Forty-Nine Diversions

 

“Obstacles will come. Let us not wait for things to get hard before turning to God. Let us not wait until the end of our mortal lives to truly repent. Instead, let us now, no matter which part of the covenant path we are on, focus on the redemptive power of Jesus Christ and on Heavenly Father’s desire for us to return to Him. The Lord’s house, His holy scriptures, His holy prophets and apostles inspire us to strive towards personal holiness through the doctrine of Christ. And Nephi said: ‘And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man [and woman] can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.’” – Elder Jorge M. Alvarado

Grandmother's Choice

 

If you’ve ever grown carrots, you know what comes out of the ground looks nothing like what’s in the store. Some carrots will be stubby, and some will be broken. Some have two or three “legs.” Some twist around each other. If you grow ugly carrots, you eat ugly carrots. They taste fine. But no one BUYS ugly carrots. Store carrots are pretty because all the ugly ones were thrown away. Mike Yurosek, a California carrot farmer, hated to see up to 70% of his crop going to waste because it wasn’t pretty. So, Mike repurposed a bean-cutting machine to chop his ugly carrots into two-inch pieces. He peeled them with a rough stone roller and polished them with a smooth stone roller, and packaged them as Bunny Luv Baby Carrots. That was 1986. A year later, U.S. carrot consumption had increased by 30%. Today, baby carrots account for more than 70% of all carrot sales.

Black String Block

 String quilting is a technique where long, thing strips of left-over fabric are sewn to a foundation to create a scrappy, free-form quilt top. These thin fabric strips are sometimes referred to as “strings.” String quilting is more than just a creative way to use up scraps. The easy, forgiving nature of this technique can be a very welcome break after working with a fussy pattern that’s difficult to read or to master. This year, the members of our quilt guild are working individually on quilts drawn entirely from our stashes. I already have a few projects underway that might fit that bill. Somehow, none are making much of a dent in my stash. Worse, digging through every box and bin to find just the right print has my sewing room looking like it was hit by a tornado. But if the finished product is anything like the quilt in my head, it will all be worth it.

Stitched with Love

 

The word quilting comes from the Latin culcita, meaning stuffed sack or cushion. By the 14th century, “quilt” referred to stitching fabric layers together. Dating back to 1360-1400, the Tristan Quilt is one of the oldest known surviving quilts. It features scenes from the tale of Tristan and Isolde and is housed in London’s Victoria and Albert Museum. The world’s largest quilt is the AIDS Memorial Quilt, weighing over 54 tons and covering 1.2 million square feet. Early American quilts were essential for warmth. They were used as bedding, but also to cover doors and windows to block drafts. Amish quilts, known for bold colors and intricate stitching, are considered valuable (and collectable) folk art. The civil war-era piece known as the Reconciliation Quilt is one of the most expensive quilts ever sold, bringing $254,000 at auction in 1991. Quilting is still a popular pastime in the U.S., with over 21 million engaging in this useful and enjoyable hobby. Happy National Quilting Month!

Irish Spring

 

In 2009, an employee who worked for the Unlimited IT call center in Howick, South Africa became so frustrated, he told his boss, “The Internet here is so slow, a pigeon would deliver these files faster.” The company decided to put his theory to the test. They hired a pigeon fancier with an eleven-month-old bird named Winston to race against their Internet connection. Winston wore a pocket with a 4gb USB stick when he was released from the Unlimited IT office in Howick. He headed “home” to Durban, about 60 miles away. At the same time, an employee began transferring the same files via their Internet connection. Hundreds of South Africans followed the race on Facebook and Twitter. Winston arrived in Durban an hour and eight minutes later, and it took another hour to upload the files from the USB stick. In that same amount of time, only 4% of the online data transfer had been completed. 

