Jack in the Box

 

Frank and Ethel Mars were famous for their chocolate candy, but they were also accomplished horse breeders. In the early 1930s, they started the Milky Way Farm, with over 1,000 acres of pasture for horses, cattle and sheep. One of the Mars family’s thoroughbreds, Gallahadion, won the Kentucky Derby in 1940. The most beloved thoroughbred on the farm was Snickers – more of a family pet than a racehorse. Shortly before the Mars Candy Company released a new peanut/nougat/caramel chocolate bar, Snickers died. The Mars family decided to honor their equine friend by giving their new confectionary treat the same name. The Snickers bar would go on to become one of the best-selling candy bars in history. If you live in the UK, you probably know this candy by a different name: the Marathon Bar. That’s because Mars was afraid the American name would sound too much like knickers – the British slang for underwear.

Chartreuse String Block

 

“Is there anything sweeter, more pure, more humble, than a child at prayer? It’s as if heaven is in the room.” – Jeffrey R. Holland

“As you bind up the wounds of those in need, the Lord’s power will sustain you. His arms will be outstretched with yours to succor and bless the children of our Heavenly Father.” – Henry B. Eyring

“I am forever grateful that holders of the Aaronic priesthood, with its powers, ordinances and duties, do bless all of us through the keys of the very ministering of angels and of the gospel of repentance, and of baptism by immersion for the remission of sins.” – Steven J. Lund

“We are to use the gifts we have been given – time, talents and blessings – to serve Heavenly Father’s children, especially the most vulnerable and needy.” – Dale G. Renlund

“Seeking the Lord’s mercy is one of the most powerful ways to feel the witness of the Holy Ghost.” – James A. Rasband

Tied with a Bow

Douglas Corrigan was born in Galveston in 1907, the son of a construction engineer and a school teacher. He dropped out of school to work in construction. Douglas took flying lessons at age eighteen. In 1938 he flew from Long Beach to New York. His flight plan had him returning to Long Beach, but instead, he continued on to Ireland, earning the nickname “Wrong Way Corrigan.” He’d been denied permission to fly to Ireland, and Douglas insisted his transatlantic stunt was the result of a navigational error. In 1941, H.R. Knickerbocker wrote: “You may say Corrigan’s flight couldn’t be compared with Lindbergh’s. In a way, his was the more audacious of the two. Lindbergh had the best plane money could buy. Corrigan had nothing but his own ambition. His plane was a wretched looking jalopy. The engine hood was a mass of patches. The door behind which Corrigan crouched for twenty-eight hours was fastened together with baling wire.”

 

Carnation String Block

 

Can you imagine driving a car without brake pads or a rear view mirror? Both of these automotive necessities were invented by women. Many innovative women have played key roles in the development of the automobile industry. Here are just a handful of examples:

Car heaters: Margaret Wilcox invented the first automotive heating system in 1893.

Windshield wipers: Mary Anderson invented the first windshield wiper in 1903.

Non-reflective glass: Katharine Blodgett, an American physicist and chemist, invented non-reflective glass in 1938.

Brake pads: Bertha Benz (wife of Karl Benz, German automotive engineer) invented brake pads in 1888.

Turn signals: Florence Lawrence invented the first mechanical turn signal in 1913.

Rear view mirrors: Elma Berger invented rear view mirrors in 1921. She called them “cop-spotters.”

GPS and Wi-Fi: Actress Hedy Lamarr was an inventor in her spare time. In 1942 she developed the technology that led to GPS and Wi-Fi. Another of her inventions was the improved traffic stoplight.

Dutchman's Puzzle

 

Ants don’t have lungs. They don’t have blood. Ants have two stomachs: one for their own sustenance, and one to store food to share with fellow ants. Most ants can't swim. But they can survive in water for surprisingly long periods. Some species form rafts to survive flooding. When ants fight, they usually fight to the death. Fossil evidence suggests there were ants during the Jurassic period, which means ants may have roamed the earth before the tyrannosaurus, triceratops, or velociraptor. Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, and I’ll bet there’s at least one colony there, hiding in the pantry of some research station. This time last year, I was fighting a war with sugar ants in my own pantry. They’d found a bag of dogfood and decided to move in. We reached a cease fire, but there were casualties on both sides. Now, I’m waiting to see if they’re ready to resume hostilities. 

Halo Star

 

Wednesday in the middle of National Library Week (that’s this week) is set aside for National Bookmobile Day. It was created in 2010 by three organizations: the American Library Association Office for Literacy and Outreach Services, the Association of Bookmobile and Outreach Services, and the Association for Rural and Small Libraries. Bookmobiles have been around since the early 1900’s, evolving from horse-drawn “perambulating libraries” to more modern motorized vehicles. They’ve been known by several names, including traveling library, library wagon, book wagon, book truck, library-on-wheels, and book auto service. Generally, bookmobiles serve more rural areas, where brick-and-mortar libraries make less sense. Some bookmobiles have evolved to serve nursing homes and senior centers, where patrons may have difficulty getting to a library and may need more large-print books or audio books. I couldn’t find a bookmobile in my area, but there’s one in Utah County that serves Mapleton, Genola, Goshen, Eureka, Alpine and Provo Canyon.

