Eighteen Leap Frogs

 

Wikipedia calls Centralia, Pennsylvania a “near ghost town,” because it has four residents. In the 1950’s, there were nearly 2,000 people living there. In May, 1962, the borough council hired volunteer firemen to “clear” the town landfill, meaning they were to burn the trash, then put the fire out. The area had been an old strip mine, above a warren of coal mine shafts dating from the 1860’s. There should have been a layer of fireproof clay between the trash and the mines, but someone dropped that ball. In 1979, a service station owner noticed his gas was very hot. A thermometer lowered in the underground tank read 172 degrees. A 12-year-old boy nearly died when a 150-foot sinkhole opened in his grandma’s back yard. Carbon monoxide spewed from the ground. In 1983, Congress allocated $42 million to relocate residents and demolish homes and businesses. It’s estimated the underground fire will continue burning another 200 years.

Green Bat

 

They started showing up the day after July 4th, and now there are displays of Halloween-themed merchandise absolutely everywhere. Halloween is exactly two months away. While there are plenty of minor holidays between now and then, none of them seem to drive consumers to whip out their pocketbooks like the spooky end of October. So, store windows that held red-white-and-blue everything just a few weeks ago are now full of orange, black, purple, and slime green. There’s even a name for this odd phenomenon. It’s called “Summerween.” I think the Disney program “Gravity Falls” coined the term back in 2012. In the show, Summerween fell on June 22nd, and I’m sure die-hard fans still observe that date. But it might be more rewarding to celebrate sometime in August. It’s a great excuse for dragging out your 20-foot skeleton several weeks early. Pumpkins aren’t available just yet, but you could try your hand at carving Jack-o-melons. 

Gold Star

 

You know Murphy’s Law. Do you know these?

Parkinson’s Law: “A task always expands to fill the allotted time.”

Hofstadter’s Law: “Everything takes longer than expected, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law."

Hanlon’s Razor: “Don’t attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.”

The Pareto Principle: “Roughly 80% of outcomes result from 20% of causes.”

The Peter Principle: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence.”

Hick’s Law: “The time it takes to make a decision increases logarithmically with the number of choices available.”

Goodhart’s Law: “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.”

The Dunning-Krueger Effect: “People with low ability overestimate their competence, while highly skilled individuals underestimate theirs.”

Occam’s Razor: “Of two competing theories, the simpler explanation is to be preferred.”

Chesterton’s Fence: “Look before you leap; understand before you take action.”

Brook’s Law: “Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.”

Corn and Tomatoes

 

Jeffrey “Roofman” Manchester was born in Sacramento in 1971. After high school, he served in the Army, where he learned weapons handling, rappelling, and several other skills he would use later as a career criminal. Before embarking on his crime spree, Jeffrey was a McDonald’s worker. In November, 1998, he began robbing businesses – most of them McDonald’s locations. He’d start by meticulously casing the joint. Then, late at night or early in the morning, he’d climb to the roof, drill or saw a hole, and enter the building. He’d wait until employees showed up, then hold them at gunpoint and lock them in the freezer while he emptied the cash registers. Jeffrey used this method for up to 60 robberies across the country. He was caught and incarcerated, but escaped prison by hiding in a truck undercarriage. For several months he evaded capture by living in a Toys “R” Us, eating candy and baby food off the shelves.

Twenty Kitty Cats

 

Darius Salem Clement, my third great-grandfather, was eight years old when his father died in New York. His mother took her young children to Nauvoo, and when the Saints abandoned their “City Beautiful,” she followed. She died along with her oldest son and daughter at Winter Quarters, leaving Darius to walk the rest of the way to Zion with his younger brother and sister. I think of them whenever I hear the song, "Pioneer Children." They arrived in the Salt Lake valley in 1848, when Darius was just 14 years old. Darius worked at the Archibald Gardner Mill with his uncle Warren Foote. (Yes, this is the same mill that today houses Archibald’s Restaurant in Gardner Village.) Later, when Warren built his own mill between the Big and Little Cottonwood creeks, Darius worked with him there, too. His grandchildren spoke of him as a quiet man who loved tending his orchard, his garden and his bees.