Flying Dutchman

 

“Three things that you must come to accept. One: self-control is strength, and calmness is mastery. You must get to the point where your mood doesn’t shift based on someone else’s actions. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow emotions to overpower your intelligence. Two: stop being afraid to spend money. You go out and spend $100 on good food. So what? You had a good time with your friends. You spend $1000 to travel. So what? Your time on this planet is a gift. You can always replace money, but you can’t replace time. Three: in three generations, everyone who knows you will be gone, including the people whose opinions stopped you from doing what you wanted to do all along. Imagine someone you know achieved every dream and hit every goal. After they’re gone, how much would you care? If you accomplish your goals and dreams, do it for yourself.” – Anthony Hopkins 

Four Dozen Diversions

 

“The words of our dear prophet still echo in my mind: ‘God wants us to work together and help each other. That is why He sends us to earth in families and organizes us into wards and stakes. That is why He asks us to serve and minister to each other. That is why He asks us to live in the world but not be of the world.’ When our lives are filled with purpose and service, we avoid spiritual apathy; on the other hand, when our lives are deprived of divine purpose, meaningful service to others, and sacred opportunities for pondering and reflection, we gradually become suffocated by our own activity and self-interest, risking losing our savor. The antidote to this is to continue to be involved in service—being anxiously engaged in good works and the betterment of ourselves and the society we live in.” – Elder José A. Teixeira

English Wedding Ring

 

Heather has always had a problem with depth perception (it’s common in people with Down Syndrome), but it’s become worse these past few years. Because she can’t tell if a curb is three or nine inches high, she seeks out curb cutouts, which she calls “ramps.” Curb cutouts exist because a navy veteran and lawyer from Kalamazoo, Jack Fisher, pushed to make cities more accessible for disabled veterans returning from World War II. Three decades later in Berkeley, California, a movement led by college students and disabled activists brought about the first curb cutouts in that city in 1972. Curb cutouts not only benefit the wheelchair-bound veterans they were intended for, but also people with walkers, canes, strollers and wagons, and postal workers with heavy packages. And people like Heather, who can’t negotiate curbs safely. This phenomenon is called “the curb cutout effect:” accessibility meant for disabled folk that unintentionally helps so many more. 

Seventy-Two Delectable Mountains

 

Dances with Wolves (1990), is a film about a post-civil war U.S. Army officer who deserts his unit to live with the Lakota. He learns their language and protects them, eventually becoming one of their leaders. Ferngully: the Last Rainforest (1992) is an animated movie about a young man who learns to appreciate the rainforest and its inhabitants, and fights to protect them from corporate greed. Avatar (2009) is a CGI sci-fi flick about a disabled veteran who finds purpose on an alien planet, protecting the indigenous population and assimilating into their culture. Essentially, they’re the same movie, except that one has buffalo, one has ground-breaking (for its day) computer animation, and one has Robin Williams. If you’re only going to watch one, I’d recommend Ferngully. It’s only 76 minutes long, while Avatar is 162 and Dances with Wolves is 181. And, of course, there’s Robin Williams. 

Side Step Top

 

The first quilt top I made for the quilters at Intermountain Medical Center was a scrappy snowball block affair in blues and creams. I’d started stitching the top on my British Janome days before we left England, and finished it on a borrowed machine at the Residence Inn. I packed the top, back and binding in my carry-on bag, so it wouldn’t be lost (as several things were) in our overseas shipment. Since then, I’ve designed, pieced and donated thirty-four queen-sized quilts for the hospital volunteers to hand-quilt. Today’s top – also in scrappy blues – would have been number thirty-five. I’d have been happy to make thirty-five more. But the quilters, once a formidable group, have dwindled until there’s only one left. We’ve search in vain for new quilters join her. She says when she started hand-quilting, it was a fun, social affair. Now, it’s neither fun nor social. So, she’s done. I guess that means I am, too.

