Letterman’s 10 Reasons to Vote Democrat:
Because I can marry whatever I want. I’m marrying my German
Shepherd.
Because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon
of gas are obscene, but the government taxing that gallon at 15% isn't.
Because the government does a better job spending my
paycheck than I do.
Because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody’s offended.
Because I'm too irresponsible to own a gun. Police will
protect me from murderers and thieves.
Because I'm not concerned about aborted babies so long as we
keep death row inmates healthy and happy.
Because illegal aliens should have free health care and education,
and we should take Social Security from those who paid into it.
Because businesses shouldn’t make a profit. They should
break even and give the rest away for redistribution.
Because liberal judges should rewrite the Constitution to
suit fringe kooks who’d never get their agendas past the voters.
Because it's better to pay billions for oil to people who
hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle.
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