Four Tomatoes

 

“As we extend Christlike love to each person we serve, our eyes are opened to their divine potential. We begin to see them as the Lord sees them—mortal souls with the capacity to become exalted beings through the Savior’s restoring power and grace. As we care for each soul, we help connect them to the Savior, inviting them to be healed and transformed through His atoning blood. In return, our own lives are blessed—we become more like the Savior and are filled with great joy. My dear brothers and sisters, as one of His special witnesses, I testify that our Savior, Jesus Christ, loves us more than we can ever imagine. In the words of the hymn, ‘For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.’” – Elder Gérald Caussé

Sixteen Leap Frogs

 

George Reynolds, my second great-grandfather, was a nine-year-old boy in England when he met his first Mormon; his grandmother’s maid. He attended the Paddington Branch with her and wanted to be baptized. His family was furious. They sent him to a boarding school in France, but he managed to be baptized at age 14. George was 21 when he was called to serve as George Q. Cannon’s private secretary and emigration clerk of the Liverpool Mission. He made arrangements for thousands of European converts to come to Zion before he was able to make the trip himself. He took a steamer to New York, a train through St. Louis, a river boat to Nebraska City and a stage coach to Denver. The Sioux nation was on the warpath at the time, so George and two companions had to make most of the rest of their journey by mule. They travelled at night, careful not to light any fires, to avoid being seen.

Two Tomatoes

 

My third great grandfather, Henry Weeks Sanderson, was born in Massachusetts in 1829. His parents became converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and moved to Nauvoo in 1843. He wrote in his journal about hearing the news of Joseph Smith’s martyrdom less than a year later. Henry was only 17 when the Saints arrived at Council Bluffs, but he was accepted as a member of the Mormon Battalion in Company D. The battalion made a grueling 2,000-mile march from Iowa to San Diego, helping the U.S. secure much of the American Southwest, and opening a southern wagon route to California. Henry never made it all the way to the coast. He rejoined the Saints in the Salt Lake valley with a detachment of sick soldiers from Pueblo, five days after the original band of pioneers arrived. He was not yet 19. 

United

 

Tomorrow is Pioneer Day, a holiday in Utah, Idaho and Arizona honoring the explorers, homesteaders and refugees who made the intermountain west their home. One of them, John Nebeker, was my third great-grandfather. John was the second of 13 children, born in Delaware in 1813. He and his bride were in their twenties living in Illinois when they met with missionaries and were baptized. Determined to follow the Saints wherever they went, he went to Winter Quarters where he fitted three wagons with oxen and gave them to Brigham Young for the first company to cross the plains. Brother Brigham asked him to stay and help the second company prepare for the journey. John arrived in the valley with the second company September 26, 1847. He cut the first wheat crop harvested in the Intermountain region. His farm was where West High School stands today. Some of John’s children founded Laketown, on the shores of Bear Lake.

A Pair of Ears

 

Did you know your ears never really go to sleep? Even when you’re dreaming, your ears constantly process sounds. This is why a loud thunderstorm or a smoke detector can wake you in the dead of night. Your middle ear contains the tiniest bones in your body. They’re called malleus (hammer), incus (anvil), and stapes (stirrup). All three can easily fit on a penny. You’ve probably heard your ears and nose are the only parts of your body that never stop growing. This isn’t quite true. Your skeleton stopped growing during puberty. But ears and noses are made of cartilage, which stretches or sags as you age and appears to grow. Earwax protects your inner ear from dirt, bugs and bacteria. Ears are meant to be self-cleaning, if you don’t use Q-tips or other objects to impede the process. Most people use their right ear to process language, their left ear for music and other non-verbal sounds.