Starburst

 

We were preparing to celebrate our first Christmas in England. Until that year, one of our traditions was visiting a Hallmark shop and choosing an ornament for the tree. The nearest Hallmark was quite a drive, and when we arrived, we found they didn’t sell ornaments. But there was a charming local museum nearby, and we happily explored that instead. One item on display that caught my eye was a blue-and-white transferware plate commissioned in 1977 for the queen’s silver jubilee. John was in the US Navy that year; his ship was there as part of the celebration. I told him he should have known someday he’d marry someone mad for blue-and-white china, and he should have snagged one for me. It took many weeks, but I acquired my own plate at auction. Today, it sits atop a plate rack the previous owners left behind, in a house that was built the year of the silver jubilee.

Dragon's Head

 

“I bet she’ll be pretty”, they say at her cot.

I wonder what this means so I ask, “Pretty what”?

Pretty bold? Pretty bright? Pretty wise, loud and brave”?

Ah, but they just mean her face and they hope she’ll behave.

But I hope my daughter doesn’t do as she’s told.

As long as she’s safe I hope my daughter is bold.

She questions the world, she fights as she’ll stand.

She knows she has powers great as any man.

She is sporty or creative. She has so much to say.

She is kind and inquisitive and changes the world each day

When she becomes a teen, I know the world will seem tight.

But a small box to fill and then she’ll be bright

I hope she knows her beauty doesn’t come from her face.

That being a woman doesn’t mean knowing your place.

And I hope she is happy and fights for her choice.

Yes, I hope my future daughter always uses her voice. – Kiara Whittle

March Door Banner

 

“June 27, 1844, Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum were murdered. Joseph’s body was laid to rest, but his testimony continues to reverberate around the world and in my soul: ‘I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it. I never told you I was perfect; but there is no error in the revelations which I have taught.’ I believe and am sure Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. I testify the living God is our loving Father. I know this because the voice of the Lord has spoken it to me, and so has the voice of His servants, the apostles and prophets, including and beginning with Joseph Smith. I testify Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God. He was blessed to open the last dispensation, and we are blessed that he did.” – Elder Kyle S. McKay

Forty-Two Side Steps

 

The corn dogs at Hot Dog on a Stick are kind of hit-and-miss. Sometimes you’ll get a good one, but more often it will come with undercooked cornmeal batter or be fried in oil that should have been made into biofuel long ago. They frequently serve corn dogs at my grandson’s elementary school. I haven’t tasted them, but half the kids strip theirs and eat only the dogs. The other half toss the dogs and eat only the corn bread. So, how good can they be? The best corn dogs in my opinion come from the Little Red Wagon just off Main Street, USA. They’ve been serving corn dogs there since the park opened, so they’ve had plenty of time to get it right. And honestly, I believe everything just tastes better at Disneyland. The third Saturday in March is Corn Dog Day. I think you already know where I wish I was having lunch today.

Sixty-Four Delectable Mountains

 

Josephine Garis was born in Ohio in 1839, the daughter of a civil engineer. She married William Cochran in Illinois in 1858. William sought his fortune in the California gold rush, but found it as a dry goods merchant and Democratic party politician. The Cochrans quickly became very well-to-do. They added an E to the end of their name, moved into a mansion and joined Chicago’s high society. After she threw a dinner party, Josephine was horrified to find her servants had chipped her porcelain while washing it. There were two hand-operated dishwashers on the market then (both invented by men) but they wet the dishes without getting them clean. Josephine proclaimed, “If nobody else is going to invent a dishwashing machine, I’ll do it myself.” Her creation debuted at Chicago’s World Colombian Exposition in 1893. The Cochranes founded the Crescent Washing Machine Company, which later became Kitchen Aid. 

Three Dozen Side Steps

 

Tabitha Babbitt was born in 1779 in Hardwick, Massachusetts. Tabitha grew up in a Shaker community, which meant she had the same education and opportunities a boy would have. As an adult, Tabitha and her husband owned a sawmill, and she was very involved and interested in the day-to-day work there. In Tabitha’s day, sawing wood was a two-person push-and-pull job. Tabitha realized wood was only being cut during the forward stroke, which meant half the required energy was wasted. She created a notched tin disk and attached it to her spinning wheel. Her new “circular saw” cut continuously, with no wasted motion. Many of Tabitha’s inventions – including circular saw, the accelerated spinning wheel head, the window frame and sash and even false teeth – are still in use today. But, because her Shaker beliefs prevented her from filing for patents, she seldom receives credit.

