Perks of being over fifty:
Kidnappers aren’t generally interested in you.
In a hostage situation, you’re likely to be the first one
released.
No one expects you to run anywhere.
You no longer see speed limit signs as challenges.
If people call you after 8:00 p.m., they ask, “Did I wake
you?”
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There’s probably nothing left to learn the hard way.
The things you buy now will probably not have time to wear
out.
You can eat your supper at 4:30 p.m., and no one questions
it.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
National Weather Service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t
remember them either.
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