Twin Pines

In high school health class they showed us a film featuring lab rats. With just a few rats in a cage, they got along well. They shared their space and their food, and were relatively clean. (Well, as clean as rats ever are.) But when the rats were allowed to overpopulate their cage, they fought over limited resources. They became sick and died. The film was proof that we as humans should limit our families or maybe not have families at all. The only problem with this premise is that rats aren’t humans. Rats can’t build a bigger rat cage. They can’t plan a more efficient waste disposal system. They can’t imagine better ways to produce and distribute food. Humans do that sort of thing all the time. It’s why the dire predictions from the 60’s about overpopulation never came true. Now if only we could think of a way to reverse our declining fertility rate.

Lodgepole Pine

I have two friends from my parents’ generation who taught their children that having more than two kids per family was irresponsible. They were well-educated and well informed, and believed two children would replace themselves and maintain the status quo. They’d bought into the 60’s propaganda about overpopulation. They believed they were doing the right thing by only having two children. One of those kids grew up, got married, and had two children. The other never married. Their two grandchildren are now grown. They have no intention of starting families. I’m sad for my friends with only two grandkids and no great-grandchildren. But when I see this not as an anomaly but a growing trend, I begin to grow alarmed. As individuals and as a society, we rely on the next generation to support and protect us in our old age. Childlessness and singlehood may look like freedom when you’re young, but eventually they’ll become loneliness and poverty.

Alla Breve

From Fred Astaire’s first screen test with MGM, these notes survive, “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Not handsome. Can dance a little.” Michael Jordan was once cut from his high school basketball team. “Colonel” Harland Sanders’ Kentucky fried chicken recipe was turned down over a thousand times before he found a restaurant willing to buy it. Several reputable recording studios rejected the Beatles early in their career, saying they had no future in show business. Young Abraham Lincoln went to war a captain and returned home a private. He was bankrupt twice and failed in 26 attempts at public office. Walt Disney was once fired from his job on a newspaper because he reportedly lacked imagination and had no original ideas. Albert Einstein was nearly four before he learned to speak. He didn’t begin to read until he was seven. You don't succeed by avoiding failure. You succeed by learning from your mistakes.

Fireside

I didn’t see all the super bowl ads this year. SOMEONE was supposed to give those of us not watching the game a heads-up when the commercials began, but he let the ball drop. Of those I did see, most were seriously disappointing. I liked Tide’s miracle stain commercial, though for a moment or two I thought they were selling Doritos. I saw two ads that really were for Doritos. The one with dads dressed up as princesses was cute, but the one with the screaming goat was just plain weird. I liked the spot for Taco Bell with pensioners breaking out of a nursing home to act like teens. Bud had one decent advert, with a Budweiser Clydesdale recognizing the man who raised him. The best commercial (though that’s not saying much) featured a library being quietly sacked by whispering patrons fighting over Oreo cookies.

Circle the Wagons

Cats don’t have owners. Cats have staff. We have been our cat’s staff for fourteen weeks now, and it’s been quite a learning experience. Toodles (we tried to call her Toulouse, but somehow it didn’t stick) should have been spayed right away. But we kept thinking her distraught owners must be out there somewhere, and eventually they’d come claim her. By the time we realized no one was looking for this delightful pet, she was already in heat. And suddenly she wasn’t delightful any more. If you’ve never lived with a cat in heat, be grateful. It’s truly unpleasant. We put an end to the unpleasantness a week ago today, and Toodles is now ours (or we are hers). She has a cone of shame to keep her from bothering her stitches as she heals, and a microchip to keep her from ever becoming a lost pet again.

Perfect Pitch

Terms like tone deaf and perfect pitch sound so absolute. The truth is we all (save the truly deaf) possess some degree of “ear.” Regardless of our innate abilities, we can improve with practice. Tone deafness is the inability to discern the subtle difference between pitches. When I work with a tone deaf child, I begin by playing a note on the piano. Then I play a new note and ask if the second was higher or lower. At first the two notes are very far apart; three octaves or more. Gradually as his skill improves, I choose notes that are closer and closer. Later I sing a note and ask him to sing it back to me. If he gets it wrong, I match his pitch and “lead” him back to the first note I sang. This feels a lot like what a violinist does when tuning his instrument. In a sense, it is tuning an ear.

A Dozen Log Cabins

I got this recipe many years ago from a dear friend Kristen, who got it from her mother Beverly, who got it from someone named Delores.

Delores’ (and Beverly’s and Kristen’s and Linda’s) Texas Sheet Cake

Combine 2 cups of flour and 2 cups of sugar in a bowl. In a saucepan mix together 1 cup water, a stick butter, 1/2 cup shortening and 3 tablespoons cocoa. Bring to a bowl and pour into flour and sugar mixture. Blend well. Stir in 1/2 cup buttermilk, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon cinnamon and 2 lightly beaten eggs. Beat well and pour into a greased 10x15” jelly roll pan. Bake at 400F for 20 minutes. While it’s baking, combine another stick of butter, 3 tablespoons cocoa and 5 tablespoons milk in saucepan. Bring to a boil, remove from heat and beat in 1 lb. powdered sugar. Stir in a cup of chopped nuts and spread on warm cake. Cool completely before serving.