Dresden Plate

 

Almon Brown Strowger was an undertaker in Kansas City, Missouri in the late 1800’s. As the story goes, his business was doing poorly. Almon suspected it was because the wife of the town’s other undertaker was a telephone operator. In those days, telephones didn’t have dials. To make a call, you’d pick up the receiver and tell the operator the party you wanted, and you’d be physically connected. Almon was convinced whenever anyone asked to speak with an undertaker, they’d be connected to his competition. Complaints to the phone company were ignored, so Almon took matters into his own hands. He invented the automatic telephone exchange and the rotary dial. Almon formed the Strowger Automatic Telephone Exchange Company in 1892, with a capacity of 99 subscribers. If you were one of them, you could direct dial any of the other 98. A far cry from being able to pick up a phone and call anyone in the world!

Brown String Block

 

“In our last general conference, I spoke about prayer. I’d had a near death experience. For four weeks I was somewhere with a foot in another world. The lessons I was given there and in effect told to take back to the church were ‘Pray more than you pray.’ I thought I prayed almost all the time. But the lesson was, ‘Pray more than you pray. However much you’ve prayed, pray more. In however many places you’ve prayed, pray in more places. However many times during the day you pray, pray more times in the day.’ It started to give meaning to me – an overwhelming meaning – that it really was quite literal when God said, ‘Pray always.’ I took it to be part of the hastening of the work, the hastening of family history, missionary work, and every aspect of our work. The other lesson was to testify; to be a witness. However much you testify, testify more.” – Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

New Spruce

 

In 1945, Ali Ahmed Aslam was born in a small town in what is now Pakistan. Before he was a teenager, Ali’s family moved to Glasgow. His father opened the Green Gates, Scotland’s first Indian restaurant. In 1964, Ali opened his own restaurant, the Shish Mahal. Sometime in the 1970’s, a customer complained about their chicken tikka, saying, “I’d take some sauce with that; this is a bit dry.” So, Ali whipped up a sauce using canned tomato soup, yogurt, cream, and garam masala. Chicken tikka masala is about as Indian as chop suey and fortune cookies are Chinese. But Ali wasn’t cooking for Indians. Having grown up in Great Britain, he knew exactly how to suit British palates. His recipe very quickly became Britain’s favorite curry. Ali died in 2022 at the age of 77. He is fondly remembered for his love of Glasgow, for his charity work, and for his most famous recipe.

Blue String Block

 

Take a good look at the nearest zipper. Chances are, the zipper pull is engraved with the letters YKK. YKK stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha which roughly translates to Yoshida Company Limited. When Todao Yoshida was twenty, he worked for a trading company that went bankrupt. The owner gave Todao the remains of the business, which included a small concern that manufactured zippers. After visiting his zipper factory, Todao came up with several ways to improve the process. He began designing his own zipper construction machines. In 1938 Todao built a larger zipper factory in Tokyo. After WWII, YKK began producing zippers and other fasteners like snaps and buttons overseas. As the company grew, it brought every step of manufacturing in-house, including smelting brass and dyeing cloth. Today, YKK is the largest zipper manufacturer in the world. Todao Yoshida believed that no one prospers without rendering benefit to others, and his company still reflects those values. 

Whirling Pinwheel

 

There once were seven siblings from Casarsa in northern Italy: Giocondo, Frank, Rachele, Candido, Joseph, Gelindo and Valeriano. Their last name was Iacuzzi, but when two brothers emigrated to the U.S. in 1907, an immigration clerk accidentally changed their name to Jacuzzi. By 1910, all seven siblings (and other relatives) had come over from Italy. They formed a machining company, and made propellers for American aircraft in World War I. In the 40’s, Candido Jacuzzi had a son who suffered from rheumatoid arthritis. One treatment that seemed to help was a hydrotherapy tank at the Herrick Hospital in Berkeley, California. To give his son relief between hospital visits, Candido developed a portable pump that could turn any bathtub into a spa. In 1968, Roy, a third-generation Jacuzzi, invented a whirlpool bath with jets to mix air and water. I can testify these spas work better on R.A. than any pill. And the only side effect is pruney fingers.

