Hello Gourd-eous!

“Roughly half the people in this country think they're in mortal danger from their own government. I see inefficiency and incompetence, but I've always seen that - regardless of which party's in office. Frankly, I welcome it. I don't like my big bureaucracies to be cold, calculating, enterprises driven by clear-headed singular vision. A cursory glance through history would indicate well-organized governments tend to enjoy well-organized parades, followed by well-organized ethnic cleansing. Which is why I celebrate the muddle-headed ineptitude of our democracy. As far as I'm concerned, a little confusion may keep trains from running on time, but it also keeps me from getting a one-way ticket in a cattle car. Are our tax dollars being misspent on poorly run social programs? You bet! But bureaucrats who can't find their ass with a flashlight and a mirror aren’t likely to find you either. To paraphrase Bobby McGee: ‘Freedom's just another word for who's in charge here?!’” – Chuck Lorre

State Fair Challenge Quilts

 

We dropped off this year’s challenge quilt at the state fair park last night. There were already several small wall hangings there, divided into four categories: pieced quilts, appliqued quilts, combination quilts, and those made by young quilters. As you might expect, nearly all the submitted quilts fell into the pieced category. From what I could tell, most of the other quilters were just as stymied by the “Vintage to Vogue” theme and by the busy 1930’s print as I was. I had hoped to get a glimpse of next year’s challenge fabric while we were there. In previous years, a quilt challenge volunteer would be slicing yardage into fat quarters while we dropped off quilts to be judged. I didn’t see any bolts, so I asked. It will be another Lori Holt 1930’s reproduction, a floral with a cream background and a larger print. And next year's theme will be "Anything Goes."

Sixteen Crabs

 

Last weekend we served KFC to the whole family. I made the gravy and mashed potatoes, buttermilk biscuits, coleslaw and corn on the cob. John picked up the chicken at the drive-through window. As usual, the grandkids treated the meal with heavy suspicion. The almost-six-year-old tried to feed her dinner to the dog. The just-turned-eleven-year-old said I should have sent Grandad to Chick-fil-A. He likes Chick-fil-A’s chicken, but KFC has “too many spices.” So, I looked it up. Those eleven secret herbs and spices aren’t so secret if you know how to Google. According to the Internet, both establishments have nearly identical recipes. The only difference I could see is KFC uses thyme, ginger and ground mustard, and Chick-fil-A adds sugar, MSG and pickle juice. Next week, we’ll probably just grill some hamburgers. There’ll be no tiny bones to threaten my Scottie, and no one will accuse me of feeding them too much spice.

Desert Wind

 

“Imagine being seventy-five and thinking how you never went swimming in the sea on a warm night because your thighs jiggled. Imagine realizing you never laughed until you couldn’t breathe because your teeth weren’t straight or white enough. You never embraced the sun on the beach because of the stretch marks on your stomach. You never allowed yourself to have fun because the pressure to look perfect consumed you. Imagine being seventy-five and realizing you’ve hidden yourself away for fear of being real. Imagine realizing all the years you wasted hating yourself, but now it’s too late to go swim in the sea at night. Now it hurts to laugh and you’re too weak to travel to the beach. Imagine realizing all this time you were perfect the way you were, but now it’s too late to do anything about it. Don’t let that happen. You deserve to realize you’re enough and always have been, before you’re seventy-five." – Lauren Dalton

Delectable Mountain

 

December of 1984, Zak Brown was a thirteen-year-old Jewish boy growing up in Los Angeles. He appeared on Wheel of Fortune that year, because that’s something kids in L.A. could do, at least during “Teen Week.” Zak vied against other kids in the hangman/roulette game for the chance to compete on air for prizes. Zak told Pat Sajak he was a White Sox fan, and his favorite subjects in school were math, science, and history. Then he solved a puzzle (the answer was “Wild Bill Hickock”) and won $3,050 and a “Christmas Gift Boutique.” I don’t know what he did with the gift boutique, but he spent every dime of his $3,050 buying a go-cart. He used the go-cart to kick-start a racing career. Zak quickly went pro and took 22 International Kart Federation wins, three titles, and even went as far as British Formula 3. Today, Zak Brown is the CEO of MacLaren F1 Racing. 

Thirteen Butterflies

 

“Where there is sunshine, shadows must be there too. Floods can bring destruction, but they usually bring life as well. Tears of grief often turn into tears of relief and happiness. Feelings of sadness when loved ones depart are later compensated with the joy of meeting again. In periods of war and destruction, many little acts of kindness and love are also happening for those with eyes to see, and ears to hear. Our world today is often characterized by fear and anxiety—fear of what the future might bring for us. But Jesus has taught us to trust and look unto Him in every thought; doubt not, fear not. Let us constantly make a very conscious effort to see both sides of every coin allotted to us in our lives. Even though both sides might sometimes not be immediately visible to us, we can know and trust that they are always there.” – Elder Mathias Held

Patchwork Pumpkin

 

In 1904, David Stickler was a 24-year-old soda jerk (he worked at a soda fountain, preparing and serving soft drinks, ice cream, and other treats) at the Tassel Pharmacy in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. David was fond of inventing new drinks, sundaes and other concoctions. On August 25, David sliced a ripe banana lengthwise, topped it with three scoops of ice cream (probably chocolate, vanilla and strawberry) sweet syrups, whipped cream, nuts and a maraschino cherry. Students at the nearby St. Vincent College flocked to David’s drug store to ask for his signature dish, which they called a “Doctor Dave’s Sundae.” During school breaks, the students would rave about their favorite dessert to the soda jerks in their home towns. In no time at all, banana splits were available everywhere. Tomorrow is National Banana Split Day, marking exactly 120 years since the invention of this yummy treat.