“The lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a
year.” – Victor Borge
“There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys,
that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?” – Conan O’Brien
“Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it
up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise
children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six
shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.” – Erma Bombeck
“The worst gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in
the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” – Johnny Carson
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother
took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley
Temple
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