Bowdacious

 

Having a routine is a comfort. It can help you feel in control and reduce stress. Routines are important for all of us, but especially for individuals with Down Syndrome. For Christina Cavanaugh, a young Pocatello woman with Down Syndrome, renting from the local video store has been part of her routine for more than fifteen years. Christina’s almost nonverbal, but she loves to select a film – usually a Disney – take it home to watch it, and return it. But video rental shops have all disappeared, driven out of business by streaming services. The last one, Video Stop, shut down last month. The owner, David Kraning, liquidated most of the videos, but kept the ones Christina loves most. You can find them in a quiet corner of his adjacent convenience store, K & B Kwik Stop. Christina’s mother is beyond grateful. “How can your heart not melt when you see people in the community taking care of each other?”

Mexicali Rose

 

The following ad appeared in the Atlanta Journal: "SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship. Ethnicity not important. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, and cozy nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. When you get home from work, I'll be at the door wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy." Over 1500 men called and found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an eight-week-old Labrador Retriever.

UPDATE: The Atlanta Humane Society says they've been  getting calls about this ad nearly every week for years. Katherine Christensen, their public relations manager, says, "We never placed that ad." 

Forty-Nine Diversions

 

“Obstacles will come. Let us not wait for things to get hard before turning to God. Let us not wait until the end of our mortal lives to truly repent. Instead, let us now, no matter which part of the covenant path we are on, focus on the redemptive power of Jesus Christ and on Heavenly Father’s desire for us to return to Him. The Lord’s house, His holy scriptures, His holy prophets and apostles inspire us to strive towards personal holiness through the doctrine of Christ. And Nephi said: ‘And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man [and woman] can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.’” – Elder Jorge M. Alvarado

Grandmother's Choice

 

If you’ve ever grown carrots, you know what comes out of the ground looks nothing like what’s in the store. Some carrots will be stubby, and some will be broken. Some have two or three “legs.” Some twist around each other. If you grow ugly carrots, you eat ugly carrots. They taste fine. But no one BUYS ugly carrots. Store carrots are pretty because all the ugly ones were thrown away. Mike Yurosek, a California carrot farmer, hated to see up to 70% of his crop going to waste because it wasn’t pretty. So, Mike repurposed a bean-cutting machine to chop his ugly carrots into two-inch pieces. He peeled them with a rough stone roller and polished them with a smooth stone roller, and packaged them as Bunny Luv Baby Carrots. That was 1986. A year later, U.S. carrot consumption had increased by 30%. Today, baby carrots account for more than 70% of all carrot sales.

Black String Block

 String quilting is a technique where long, thing strips of left-over fabric are sewn to a foundation to create a scrappy, free-form quilt top. These thin fabric strips are sometimes referred to as “strings.” String quilting is more than just a creative way to use up scraps. The easy, forgiving nature of this technique can be a very welcome break after working with a fussy pattern that’s difficult to read or to master. This year, the members of our quilt guild are working individually on quilts drawn entirely from our stashes. I already have a few projects underway that might fit that bill. Somehow, none are making much of a dent in my stash. Worse, digging through every box and bin to find just the right print has my sewing room looking like it was hit by a tornado. But if the finished product is anything like the quilt in my head, it will all be worth it.

Stitched with Love

 

The word quilting comes from the Latin culcita, meaning stuffed sack or cushion. By the 14th century, “quilt” referred to stitching fabric layers together. Dating back to 1360-1400, the Tristan Quilt is one of the oldest known surviving quilts. It features scenes from the tale of Tristan and Isolde and is housed in London’s Victoria and Albert Museum. The world’s largest quilt is the AIDS Memorial Quilt, weighing over 54 tons and covering 1.2 million square feet. Early American quilts were essential for warmth. They were used as bedding, but also to cover doors and windows to block drafts. Amish quilts, known for bold colors and intricate stitching, are considered valuable (and collectable) folk art. The civil war-era piece known as the Reconciliation Quilt is one of the most expensive quilts ever sold, bringing $254,000 at auction in 1991. Quilting is still a popular pastime in the U.S., with over 21 million engaging in this useful and enjoyable hobby. Happy National Quilting Month!

Irish Spring

 

In 2009, an employee who worked for the Unlimited IT call center in Howick, South Africa became so frustrated, he told his boss, “The Internet here is so slow, a pigeon would deliver these files faster.” The company decided to put his theory to the test. They hired a pigeon fancier with an eleven-month-old bird named Winston to race against their Internet connection. Winston wore a pocket with a 4gb USB stick when he was released from the Unlimited IT office in Howick. He headed “home” to Durban, about 60 miles away. At the same time, an employee began transferring the same files via their Internet connection. Hundreds of South Africans followed the race on Facebook and Twitter. Winston arrived in Durban an hour and eight minutes later, and it took another hour to upload the files from the USB stick. In that same amount of time, only 4% of the online data transfer had been completed. 

