Treasure Island

 

Do you need a few more?

“I never thought the comment ‘I wouldn’t touch him with a 10-foot pole’ would become a national policy, but here we are.”

“I hate it when people ask me what I’m doing next month. C’mon, guys! I don’t have 2020 vision.”

“What if 2020 is just the trailer for 2021?”

“Chuck Norris has been exposed to the coronavirus. The coronavirus is now in quarantine for the next two weeks.”

“I still haven’t decided where to go for the holidays. I’m debating between the bedroom and the living room.”

“What’s the best way to avoid touching your face? A taco in each hand.”

“Back in the day, you would cough to cover up a fart. These days you fart to cover up a cough.”

“I’m going to stay up on New Year’s Eve this year. Not to see the new year in, but to make sure this one leaves.”