Flower Patch

 

I’m not sure exactly which year it happened; it must have been either 1989 or 1990. It was a busy morning, with two kids who had to get to school on time, and two preschoolers devoted to preventing all things from happening on time. I’d been doing laundry since before any of them were awake, and there was an essential item sopping wet in the washer – a favorite T-shirt, the “lucky” underwear, or the soccer socks with the two blue stripes. I’ve forgotten what “it” was, but I fished it out of the washer and added it to the nearly-dry clothes in the dryer. I closed the dryer door and turned it back on. The drum rotated twice, making a noise like gym sneakers. Only I wasn’t drying sneakers. I opened the door, and our deeply offended Persian cat jumped out. He wasn’t hurt, but I never recovered. I still can’t use a dryer without checking for cats.

Criss-Cross

 

Daylight Saving Time was put into place during WWI for energy conservation on the battlefield; not for farmers. Farmers have always hated DST. It wasn’t started by Benjamin Franklin, either. In 1905, William Willet was riding early one morning, and noticed most Londoners were still asleep. They were missing the lovely morning sun. So, he proposed DST in his pamphlet, “The Waste of Daylight.” William spent the rest of his life (and his fortune) trying to promote the idea. He died in 1915, the year Germans implemented DST to save coal. Britain did the same in 1916, and the U.S. followed in 1918. Americans hated it so much that in 1919, the law was overturned. It was left up to individual states to use DST or not. It got pretty messy, especially where air travel was concerned. The Uniform Time Act was passed in 1966, mandating DST across the U.S. Somehow, Arizona and Hawaii opted out. 

Forty-Two Diversions

 

“Brothers and sisters, mortality works! It is designed to work! Despite the challenges, heartaches, and difficulties we all face, our loving, wise, and perfect Heavenly Father has designed the plan of happiness such that we are not destined to fail. His plan provides a way for us to rise above our mortal failures. The Lord has said, ‘This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’ Nonetheless, if we are to be the beneficiaries of the Lord’s work and glory, even immortality and eternal life, we must expect to be schooled and taught and to pass through the refiner’s fire—sometimes to our utter limits. To completely avoid the problems, challenges, and difficulties of this world would be to sidestep the process that is truly necessary for mortality to work. We were not sent here to fail but to succeed in God’s plan for us.” – Elder Brook P. Hales

Thirty Side Steps

 

“Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially.” – Julie B. Beck

“We need more of the distinctive, influential voices and faith of women. We need them to learn the doctrine and to understand what we believe so that they can bear their testimonies about the truth of all things.” – M. Russell Ballard

“Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Throw away the mirrors and look through the window.” – Cheryl A. Esplin

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” – President Brigham Young

Kissing Geese

 

Wild geese can live up to fifteen years, though they’re more likely to live longer in protected areas. As far as we know, geese mate for life. (I should note we used to believe that about penguins, until someone started DNA testing their chicks.) When flying long distances, geese adopt a V-formation to reduce drag, conserve energy, and increase their flying range. The collective noun for geese is gaggle, but only while they’re on the ground. When they’re flying together, a group of geese is called a wedge or a skein. I don't know the collective noun for swimming geese. Maybe a flotilla? Geese are primarily herbivores, but they’ve been known to eat insects and small fish. If you’d like to feed the wild geese in your neighborhood, skip the bread. It’s not healthy for them, and can attract vermin. Instead, try offering them cracked corn, leafy greens like lettuce, kale, or chard, or chopped vegetables like carrots, peas or green beans.

