A policeman was asked, “What would you do if you had to
arrest your own mother?” He answered, “Call for backup.”
Silence is golden, until you have kids. Then, silence is
suspicious.
I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not
spending enough time with them.
Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs
on the floor.
If you’re a mom, you know why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
Nothing’s really lost until Mom can’t find it.
I’m not saying being a mom is hard, I’m just saying I was a
LOT better at it before I had kids.
I play hide-and-seek with my kids, but some days my goal is
to find a hiding place where they can’t find me until after high school.
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