Several years ago I was having lunch with my grandmother and
a few of her friends, and someone posed this question: What qualities would you
look for in a second husband? Grandma and her friends had all been widowed
years before. Every one of them prefaced their reply by saying they had no
intention of remarrying. (I don’t think
any of them ever did. I’ve observed that surviving spouses who were happily
married tend to remarry right away. Widows and widowers who have been happily
single for a long time tend to stay that way. It’s like Newton’s law about motion.) Having said that, it was apparent that they’d given the
matter some thought. They all mentioned helpful things their husbands did that
they miss: fixing the car, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, repairing
leaky faucets, planning fun vacations, etc. I wonder what I’d miss most about
my husband in his absence. What would he miss about me?
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