“It's my wife's job to tell me our exit’s two miles away
when we pass a big sign that says our exit’s two miles away.”
“When I was a kid, the people who were the age I am now
seemed a lot older.”
“Getting older means your arm must be in a certain position
before going to bed so you'll have full use of it the next day.”
“My wife has literally everything in her purse. Today I
needed tissues, a hammer, peanut butter and dice. She had two of each.”
“My wife can't remember the password she changed yesterday,
but can remember what I said June 8, 2014 at 6:47 p.m.”
“A ninety-minute movie takes two and a half hours to watch
because my wife and I pause it to figure out what other movies an actor or actress
was in.”
“I'm ready for bed around 9ish, and by 9ish I mean 6:30 p.m.”
– Dan Regan
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