“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of
it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask
where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” – Mitch Hedberg
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a
computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you
is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin
“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many
optimists.” – Don Marquis
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius
has its limits.” – Alber Einstein
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to
someone else.” – Ann Landers
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove
that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
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