Let me apologize in advance for my very odd sense of humor:
“When I see names of lovers engraved on trees, I don’t find
it romantic. I think it’s weird how many people take knives on dates.”
“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a
parachute to go skydiving twice.”
“The other day, she asked me to pass her lipstick but I
accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.”
“A study recently found humans eat more bananas than
monkeys. I believe it’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.”
“My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.”
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least, it does if
you throw it hard enough.”
“To teach the kids about elections, I let them vote on
dinner. They chose pizza. I made them meatloaf because we don’t live in a swing
state.”
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