Tuesday, 30 May 2023

Nine Butterflies

 

When one door closes and another opens, you’re probably in prison.

Sixty might be the new forty, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

When I say, "The other day," I could mean anytime between yesterday and fifteen years ago.

I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

When you ask what I’m doing today and I say "nothing," it doesn’t mean I am free. It means I’m doing nothing.

I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

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