Flying Dutchman

 

“Three things that you must come to accept. One: self-control is strength, and calmness is mastery. You must get to the point where your mood doesn’t shift based on someone else’s actions. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow emotions to overpower your intelligence. Two: stop being afraid to spend money. You go out and spend $100 on good food. So what? You had a good time with your friends. You spend $1000 to travel. So what? Your time on this planet is a gift. You can always replace money, but you can’t replace time. Three: in three generations, everyone who knows you will be gone, including the people whose opinions stopped you from doing what you wanted to do all along. Imagine someone you know achieved every dream and hit every goal. After they’re gone, how much would you care? If you accomplish your goals and dreams, do it for yourself.” – Anthony Hopkins 

Four Dozen Diversions

 

“The words of our dear prophet still echo in my mind: ‘God wants us to work together and help each other. That is why He sends us to earth in families and organizes us into wards and stakes. That is why He asks us to serve and minister to each other. That is why He asks us to live in the world but not be of the world.’ When our lives are filled with purpose and service, we avoid spiritual apathy; on the other hand, when our lives are deprived of divine purpose, meaningful service to others, and sacred opportunities for pondering and reflection, we gradually become suffocated by our own activity and self-interest, risking losing our savor. The antidote to this is to continue to be involved in service—being anxiously engaged in good works and the betterment of ourselves and the society we live in.” – Elder José A. Teixeira

English Wedding Ring

 

Heather has always had a problem with depth perception (it’s common in people with Down Syndrome), but it’s become worse these past few years. Because she can’t tell if a curb is three or nine inches high, she seeks out curb cutouts, which she calls “ramps.” Curb cutouts exist because a navy veteran and lawyer from Kalamazoo, Jack Fisher, pushed to make cities more accessible for disabled veterans returning from World War II. Three decades later in Berkeley, California, a movement led by college students and disabled activists brought about the first curb cutouts in that city in 1972. Curb cutouts not only benefit the wheelchair-bound veterans they were intended for, but also people with walkers, canes, strollers and wagons, and postal workers with heavy packages. And people like Heather, who can’t negotiate curbs safely. This phenomenon is called “the curb cutout effect:” accessibility meant for disabled folk that unintentionally helps so many more. 

Seventy-Two Delectable Mountains

 

Dances with Wolves (1990), is a film about a post-civil war U.S. Army officer who deserts his unit to live with the Lakota. He learns their language and protects them, eventually becoming one of their leaders. Ferngully: the Last Rainforest (1992) is an animated movie about a young man who learns to appreciate the rainforest and its inhabitants, and fights to protect them from corporate greed. Avatar (2009) is a CGI sci-fi flick about a disabled veteran who finds purpose on an alien planet, protecting the indigenous population and assimilating into their culture. Essentially, they’re the same movie, except that one has buffalo, one has ground-breaking (for its day) computer animation, and one has Robin Williams. If you’re only going to watch one, I’d recommend Ferngully. It’s only 76 minutes long, while Avatar is 162 and Dances with Wolves is 181. And, of course, there’s Robin Williams. 

Side Step Top

 

The first quilt top I made for the quilters at Intermountain Medical Center was a scrappy snowball block affair in blues and creams. I’d started stitching the top on my British Janome days before we left England, and finished it on a borrowed machine at the Residence Inn. I packed the top, back and binding in my carry-on bag, so it wouldn’t be lost (as several things were) in our overseas shipment. Since then, I’ve designed, pieced and donated thirty-four queen-sized quilts for the hospital volunteers to hand-quilt. Today’s top – also in scrappy blues – would have been number thirty-five. I’d have been happy to make thirty-five more. But the quilters, once a formidable group, have dwindled until there’s only one left. We’ve search in vain for new quilters join her. She says when she started hand-quilting, it was a fun, social affair. Now, it’s neither fun nor social. So, she’s done. I guess that means I am, too.

Starburst

 

We were preparing to celebrate our first Christmas in England. Until that year, one of our traditions was visiting a Hallmark shop and choosing an ornament for the tree. The nearest Hallmark was quite a drive, and when we arrived, we found they didn’t sell ornaments. But there was a charming local museum nearby, and we happily explored that instead. One item on display that caught my eye was a blue-and-white transferware plate commissioned in 1977 for the queen’s silver jubilee. John was in the US Navy that year; his ship was there as part of the celebration. I told him he should have known someday he’d marry someone mad for blue-and-white china, and he should have snagged one for me. It took many weeks, but I acquired my own plate at auction. Today, it sits atop a plate rack the previous owners left behind, in a house that was built the year of the silver jubilee.

Dragon's Head

 

“I bet she’ll be pretty”, they say at her cot.

I wonder what this means so I ask, “Pretty what”?

Pretty bold? Pretty bright? Pretty wise, loud and brave”?

Ah, but they just mean her face and they hope she’ll behave.

But I hope my daughter doesn’t do as she’s told.

As long as she’s safe I hope my daughter is bold.