Twenty-Five Side Steps

I love my gas range. I really do. But it may not be the healthiest choice, especially for people with asthma and other respiratory issues. This lovely and efficient appliance is probably adding to the nitrogen dioxide, carbon monoxide and benzene inside our home. So, we crack open windows from time to time. And whenever we can, we use the microwave, electric kettle, egg steamer, and the outdoor grill. And we use the slow cooker a LOT. Tonight, we're having this:

 

Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff

 

1 pound cubed beef

8 ounces mushrooms, sliced

1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed golden mushroom soup

1/2 cup onion, chopped

1/4 cup water

1 tablespoon Worcestershire

4 ounces cream cheese

 

Put all ingredients in slow cooker; cover and cook on low six hours. Stir and serve over hot egg noodles, topped with a dollop of sour cream.

 

Twirl

 

Over the years, treatment for jaundice included blood-letting, laxatives, and enemas. If a patient recovered, it was often in spite of the treatment rather than because of it. During the 1950’s, Sister Jean Ward was head nurse of the premature nursery at Rochford General Hospital in Essex. She believed fresh air and sunshine were better for babies than stuffy hospital rooms. On warm sunny days, she’d wheel the babies in her charge – cribs and all – outside into the hospital courtyard. She began to observe the babies' jaundice improved after being in sunlight; specifically, the exposed skin was less yellow than skin under clothing or blankets. She showed her discovery to doctors, who were less than impressed. They continued to promote the accepted treatment – exchange blood transfusion, despite the obvious risks. It took decades, but the medical world finally came around. In 1982, our baby boy recovered on a blanket in the garden instead of a hospital ward.

Crazy Ann

 

January 8 2015, a wave swept 22-year-old American tourist Frank Jade from the deck of Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas. Somehow, none of the 6,360 passengers and 2,394 crew members saw him fall or noticed his absence. Cruise ships should have detection systems in place for this event, but the Oasis of the Seas did not. (Royal Caribbean was later censured for violating the 2010 Cruise Vessel Safety/Security Act.) Frank could only watch helplessly as his ship sailed away without him. Miraculously, Frank was spotted by passengers aboard the appropriately named Disney Magic. Tom Parsons, a vacationing fire chief from Ithaca, threw him life preservers. The Magic lowered a rescue boat to retrieve him. The cruise ship made an unscheduled stop in Mexico so Frank could receive medical attention. I don’t suppose many people can say they started a voyage on one of the cheapest cruise lines and ended it on one of the most expensive.

Three Dozen Diversions

“President Nelson has repeatedly pled with us to make time for the Lord in our lives every day. He reminds us quiet time is sacred time—time which facilitates personal revelation and instills peace. To hear the still voice of the Lord, you too must be still. Being still requires more than just making time. It requires letting go of doubtful and fearful thoughts and focusing our hearts and minds on Him. Elder David A. Bednar taught, ‘The Lord’s admonition to be still entails much more than simply not talking or not moving.’ To be still, he suggested, ‘may be a way to focus upon the Savior unfailingly.’ Being still is an act of faith and requires effort. President Nelson declared: ‘Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought. When we do, our doubts and fears flee.’” – Bishop L. Todd Budge

Two Dozen Side Steps

 

Its scientific name is amorphophallus titanum, which means, “misshapen giant.” In its native Indonesia, it’s called bunga bangkai. Much of the world calls it a corpse flower, primarily because of the way it smells. It has a complex aroma, with notes of garlic, moldy cheese, sweaty gym socks, decaying fish and boiled cabbage. But mostly, it smells like rotting flesh. The 6- to 8-foot flower generates heat, which helps spread the odor. On a good night, you can smell it half a mile away. The purpose of the stink is to attract pollinators like flies and carrion beetles. The corpse flower blooms for a day or two every seven to fifteen years. Their population is declining in the wild, but when one blossoms in a botanical garden, it attracts tens of thousands of curious human visitors. They’re notoriously difficult to propagate, but if you’d like to give it a try, there are seeds for sale on Amazon.