

In a large bowl, combine onion, garlic, honey, soy sauce, ketchup, oil and pepper flakes. Place chicken in slow cooker. Add honey mixture and gently toss to combine. Cover and cook on low about three and a half hours. Remove and shred chicken; return to slow cooker. Cover and continue cooking another half hour. Serve over fresh greens or hot rice, with sliced green onion and sesame seeds as a garnish.

Forty-two Louisiana Blocks

 

“I’ve shared the Book of Mormon with India’s Ambassador to the United Nations in Geneva; with His Holiness Patriarch Bartholomew of the Eastern Orthodox Church; and many others. I’ve felt the Spirit of the Lord with us as I have personally handed them this keystone of our religion and borne my witness of Jesus Christ, the cornerstone of our faith. I invite you, this day, to give a Book of Mormon to your friends and family, your associates at work, your soccer coach, or the produce man at your market. They need the words of the Lord found in this book. They need answers to the questions of everyday life and of eternal life to come. They need to know of the covenant path laid out before them and the Lord’s abiding love for them. It’s all here in the Book of Mormon.” – Elder Ronald A. Rasband