She questions the world, she fights as she’ll stand.

She knows she has powers great as any man.

She is sporty or creative. She has so much to say.

She is kind and inquisitive and changes the world each day

When she becomes a teen, I know the world will seem tight.

But a small box to fill and then she’ll be bright

I hope she knows her beauty doesn’t come from her face.

That being a woman doesn’t mean knowing your place.

And I hope she is happy and fights for her choice.

Yes, I hope my future daughter always uses her voice. – Kiara Whittle

March Door Banner

 

“June 27, 1844, Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum were murdered. Joseph’s body was laid to rest, but his testimony continues to reverberate around the world and in my soul: ‘I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it. I never told you I was perfect; but there is no error in the revelations which I have taught.’ I believe and am sure Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. I testify the living God is our loving Father. I know this because the voice of the Lord has spoken it to me, and so has the voice of His servants, the apostles and prophets, including and beginning with Joseph Smith. I testify Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God. He was blessed to open the last dispensation, and we are blessed that he did.” – Elder Kyle S. McKay

Forty-Two Side Steps

 

The corn dogs at Hot Dog on a Stick are kind of hit-and-miss. Sometimes you’ll get a good one, but more often it will come with undercooked cornmeal batter or be fried in oil that should have been made into biofuel long ago. They frequently serve corn dogs at my grandson’s elementary school. I haven’t tasted them, but half the kids strip theirs and eat only the dogs. The other half toss the dogs and eat only the corn bread. So, how good can they be? The best corn dogs in my opinion come from the Little Red Wagon just off Main Street, USA. They’ve been serving corn dogs there since the park opened, so they’ve had plenty of time to get it right. And honestly, I believe everything just tastes better at Disneyland. The third Saturday in March is Corn Dog Day. I think you already know where I wish I was having lunch today.

Sixty-Four Delectable Mountains

 

Josephine Garis was born in Ohio in 1839, the daughter of a civil engineer. She married William Cochran in Illinois in 1858. William sought his fortune in the California gold rush, but found it as a dry goods merchant and Democratic party politician. The Cochrans quickly became very well-to-do. They added an E to the end of their name, moved into a mansion and joined Chicago’s high society. After she threw a dinner party, Josephine was horrified to find her servants had chipped her porcelain while washing it. There were two hand-operated dishwashers on the market then (both invented by men) but they wet the dishes without getting them clean. Josephine proclaimed, “If nobody else is going to invent a dishwashing machine, I’ll do it myself.” Her creation debuted at Chicago’s World Colombian Exposition in 1893. The Cochranes founded the Crescent Washing Machine Company, which later became Kitchen Aid. 

Three Dozen Side Steps

 

Tabitha Babbitt was born in 1779 in Hardwick, Massachusetts. Tabitha grew up in a Shaker community, which meant she had the same education and opportunities a boy would have. As an adult, Tabitha and her husband owned a sawmill, and she was very involved and interested in the day-to-day work there. In Tabitha’s day, sawing wood was a two-person push-and-pull job. Tabitha realized wood was only being cut during the forward stroke, which meant half the required energy was wasted. She created a notched tin disk and attached it to her spinning wheel. Her new “circular saw” cut continuously, with no wasted motion. Many of Tabitha’s inventions – including circular saw, the accelerated spinning wheel head, the window frame and sash and even false teeth – are still in use today. But, because her Shaker beliefs prevented her from filing for patents, she seldom receives credit.

Flower Patch

 

I’m not sure exactly which year it happened; it must have been either 1989 or 1990. It was a busy morning, with two kids who had to get to school on time, and two preschoolers devoted to preventing all things from happening on time. I’d been doing laundry since before any of them were awake, and there was an essential item sopping wet in the washer – a favorite T-shirt, the “lucky” underwear, or the soccer socks with the two blue stripes. I’ve forgotten what “it” was, but I fished it out of the washer and added it to the nearly-dry clothes in the dryer. I closed the dryer door and turned it back on. The drum rotated twice, making a noise like gym sneakers. Only I wasn’t drying sneakers. I opened the door, and our deeply offended Persian cat jumped out. He wasn’t hurt, but I never recovered. I still can’t use a dryer without checking for cats.

Criss-Cross

 

Daylight Saving Time was put into place during WWI for energy conservation on the battlefield; not for farmers. Farmers have always hated DST. It wasn’t started by Benjamin Franklin, either. In 1905, William Willet was riding early one morning, and noticed most Londoners were still asleep. They were missing the lovely morning sun. So, he proposed DST in his pamphlet, “The Waste of Daylight.” William spent the rest of his life (and his fortune) trying to promote the idea. He died in 1915, the year Germans implemented DST to save coal. Britain did the same in 1916, and the U.S. followed in 1918. Americans hated it so much that in 1919, the law was overturned. It was left up to individual states to use DST or not. It got pretty messy, especially where air travel was concerned. The Uniform Time Act was passed in 1966, mandating DST across the U.S. Somehow, Arizona and Hawaii opted out. 

