Prince Albert

My kids can barely remember a time before caller ID. If it wasn’t for Bart Simpson and Weird Al Yankovic, they’d probably have no idea what prank calls were. When I was eleven or twelve they were a chief form of party entertainment. You’d call a random number and ask whoever answers if their refrigerator was running. When they said it was, you’d say, “Then you’d better go catch it!” Or you’d call a store and ask if they have Prince Albert in a can. If they did, you’d say, “Let him out before he suffocates!” Yes, I know it’s moronic. That’s sort of the whole point. Before caller ID, you could do completely moronic things like this in total anonymity. Today you can place a blocked call by dialing *67, but your victim would see the caller ID was blocked. I guess anyone who answers a blocked call deserves to be told to go chase his fridge.

Nine Route 66 Blocks

The B.O.M’s at Quilts Etc. this year make 8” finished blocks. May’s block, Desert Sky, is number ten with two more to go. I made them all plus a dozen more, because twelve 8” blocks by themselves make a pretty small quilt. Last month I decided the Vintage Tin quilt pattern from Crabapple Hill would make a nicer setting for the blocks than anything I could draw up. It meant remaking all the blocks at 12” (or so I assumed). I could use scraps for flying geese borders, embroider the two largest panels, and have a stunning quilt top. I actually remade all ten blocks (one isn’t pictured here) before I read the whole Vintage Tin pattern and realized they had to be 9” instead. So this is the third time I’ve made these blocks. Moral of the story: if you switch horses midstream, you may still get where you’re going. But you’re gonna get soaked.

Nine Tiny Friendship Stars

The Friendship Star is almost the easiest quilt block to make. If I were teaching a beginning piecing class, I’d start with a block that only has 90 degree angles, like Rail Fence or Log Cabin. I’d want the second block to incorporate half square triangles, like a Simple Pinwheel or a Friendship Star. I wouldn’t have my class make them this size, though. At three inches or smaller, at least a third of the fabric used in this block will end up in the seam allowance. It makes the finished product impossibly lumpy and awkward. A few months ago I bought a quilt pattern that calls for about a dozen of these itty bitty blocks to be used – almost like an afterthought – in the sashing. I figured the finished quilt would be just as nice without the tiny star blocks. After I decided not to make them, though, they started taunting me. So of course I had to try.

Two Barn Quilts

I was drawing plans for setting the blocks from this year's block-of-the-month club at Quilts Etc. when it occurred to me that I'd never got around to finishing last year's quilt. They’re two quilts, actually. The first is loosely based on a pattern from Eleanor Burns’ book, Quilt Blocks on American Barns. The second uses up the leftover blocks with scrappy hemstitch blocks in between. I made both the tops last summer, and then set them out of my way until I found the right fabrics to use for borders, backs and binding. I guess they were too far out of my way, because I hadn’t given them a single thought for the better part of a year. I must keep my eye out for border/back/binding fabric at this week’s quilt shop hop. I was thinking of donating the second top to some friends who are planning a quilting bee. The first one might look nice on my studio wall this autumn.

Ferry

I suspect the Jungle Cruise is the only ride in Disneyland inspired by a movie Disney didn’t make. It simulates an early twentieth-century river trip through Asia, South America and Africa aboard a tramp steamer like the one Humphrey Bogart piloted in African Queen. Harper Goff, the imagineer who designed the ride, showed construction workers where to dig his convoluted riverbed by dragging a stick through the sand in a recently demolished orange and walnut grove. He repurposed several of the ripped-out walnut trees by flipping them upside-down, hiding their roots with vines and calling them banyans. Walt had originally intended to display live animals in the Jungle Cruise, but was eventually convinced animatronics would be more cooperative. The “tour guides” are the real stars of the show. Their delivery of lines like: “Go ahead and take pictures; the elephants all have their trunks on,” can make or break the attraction.

Spring Flower

“This morning I would like to speak to our sons and to all fathers. How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today’s increasingly toxic world? The answer has been taught by the Lord’s prophets. It is a simple answer, and it is true: The most important thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” By the way you love her mother, you will teach your daughter about tenderness, loyalty, respect, compassion, and devotion. She will learn from your example what to expect from young men and what qualities to seek in a future spouse. You can show your daughter by the way you love and honor your wife that she should never settle for less. Your example will teach your daughter to value womanhood. You are showing her that she is a daughter of our Heavenly Father, who loves her.” – Elaine S. Dalton