Eighteen Kitty Cats

 

Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon fifty-seven years ago yesterday. Over 600 million people worldwide watched the event on television. Many of us were convinced it wouldn’t be long before there’d be scientific outposts on the moon. Surely within our lifetimes, we’d book lunar vacations. That didn’t happen, and probably never will. One reason is the high cost of fuel we’d need to escape Earth’s gravity. Another is the hostile environment we’d need to deal with once we were there. Earth’s atmosphere protects us from solar radiation, cosmic rays, and micrometeorites. The moon has no such protection. Then there’s dust. The moon is covered with regolith: sharp, toxic, magnetic dust that infiltrates and destroys equipment and people. It chewed through astronauts’ boots, scratched visors and contaminated sample cases. Tracked into lunar modules, it became airborne and was inhaled, causing “lunar hay fever.” Short-term exposure means sneezing, congestion and sore throat. Long-term exposure threatens lungs.

Ripe Tomato

 

“Not only does the Savior know you, but He also wants you to come to know Him and His Father. In His great Intercessory Prayer, He declared, ‘This is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.’ He is the Good Shepherd, who leads us to green pastures and still waters. He is the Light of the World, who lights our path so that we need not walk in darkness. The question should never be ‘Will the Savior walk with me?’ He will. The real question is ‘Will I walk with Him?’ As we choose to walk with Jesus Christ, everything begins to change. He is no longer a casual acquaintance but a trusted heavenly friend. May I invite you to choose to remember Him and follow Him—not casually or occasionally but deliberately and always.” – Elder Clement M. Matswagothata

Fifteen Leap Frogs

 

William Kampiles always wanted to be a spy. While he was attending Indiana University in 1977, he was recruited by the CIA. He was given a job routing message traffic. I’m not sure what that means, but apparently it was very boring. He really wanted to work in the covert section of the CIA, but that would require a good deal of training. William had a better idea. He stole a top-secret KH-11 spy satellite manual from CIA headquarters, and quit his job. Then he flew to Athens and visited the Soviet embassy there. He offered them the stolen manual and was paid $3,000. The Soviets gave William a camera and told him to gather more secrets. William then contacted an agent and told him what he’d done. He thought the CIA would be impressed with his skills and make him a double agent. Instead, he was sent to prison. 

Ear of Corn

 

In 1825, a wealthy Welsh industrialist bought an American town to prove socialism could work. Robert Owen paid $150,000 for New Harmony, Indiana. His purchase included 20,000 acres, 160 buildings, working mills and farms. The town had been founded by German immigrants who’d later decided they’d rather be in Pennsylvania. Owen, who’d become rich running Scottish textile mills, believed if you removed private property and paid everyone equally, cooperation would naturally replace competition. He filled his town with educated, civilized, industrious people. But things fell apart almost immediately. The hardest workers resented being paid as much as those who did little or nothing. Production waned and food became scarce. Buildings decayed because no one owned them. Owen wrote seven different constitutions to fix the problem. None of them worked. Two years later, he admitted defeat. Owen blamed his settlers, saying they were “unprepared to be members of the community of common property and equality.”

Sunlight and Shadow

 

I just finished the novel I’ve been reading. I’ve got plenty of great books worth a second (or third or fourth) read, but I’m enjoying the convenience of an e-book. I can adjust the font (no reading glasses), and the screen is backlit (no itty-bitty book light). Lately I’ve been wading through murder mysteries and classics. What I need right now is a really funny book; one to make me laugh out loud. Here are some I’m considering:

A Walk in the Woods – Bill Bryson

The Best of Me – David Sedaris

The Princess Bride – William Goldman

A Long Way from Chicago – Richard Peck

One More Thing – B. J. Novak

Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

I Feel Bad About My Neck – Nora Ephron

If you know of a book that belongs on this list, I’d love to hear about it.