Forty-Two Diversions

 

“Brothers and sisters, mortality works! It is designed to work! Despite the challenges, heartaches, and difficulties we all face, our loving, wise, and perfect Heavenly Father has designed the plan of happiness such that we are not destined to fail. His plan provides a way for us to rise above our mortal failures. The Lord has said, ‘This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’ Nonetheless, if we are to be the beneficiaries of the Lord’s work and glory, even immortality and eternal life, we must expect to be schooled and taught and to pass through the refiner’s fire—sometimes to our utter limits. To completely avoid the problems, challenges, and difficulties of this world would be to sidestep the process that is truly necessary for mortality to work. We were not sent here to fail but to succeed in God’s plan for us.” – Elder Brook P. Hales

Thirty Side Steps

 

“Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially.” – Julie B. Beck

“We need more of the distinctive, influential voices and faith of women. We need them to learn the doctrine and to understand what we believe so that they can bear their testimonies about the truth of all things.” – M. Russell Ballard

“Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Throw away the mirrors and look through the window.” – Cheryl A. Esplin

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” – President Brigham Young

Kissing Geese

 

Wild geese can live up to fifteen years, though they’re more likely to live longer in protected areas. As far as we know, geese mate for life. (I should note we used to believe that about penguins, until someone started DNA testing their chicks.) When flying long distances, geese adopt a V-formation to reduce drag, conserve energy, and increase their flying range. The collective noun for geese is gaggle, but only while they’re on the ground. When they’re flying together, a group of geese is called a wedge or a skein. I don't know the collective noun for swimming geese. Maybe a flotilla? Geese are primarily herbivores, but they’ve been known to eat insects and small fish. If you’d like to feed the wild geese in your neighborhood, skip the bread. It’s not healthy for them, and can attract vermin. Instead, try offering them cracked corn, leafy greens like lettuce, kale, or chard, or chopped vegetables like carrots, peas or green beans.

Twenty-Five Side Steps

I love my gas range. I really do. But it may not be the healthiest choice, especially for people with asthma and other respiratory issues. This lovely and efficient appliance is probably adding to the nitrogen dioxide, carbon monoxide and benzene inside our home. So, we crack open windows from time to time. And whenever we can, we use the microwave, electric kettle, egg steamer, and the outdoor grill. And we use the slow cooker a LOT. Tonight, we're having this:

 

Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff

 

1 pound cubed beef

8 ounces mushrooms, sliced

1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed golden mushroom soup

1/2 cup onion, chopped

1/4 cup water

1 tablespoon Worcestershire

4 ounces cream cheese

 

Put all ingredients in slow cooker; cover and cook on low six hours. Stir and serve over hot egg noodles, topped with a dollop of sour cream.

 

Twirl

 

Over the years, treatment for jaundice included blood-letting, laxatives, and enemas. If a patient recovered, it was often in spite of the treatment rather than because of it. During the 1950’s, Sister Jean Ward was head nurse of the premature nursery at Rochford General Hospital in Essex. She believed fresh air and sunshine were better for babies than stuffy hospital rooms. On warm sunny days, she’d wheel the babies in her charge – cribs and all – outside into the hospital courtyard. She began to observe the babies' jaundice improved after being in sunlight; specifically, the exposed skin was less yellow than skin under clothing or blankets. She showed her discovery to doctors, who were less than impressed. They continued to promote the accepted treatment – exchange blood transfusion, despite the obvious risks. It took decades, but the medical world finally came around. In 1982, our baby boy recovered on a blanket in the garden instead of a hospital ward.

Crazy Ann

 

January 8 2015, a wave swept 22-year-old American tourist Frank Jade from the deck of Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas. Somehow, none of the 6,360 passengers and 2,394 crew members saw him fall or noticed his absence. Cruise ships should have detection systems in place for this event, but the Oasis of the Seas did not. (Royal Caribbean was later censured for violating the 2010 Cruise Vessel Safety/Security Act.) Frank could only watch helplessly as his ship sailed away without him. Miraculously, Frank was spotted by passengers aboard the appropriately named Disney Magic. Tom Parsons, a vacationing fire chief from Ithaca, threw him life preservers. The Magic lowered a rescue boat to retrieve him. The cruise ship made an unscheduled stop in Mexico so Frank could receive medical attention. I don’t suppose many people can say they started a voyage on one of the cheapest cruise lines and ended it on one of the most expensive.

