Joyce's Valentine

When asked about the worst Valentine’s gift she’d received, Ashley replied, “A mix tape another girl had given HIM. He’d even tried to scrape off her label and replaced it with his own.” Adriana might have liked her motorcycle calendar if she was into Harleys; or if it wasn’t already six weeks out of date. Meghan said her least romantic gift was a toaster, though admittedly she was still using it years after she dumped the giver. Flowers and potted plants are usually a good bet, but Natalia’s beau might have reconsidered buying her a cactus. Kathleen’s sweetheart got her a card. “He didn’t bother to write anything in it, not even his name.” “I got dinner at a fast food restaurant,” said Denise, “and he conveniently forgot his wallet.” If your Valentine is less than thrilled with your gift this year, you can always show him/her this list. Unless, of course, your gift is on it.

Green Table Runner

Apple Custard Squares

Butter for greasing

3 apples

1/2 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 eggs

1/3 cup granulated sugar

Pinch of salt

2 teaspoons vanilla

6 tablespoons milk

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled (but still liquid)

Confectioners' sugar

Heat oven to 400F. Butter 8-inch square baking pan and line bottom with parchment. Peel apples and slice thinly. In a bowl, whisk together flour and baking powder. In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, and salt. Whisk in vanilla, then milk and melted butter. Add flour mixture and whisk until smooth. With a spatula, gently fold in apples until each slice is coated. Scrape the batter into pan and smooth out the top. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until golden. A skewer in the middle will come out clean. Transfer to a rack to cool, then slice and dust with confectioners' sugar.

Little Purple Elephant

A while ago a friend shared an adorable photo of a mama and baby elephant on facebook with this caption: “No one in the world needs an elephant tusk but an elephant.” Of course, there was the obligatory “like if you agree.” Who wouldn’t agree? Well . . . me. After decades of trying, no one has yet come up with a material that works half so well as ivory on piano keyboards. No matter what the dealers claim, synthetic keys look, feel and act like the plastic fakes they are. I learned to play REAL pianos, made of real ebony and real ivory. Because of ridiculous import laws (and paranoid movers) I wasn’t allowed to bring my real piano with me when I repatriated. Worse, whenever poachers are caught, instead of flooding the market with their loot and reducing the incentive to poach, officials burn mountains of tusks, insuring a continued high price and very likely continued bribery money.

Cherry Lemonade

I’m generally more in the mood for hot chocolate or herbal tea in the middle of February. But this has been a very unusual winter.

Cherry Lemonade

2 cups sweet cherries (No, they won’t be in season for several months, but you can use frozen cherries.)

1/2 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice

1/3 cup sugar

2 1/2 cups cold water

Lemon slices for garnish

Combine cherries, lemon juice and sugar in a blender. Puree until smooth. Strain through a fine sieve into a pitcher. Stir in water. Serve over ice, garnished with lemon slices. This recipe makes enough for two servings. If you’re the only one drinking it, you can cover half and store it in the fridge for a day or two.

Berry Basket

Homemade Strawberry Pop-Tarts

2 cups and 2 tablespoons flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sugar

2 sticks unsalted butter, diced

4 tablespoons cold water

Strawberry jam

Powdered sugar (optional)

Combine flour, salt and sugar in bowl; blend well. Cut in butter with pastry cutter until you have bits the size of peas. Add water and mix until dough forms a ball. Split dough into two balls, cover and refrigerate at least 30 minutes. Roll first ball on a lightly-floured surface until it is about a 1/4-inch thick. Cut dough into 3x4” rectangles. Repeat with second ball of dough. Line two baking sheets with parchment and arrange half the rectangles on them about an inch apart. Spread jam in center or each; then top with second rectangle. Seal around edges by pressing with a fork. Prick each pop tart with a fork. Freeze until ready to use. Bake at 350F 25 to 30 minutes. Dust with powdered sugar.

In the Mix Table Runner

“It is crucial to remember that we are living—and chose to live—in a fallen world where for divine purposes our pursuit of godliness will be tested and tried again and again. Of greatest assurance in God’s plan is that a Savior was promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him would lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials, even though the cost to do so would be unfathomable for both the Father who sent Him and the Son who came. It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive.

For caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers.” – Jeffrey R. Holland