Green Maple Leaf

 

Victor Lustig was born in Bohemia in 1890. His father was a salesman who frequently brought Victor along on business trips across Europe. His school career was less than stellar, but he was fluent in six languages, including English, French, Italian, and Hungarian. Victor became a con man operating on ocean liners between France and New York. Sometimes he’d pose as a music director seeking investors for a Broadway production. Victor’s most infamous scam was selling the Eiffel tower. Twice. In 1925, he invited a group of scrap metal dealers to a meeting where he informed them the famous tower was crumbling and repairs were too expensive. Paris wanted it discretely removed, and Victor would be accepting bids. He pocketed the largest check (70,000 francs) and fled to Austria. The crazy thing is, as soon as he realized he’d gotten away with it, he pulled the same trick again with a different group of patsies.

Sixteen Kitty Cats

In 1916, fourteen-year-old Antonio Gentile submitted a drawing for a design contest to create a mascot for Planter’s Nut and Chocolate Company. His sketch of a peanut with arms and legs was selected, and Antonio won five dollars. Andrew S. Wallach – a commercial artist – added white gloves, a monocle, top hat, spats and a cane to create the Mr. Peanut that is still on every package. But the founder of Planter’s, Amedeo Obici, (Right now, are you asking yourself why his name wasn’t Planter, or why the company isn’t called Obici’s?) didn’t just hand the teen a five-dollar bill and move on. He became close with the Gentile family. He paid for Antonio’s education. He even footed the bill for schooling four of Antonio’s siblings. Antonio eventually became a doctor. His original crayon drawings of Mr. Peanut sat in a drawer for nearly a century until someone rediscovered them and donated them to the Smithsonian in 2014.

Golden Checkerboard

 

“Young men and women are peacemakers when they forgo the temporary pleasure of self-gratifying activities and involve themselves in service projects and other acts of kindness. Persons who seek to reduce human suffering and persons who work to promote understanding among different peoples are also important workers for peace. So are faithful mothers and fathers who lovingly care for their own children or shelter foster children and raise them in righteousness rather than leave them to be scarred and twisted by the sins of others. Our missionaries seek to be peacemakers. By inviting all to repent and come unto Christ, our missionaries are working for peace. As followers of Christ, let us follow Him by forgoing contention and by using the language and methods of peacemakers. In our families and other personal relationships, let us avoid what is harsh and hateful. Let us seek to be holy, like our Savior.” – President Dallin H. Oaks

Green Marble Frog

There are lots of unwritten rules that we follow, because our moms raised us that way, because it’s good manners, or because we’d rather not get punched in the face. Here are some:

Never use your speaker phone in public. Sharing the audio from your game or video at full volume is also considered rude.

Wash hands when using the bathroom. Be sure to shower regularly, too. Your nose is not designed to smell YOU, so it’s safe to assume you stink and act accordingly.

When entering a train, bus or elevator, let the people who are ON get off first.

Remember “please” and “thank you.” They really are magic words.

Don’t let your kids scream and run amok in public. We’re more likely to think your children are adorable if they’re also quiet and well-behaved.

There are more, but they all boil down to: "Do to others as you would have them do to you." – Luke 6:31

Night Music

 I think most people are aware John Wayne’s real name was Marion Robert Morrison, that Marilyn Monroe was born Norma Jean Mortensen, and that Cary Grant was really Archibald Alec Leach. But did you know Cher is short for Cheryl Sarkisian and Sonny was really Salvatore Phillip Bono? Vin Diesel’s real name – Mark Sinclair – makes him sound like such a milquetoast. So does Whoopi Goldberg’s (Caryn Elaine Johnson) and Elton John’s (Reginald Kenneth Dwight). Post Malone sounds like the kind of guy who’d cover himself with tattoos. Austin Richard Post does not. When Katy Perry started her singing career, she adopted her mother’s maiden name, because Kate Hudson was already taken. David Tennant changed his name from David McDonald at age sixteen, because there was already a British actor by that name. Albert Brooks’ parents named him Albert Lawrence Einstein in 1947, even though the other Albert Einstein had been world-famous since 1919.