Three Dozen Diversions

“President Nelson has repeatedly pled with us to make time for the Lord in our lives every day. He reminds us quiet time is sacred time—time which facilitates personal revelation and instills peace. To hear the still voice of the Lord, you too must be still. Being still requires more than just making time. It requires letting go of doubtful and fearful thoughts and focusing our hearts and minds on Him. Elder David A. Bednar taught, ‘The Lord’s admonition to be still entails much more than simply not talking or not moving.’ To be still, he suggested, ‘may be a way to focus upon the Savior unfailingly.’ Being still is an act of faith and requires effort. President Nelson declared: ‘Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought. When we do, our doubts and fears flee.’” – Bishop L. Todd Budge

Two Dozen Side Steps

 

Its scientific name is amorphophallus titanum, which means, “misshapen giant.” In its native Indonesia, it’s called bunga bangkai. Much of the world calls it a corpse flower, primarily because of the way it smells. It has a complex aroma, with notes of garlic, moldy cheese, sweaty gym socks, decaying fish and boiled cabbage. But mostly, it smells like rotting flesh. The 6- to 8-foot flower generates heat, which helps spread the odor. On a good night, you can smell it half a mile away. The purpose of the stink is to attract pollinators like flies and carrion beetles. The corpse flower blooms for a day or two every seven to fifteen years. Their population is declining in the wild, but when one blossoms in a botanical garden, it attracts tens of thousands of curious human visitors. They’re notoriously difficult to propagate, but if you’d like to give it a try, there are seeds for sale on Amazon.

Fifty-Six Delectable Mountains

 

Slow Cooker Winter Vegetable Soup

 

1 large onion, chopped

3 stalks celery, chopped

2 carrots, peeled and chopped

3 Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and chopped

2 cans (14.5 ounces each) fire roasted tomatoes

1 (12 ounce) bag frozen mixed vegetables

2 bay leaves

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

2 teaspoons minced garlic

1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper

2 teaspoons Italian Seasoning

8 cups vegetable stock (I used chicken stock, because it’s what I had.)

1 cup uncooked ditalini pasta

 

Dump all ingredients except pasta into slow cooker. Cover and cook on low about six hours. Half an hour before dinner, add pasta, cover and continue cooking. Remove and discard bay leaves. Serve with croutons and grated parmesan. 

Twenty Side Steps

 

I noticed on the calendar our neighborhood’s doing a food drive in a few weeks. I’m ashamed to admit most of the time, these events take me by surprise. I dash to my pantry and grab a few things I’m unlikely to need in the immediate future. But it occurs to me the foods I have little use for are probably not in higher demand at a food bank. Since I have some time to plan, I can stock up on things that will really do some good:

Peanut butter and other nut spreads

Canned tuna, chicken or salmon

Canned beans like garbanzos, black-eyed peas, and pintos

Dried pasta and canned pasta sauce

Canned soup, vegetables or fruit

Pantry staples like oil, salt, flour or sugar

While I’m on the subject, there are some things you should NEVER donate to a food bank:

Food in glass containers, as they’re easily broken

Food that’s been opened

Food that has expired

Roses Among the Thorns

 

The container ship Ever Laurel left Hong Kong the winter of 1991/1992 on its way to Tacoma, Washington. On January 10, a storm near the international date line washed a dozen 40-foot shipping containers overboard. One of these containers held 29,000 Friendly Floatees bath toys. Because of a collision with the other containers or perhaps with the Ever Laurel itself, it broke open and released its floating cargo. Many of the toys were small yellow rubber ducks, but there were also red beavers, blue turtles, and green frogs. Months later, these tiny travelers began washing up on Alaska’s shores, over 3,270 kilometers (2,030 miles) from where they were lost. Oceanographers tracked the toys’ movements, using them as floating markers to study ocean currents and how objects disperse at sea. Some of these adventurous little toys floated astonishing distances, with reports of them reaching European beaches years later, providing valuable insights into oceanic flow patterns. 

Antique Basket

 

Martin Swaden, a lawyer from Mendota Heights, MN was concerned because his daughter Sydney had failed the math portion of the Minnesota Basic Standards Tests. Sydney was a sophomore who found math difficult; she’d failed this test before. This time, she’d failed by a single answer. Thinking he could help his daughter focus her studies, Martin asked to see his daughter’s test papers. State education officials denied his request and told him simply to have his daughter study harder for next year’s exam. After Martin threatened to sue, he was finally allowed to see the questions and Sydney’s answers. Question #41 showed a rail fence and asked which parts were parallel. Sydney chose two horizontal rails, but was marked wrong. Martin discovered six of the 68 questions in the test were scored wrong – not just for his daughter. Math scores for 45,739 students were incorrect. 7,935 students were told they’d failed when they’d actually passed.

