Fifty-Six Delectable Mountains

 

Slow Cooker Winter Vegetable Soup

 

1 large onion, chopped

3 stalks celery, chopped

2 carrots, peeled and chopped

3 Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and chopped

2 cans (14.5 ounces each) fire roasted tomatoes

1 (12 ounce) bag frozen mixed vegetables

2 bay leaves

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

2 teaspoons minced garlic

1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper

2 teaspoons Italian Seasoning

8 cups vegetable stock (I used chicken stock, because it’s what I had.)

1 cup uncooked ditalini pasta

 

Dump all ingredients except pasta into slow cooker. Cover and cook on low about six hours. Half an hour before dinner, add pasta, cover and continue cooking. Remove and discard bay leaves. Serve with croutons and grated parmesan. 

Twenty Side Steps

 

I noticed on the calendar our neighborhood’s doing a food drive in a few weeks. I’m ashamed to admit most of the time, these events take me by surprise. I dash to my pantry and grab a few things I’m unlikely to need in the immediate future. But it occurs to me the foods I have little use for are probably not in higher demand at a food bank. Since I have some time to plan, I can stock up on things that will really do some good:

Peanut butter and other nut spreads

Canned tuna, chicken or salmon

Canned beans like garbanzos, black-eyed peas, and pintos

Dried pasta and canned pasta sauce

Canned soup, vegetables or fruit

Pantry staples like oil, salt, flour or sugar

While I’m on the subject, there are some things you should NEVER donate to a food bank:

Food in glass containers, as they’re easily broken

Food that’s been opened

Food that has expired

Roses Among the Thorns

 

The container ship Ever Laurel left Hong Kong the winter of 1991/1992 on its way to Tacoma, Washington. On January 10, a storm near the international date line washed a dozen 40-foot shipping containers overboard. One of these containers held 29,000 Friendly Floatees bath toys. Because of a collision with the other containers or perhaps with the Ever Laurel itself, it broke open and released its floating cargo. Many of the toys were small yellow rubber ducks, but there were also red beavers, blue turtles, and green frogs. Months later, these tiny travelers began washing up on Alaska’s shores, over 3,270 kilometers (2,030 miles) from where they were lost. Oceanographers tracked the toys’ movements, using them as floating markers to study ocean currents and how objects disperse at sea. Some of these adventurous little toys floated astonishing distances, with reports of them reaching European beaches years later, providing valuable insights into oceanic flow patterns. 

Antique Basket

 

Martin Swaden, a lawyer from Mendota Heights, MN was concerned because his daughter Sydney had failed the math portion of the Minnesota Basic Standards Tests. Sydney was a sophomore who found math difficult; she’d failed this test before. This time, she’d failed by a single answer. Thinking he could help his daughter focus her studies, Martin asked to see his daughter’s test papers. State education officials denied his request and told him simply to have his daughter study harder for next year’s exam. After Martin threatened to sue, he was finally allowed to see the questions and Sydney’s answers. Question #41 showed a rail fence and asked which parts were parallel. Sydney chose two horizontal rails, but was marked wrong. Martin discovered six of the 68 questions in the test were scored wrong – not just for his daughter. Math scores for 45,739 students were incorrect. 7,935 students were told they’d failed when they’d actually passed.

Thirty Diversions

 

“A journalist once questioned Mother Teresa of Calcutta about her hopeless task of rescuing the destitute in that city. He said that, statistically speaking, she was accomplishing absolutely nothing. This remarkable little woman shot back that her work was about love, not statistics. Notwithstanding the staggering number beyond her reach, she said she could keep the commandment to love God and her neighbor by serving those within her reach with whatever resources she had. ‘What we do is nothing but a drop in the ocean,’ she would say on another occasion. ‘But if we didn’t do it, the ocean would be one drop less than it is.’ Soberly, the journalist concluded that Christianity is obviously not a statistical endeavor. He reasoned that if there would be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over the ninety and nine who need no repentance, then apparently God is not overly preoccupied with percentages.” - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Sixteen Side Steps

 

A few of my favorite one-liners:

"I don’t need glasses, but I’ve reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.” – Red Skelton

"The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – George Burns

"Housework won’t kill you, but why take the chance?" – Phyllis Diller

"If God had intended man to fly, He’d have made it easier to get to the airport." – Jonathan Winters

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." – Groucho Marx

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." – Milton Berle

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept." – George Carlin

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." – Lucille Ball

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." – Steve Martin

"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" – Robin Williams

Forty-Nine Delectable Mountains

 

American swimmer Mark Spitz became a legend after his performance at the 1972 Olympic games in Munich. But much of the media attention was focused on his facial hair. Mark had broken multiple world records at the 1972 US Olympic swim trials earlier in the year. He’d planned to shave his mustache before the Olympics started. (Swimmers often shave their entire bodies to reduce friction in the water. In the 70’s, many shaved their heads as well.) But during Mark’s last training session, a coach for the Russian swim team approached him and asked, “Doesn’t your mustache slow you down?” As a joke, Mark replied that his whiskers deflected water from his mouth and actually helped him swim faster. To keep the joke going, he left the mustache where it was. He went on to win seven gold medals at the Munich games. At the 1976 games in Montreal, the entire Russian swim team showed up with mustaches.