Thirty Diversions

 

“A journalist once questioned Mother Teresa of Calcutta about her hopeless task of rescuing the destitute in that city. He said that, statistically speaking, she was accomplishing absolutely nothing. This remarkable little woman shot back that her work was about love, not statistics. Notwithstanding the staggering number beyond her reach, she said she could keep the commandment to love God and her neighbor by serving those within her reach with whatever resources she had. ‘What we do is nothing but a drop in the ocean,’ she would say on another occasion. ‘But if we didn’t do it, the ocean would be one drop less than it is.’ Soberly, the journalist concluded that Christianity is obviously not a statistical endeavor. He reasoned that if there would be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over the ninety and nine who need no repentance, then apparently God is not overly preoccupied with percentages.” - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Sixteen Side Steps

 

A few of my favorite one-liners:

"I don’t need glasses, but I’ve reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.” – Red Skelton

"The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – George Burns

"Housework won’t kill you, but why take the chance?" – Phyllis Diller

"If God had intended man to fly, He’d have made it easier to get to the airport." – Jonathan Winters

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." – Groucho Marx

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." – Milton Berle

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept." – George Carlin

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." – Lucille Ball

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." – Steve Martin

"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" – Robin Williams

Forty-Nine Delectable Mountains

 

American swimmer Mark Spitz became a legend after his performance at the 1972 Olympic games in Munich. But much of the media attention was focused on his facial hair. Mark had broken multiple world records at the 1972 US Olympic swim trials earlier in the year. He’d planned to shave his mustache before the Olympics started. (Swimmers often shave their entire bodies to reduce friction in the water. In the 70’s, many shaved their heads as well.) But during Mark’s last training session, a coach for the Russian swim team approached him and asked, “Doesn’t your mustache slow you down?” As a joke, Mark replied that his whiskers deflected water from his mouth and actually helped him swim faster. To keep the joke going, he left the mustache where it was. He went on to win seven gold medals at the Munich games. At the 1976 games in Montreal, the entire Russian swim team showed up with mustaches. 

Thirteen Side Steps

 

He’s been in office a month, and he’s been busy. I haven’t approved of his executive orders so far. None, as far as I can see, bear any resemblance to his campaign promises. Most seem to be about punishing people he doesn’t like, or people he thinks don’t like him. But last week I read about an executive order I can stand behind: an order to stop minting new pennies. There’s not a single thing you can buy for a penny, and there hasn’t been for a long, long time. Fewer people use cash to purchase items. Even if that weren’t the case, retailers could easily set their prices so they’d never need to make change in pennies. Moreover, it cost 3.69 cents for each penny we minted and distributed last year, making each coin a loss of 2.69 cents. If only he hadn’t written, “I’ve instructed MY Secretary of the US Treasury to stop producing new pennies.”

Around the Corner

 

A group of guys, all turning forty, discussed where they should go to celebrate. They decided on Weatherspoon’s in Uxbridge, because the waitresses there were well-endowed and wore very short skirts. A decade later, when their fiftieth birthdays approached, they went to lunch at Weatherspoon’s in Uxbridge, because the food and service there were excellent, and it was a good value for their money. Ten years later, as they were turning sixty, the friends decided to meet at Weatherby’s in Uxbridge, because there was plenty of parking, and they could dine in peace and quiet, with no loud music. In another ten years, the friends chose to celebrate their seventieth birthdays at Weatherspoon’s in Uxbridge, because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a nice disabled toilet. Ten years later, at age eighty, they considered where they should go for lunch. They settled on Weatherspoon’s in Uxbridge, because they’d never been there before.

Little Fish

Our local aquarium is too small for ocean sunfish, but I’ve seen these remarkable creatures up close. The Monterey Bay Aquarium has sunfish in their Open Sea Exhibit. At 4,400 pounds, they’re the world’s largest bony fish, and they’re like enormous fish heads, floating aloof and disinterested in their watery world. At least, that’s how they look. When Japan’s Kaikyokan Aquarium temporarily closed for renovations, their solitary sunfish began to show signs of distress. It stopped eating, became lethargic, and started bumping into the tank walls. The caretakers worried it might be missing the aquarium visitors, so they came up with a creative solution. They placed life-size human cutouts outside the tank to simulate adoring crowds. Gradually, the sunfish began to improve. Its appetite returned, it became more active, and it stopped colliding with the walls of the tank. Evidently, even fish may experience certain sensory input patterns which are anticipated and even missed when absent.

Red, White and True Banner

 

“I testify that our sincere gospel questions can provide Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with opportunities to help us grow. My personal effort to seek answers from the Lord to my own spiritual questions—past and present—has allowed me to use the space between the lines of my understanding and God’s to practice obedience to Him and fidelity to the spiritual knowledge that I currently possess. I testify that placing your trust in Heavenly Father and in His prophets, whom He has sent, will help you to spiritually elevate and push you forward toward God’s expanded horizon. Your vantage will change because you will change. God knows that the higher you are, the farther you can see. Our Savior invites you to make that climb.” – Tracy Y. Browning